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My fiance has some great friends, and some others are not so great. They're not mean but they joke around a lot in an immature way.
This weekend they were saying oh my god whose idea was that to have a full mass?? Looking at me, even though we both wanted it. I just responded with "well, we're both Catholic." I don't think that's really the point as plenty of them opt for the shorter version!
Then when they said it again, I ignored them... and then they said it AGAIN, and I laughed "You don't have to come!"
They aren't even invited, I don't even really know this particular guy other than once or twice, but another couple people chimed in and were laughing so I'm wondering, honestly, has anyone groaned for YOUR full mass and what did you do?
I've groaned to the bride. 1.5 hours is a long damn time to sit there it's 5 times as long when you aren't religious.
...yet I have to go out of respect for the couple but I don't have to like it! LOL.
my wannabe MOH said "ugh, so are you going to have one of those long ass Catholic ceremonies then?" yeeeeeeeah... needless to say it solidified my decision to not have her as a bridesmaid! FH's not Catholic so no, we're not having a "long ass Catholic ceremony". i get that it seems long (45 minutes is apparently long), but i don't get why people think it's permissible to knock someone's religious tradition. for just a random rude person, i'd probably just call them out on it or have a comeback in my back pocket and move on. 
"Is it going to be 2 hours long?"
"What is all that sitting and standing and kneeling for? Do I have to do it?"
"Do you really have to have a long ceremony like that?"
It's not an 1.5 or 2 hours, An hour at the most. I mean you are getting free booze after. Don't complain.
I wouldn't knock catholics as I am one myself, respect religion yes. I can however if I choose to make my dislike of "long ass" ceremonies. Let's face it nearly 2 hours to sit through a mass when you're not even of that religion is a very, very long time no matter what way you try to spin it. Though everyone has the right to choose the ceremony as they wish, you can't really blame us for not being all that thrilled about it can ya?
@vmec: if it were 2 hours, then yeah i'd agree. around here though, i haven't heard of one lasting even an hour... i guess it's a regional thing since Klb's agreed it's an hour at the most. for me, i'd rather sit through 45 minutes of a different religious ceremony that i may not understand than hear my friend's internet-ordained uncle stumble awkwardly over his script for 20 minutes, but i still wouldn't complain to her about her choice of ceremony. if someone's so put out by having to attend their friend's chosen wedding ceremony that they have to voice their discontent to the host couple, then why go?
Would you like a straw so you can suck it up? 
I couldn't resist. You can't please everyone; try not to worry about it.
One of our GMs has teased me for years that he'd bring a book to read during my wedding...we bought him a guide to the Mass. ;-)
90% of our guests are going to be Catholic.
I find the quick ceremonies, even when they are in a church, too quick and often not as meaningful. A lot of times the pastor/minster is stumbling over words and one I went to the bride and groom didn't even look at each other and the bride didn't say her vows. I just don't feel it as much.
When you are going to someone's wedding, in respect to them you are agreeing to participate in their ceremony by going. Even if it were a 2 hour mass. If you don't want to sit through it don't go.
@Klb5882: Wait a sec, "we" can't put down a long ass ceremony but "you" can call short and sweet ones not meanigful... Ummm... I beg to differ. Just beacuse catholics have a long ass mass doesn't make it ANY more meaningful then the "short and sweets"
@elliestan: I guess so here, catholic ceremonies are at LEAST 1.5 hours...
A reception is for guests, but a ceremony is for the couple. It's not a show or entertainment. So to be honest, I didn't care if guests didn't want to sit through my hour long ceremony. It was of utmost importance to my husband and I to have a full mass because of our personal beliefs. No one really said anything to us about it though.
Maybe it's because I grew up Catholic, but I do prefer longer ceremonies. WHen I go to a wedding, I want to see a wedding! Not just a party. That's what I go for.
I thought the only difference between a full Mass & the shorter ceremony, was just that with the full Mass, Communion was involved... which I can't imagine would add more than an extra 20 minutes, right? Or am I misinformed?
I have been to some full masses for weddings, but honestly, I think it depends on the priest. I haven't been there for longer than 40 minutes though (or possibly 50, I really never looked much at the time).
Our priest is fairly quick and to the point. We both wanted a full mass and although it's meaningful, I have to laugh at the thought of people complaining because it is going to be SO hard for me!! I have agoraphobia, I don't even know how the heck I'm going to stand that for so long. But I'm going to fight it and I think it will be worth it for this one thing to not take the short way out (only the "short way out" in terms of it being uncomfortable for me!)
how obnoxious! No one has said anything like that to me yet, but I'm sure I would give them a mouthful about how it's actually the wedding CEREMONY that matters, and that IF they get invited, the reception is only the icing on the cake! It's the Sacrament that matters, and if they have a problem with that, they shouldn't come at all.
It's on a rare occasion that I go to a regular mass that finishes sooner than 40 minutes, lol.
The Catholic ceremonies I have been to typically last 1 hr to a 1 hr & 15 min. Of course, I am Catholic so it doesn't seem very long to me, but even if I wasn't, I feel like there is so much tradition within a nuptial mass that I would be entertained and interested regardless.
Honestly, if there is anyone who plans on griping, groaning, or being annoyed at the length of my ceremony (which is about my FH and I -- not them -- that's what the reception is for), I would rather they not even come. You don't have to be religious to respect tradition or the way a couple wants to be married. And even if for some reason you AREN'T looking forward to the "long" ceremony, it is definitely rude to complain or moan about it to the bride or groom.
I think it's a shame that people are happy to spend hours at a reception but are loathe to spend even a moderate amount of time at the ceremony. Celebrating is wonderful, but I think that a lot of the spirituality and sense of commitment have been lost in the modern wedding. Receptions are wonderful, but I think ceremonies deserve more time and appreciation than they often get.
Instead of saying "We're both Catholic" like you can't help it and you need to apologize, look the complainers directly in the eye and say "This is going to be the most meaningful part of the entire day for us." Maybe that will shame them into shutting up :)
No matter how long the wedding Mass is, I don't think the guests have the right to complain. The couple chose to have a Mass because it presumably meant something to them (since any couple is allowed to choose the shorter version, marriage ceremony without the Mass). They also chose to invite their friends to witness the ceremony. To complain that it was too long and boring is simply rude.
@Cappugcino: agree COMPLETELY - the point of the day is not getting to the reception, but celebrating the marriage, which happens at the ceremony - and the ceremony reflects what is important to the couple, and guests should be appreciating and respecting these choices
by the end i told everyone i didnt want to hear about their complaints - to not come if it was too long for them, but to not show up to the reception either then - you can't celebrate my marriage with me if you can't come to the ceremony because its "too long" - harsh, but true
I don't get how full nuptial mass is so long everywhere else, but here it's little over an hour? I mean an hour isn't that long really is it? I've been to weddings that lasted 15 minutes. Over in a flash. I'd hate the most important day of my life to be confirmed with a 15 minute ceremony! It's not all about the party after!
I've been to a full mass wedding that lasted 1.5 hours. It was very exhausting listening to the monotone priest drone on for that long. I felt like I was in class. I seriously almost fell asleep. I've also been to a wedding ceremony that was 45 minutes, but the preist made it fun so it didn't seem that long.
our wedding ceremony might be as long as 2 hours, since we're going to have a ton of beautiful music (we're both musicians,) but we will also provide a pretty detailed program that people can follow along with and will include explanations for things that are very Catholic-specific.
I guess I understand if people complain about being bored cuz it's long, but I wish they would realize, "this is important to US, the couple. If you love us and care about us, which you obviously do since you are here to celebrate this day with us, then you should also care about the things that are important to us, like this long ceremony, and maybe even TRY and UNDERSTAND why it is important to us."
We are both Catholic and opted for just the ceremony for our 15th anniversary and it took 45 minutes(the priest said 30 minutes max but that is inaccurate). I have been to tons of Catholic weddings on the east coast, west coast, Texas, Mexico, and in Japan on average it take 1 hr and a half. I know as the person getting married, time flies but it really does take that long from the time the wedding party walks in to the time they walk out. I had the opposite problem! Everyone was complaining that they wanted the full Mass and that my ceremony wasn't long enough. You can never please everyone but you can be happy with your choice. My answer to the ones complaining was that when they got married or celebrated their anniversary they could have a full Mass but mine would be my way. BTW everyone was in tears during our ceremony and i still get comments on how my ceremony was the most beautiful and personal Catholic wedding/anniversary they ever attended.
Well I was surprised when my father was the one that groaned. A full mass??? sigh ...
I returned with ... Payback for 12 years of CCD suck it up Pops.
(he did laugh at that)
HisIrishPrincess: LOL!!! I almost fell out of my chair laughing!
@yassim: i had a full catholic mass and it lasted only an hour - most of my guests were family so they were prepared for the lengthy mass but those weren't actually commented on how quickly the mass seemed to go and how lovely it was.
I'm not Catholic, but being Orthodox, our ceremony was 45 minutes to an hour long. I think as long as you have something to follow along in, it shouldn't be all that bad. Plus, it was most of my friends' first time at my church which is an adventure in itself. There are a lot of different aspects of what's going on, and a lot of stuff to watch for. So while there were some naysayers about how long everything was, there were plenty of people who told us how interesting it was to see.
I think you're there for the couple, not the party...so whether it's 15 minutes or an hour and 15 minutes, you should suck it up.
@2PeasinaPod:exactly! however, unfortunately I think a lot of people honestly DO think it's just about the party... :-/
@HisIrishPrincess: that was HILARIOUS.
@vmec: You can't blame people for how they feel but you can blame people for how they choose to express those feelings. Complaining about the ceremony choice is no more polite than complaining about the food or music or anything else to the bride.
My FMIL is the one that groaned about ours being a full mass. She said, "Oh, God! Kill me now." What is confusing to me is how she talks about how she went to Catholic school growing up, is always talking about how she needs to be going to church with us, and baptised her children in the Catholic church. She had absolutely no problem being at Christmas eve mass, after we got engaged or going to my sister's full mass ceremony last December.
If that's the way she feels, I pretty much decided to exclude her and her family from being a part of the ceremony. Obviously, they are invited and will be there, but not participating. It was my last straw with her.
@hisirishprincess: LOVE IT!!!!
totally depends on the priest ., but lets face it ..if its one of those monotone ones that go ON and ON ..Yes it does suck ! Perhaps they will just skip the church .
My FI and I are both Catholic and the majority of the people attending will be Catholic however, he has a nice phrase for our griping friends...
You know, we Catholics, marry and bury in long ceremonies.
Then he makes some comment about how our reception will be worth it. Works for us!
Ours was a full standard Catholic wedding Mass, and it was just shy of a full hour. Hey, that's the price of dinner, Guests! You have to sit through the Mass to get to generous dinner and open bar! 
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