Post # 1
Do you think that two unmarried Christians should go on a oversees vacation together? My bf and I were really excited to plan a vacation together but we’re concerned about the message this will send to others.
Obviously we’re devoted to God and know our limits, but when I mentioned our vacation plans to one of my good friends she automatically assumed the purpose of the trip was to “seal the deal”
Which put me off a bit, obviously you wouldn’t want to go around telling people you’re not going and do anything but at the same time you dont want send the wrong message. I’m confused on what to do?
Post # 3
Go on the vacation and have fun. It doesn’t matter what other people think. What people think is more an indication of them than you. What is it you could do on vacation you couldn’t do at home anyway? Some people just need to mind their own business!!!
Post # 4
I think that as long as your actions reflect your beliefs, you should do what you want to do. People might think what they want, in reality, it’s not their business, and judging and gossiping is not acting in God’s way.
That being said, being away on oversees vacations is a great opportunity for temptation (depending where you are, of course – I went to Egypt with my DH a few years ago: dirty rooms with 2 single beds are not sexy!). You should definitely consider having separate rooms and some type of curfew, so that your boundaries are not just your personal will.
Post # 5
You two need to be the one’s to decide if this is appropriate for you.
It’s unfortunate that people will judge, but that’s the world we live in. Also, as Christians, we are to avoid the appearance of sin. My husband and I went camping by ourselves a few times before we were married, and a few people did comment. I just told them that he and I had set proper boundaries for our behavior before marriage and were honoring God and ourselves with those. I didn’t mind telling people that we were waiting and were faithful to that commitment.
Post # 6
As long as you both know your boundaries I see no problem with it. However, I am often reminded that we are not to be a stumbling block to others and to be careful of how we present ourselves to the world. If I were you, I would let people close to me that there won’t be any physical activity(yeah, it’s not ideal to have to say it) but better to make sure they know and not imagine something else.
Post # 7
I understand being careful of how we present ourselves, but it just upsets me that people can be so judgemental. I’ve found in my life that usually those who criticize the most are the ones who should be watching what they are doing. We need to be true to our own boundaries and beliefs without judging.
Post # 8
Who cares what people think! You know what is in your heart and that is all that matters.
Post # 9
Exactly what ksasam said!! You know what is in your heart and that is all that matters.
Post # 10
I agree you know how you are and if people assume you have sex on vacation what is stopping it from happening when you are home? I would suggest though looking into hostels that have seperate rooms for males and females becuase it would probably make you feel more comfortable.
Post # 11
I say go and have a fabulous time! Vacays are harder to come by as time progresses (it seems to me). So GOOOOOOOOOOOO!! 🙂
Post # 12
Thanks very much for all the support and great advice.
You are right there’s no stopping people from thinking whatever they want to think in the first place.
Almostmrsdonelley your right, we shouldn’t be a stumbling block to ourselves and others. But like Ksasam said once you know whats in you heart thats all thats matters.
We’re going to take all the necessary procedures to make sure temptation doesnt get the best of us.
Will talk it over with him.
Post # 13
I had this same problem. My parents used to scowl at the idea of us traveling together but now it’s happened a few times and they kind of turn a blind eye to it. They used to ask if there would be a fold out couch or two bed in the room. Now they don’t bother. And I’ve gotten to where I’m not apologetic when telling my friends that I’m going out of town with my FI.
I have friends who work in ministry and are “above reproach” in their outward appearance but I know their secrets and I know that they have made some mistakes. Which is worse? I understand wanting to appear to be wholesome but at some point you just have to live your life.
Non-believers won’t get it and will assume things. That’s not really something you can avoid unless you make your sex life (or rather lack thereof) a regular topic of conversation, which is also inappropriate!
Please enjoy your vacation and know that we really respect you for your efforts to maintain your purity are really respected and appreciated by the ladies of this board! =)
Post # 14
Thank you Dreamer your encouragement means a lot to me.
Post # 15
Hi wedding date twin!
I am sorry you are struggling with this. I know what you mean—I’ve had others assume that my FI and I are having an intimate relationship purely based on how long we’ve been together. I don’t like that they assume, but I know that what they think really doesn’t matter because I can’t stop them from doing so.
Don’t let those judgments stop you from living your life. Your commitment is between you and your FI and God—and clearly, you three are well aware of what is and isn’t going on.