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there are good and bad things that happened on any date. I think as long as it isn't an emotional day for anyone in your family or wedding party- roll with it. Also see if vendors will give you a discount since it might be a hard date to sell!
I agree with vistagirl but also keep in mind the attitude of your guests. Were some of your guests affected? Did they have close ones in NY at the time? If a majority of those are no, go for it. Plus it would nice to have this date associated with something positive! ;)
I have no problem with it, but I live on the West coast and was not directly affected by the Sept. 11th attacks. I think as long as you and most of your family/friends are ok with the date, I say go for it. :)
I don't want to sound mean or in any way crush your hopes and you should certainly do what feels right to you and your fiance. However since you are asking, I would honestly say that I would not get married on Sept. 11th. Yes, its true that you can't let a bunch of terrorists get in the way of you and your fiance sharing your love for one another; however the flip side to that is that it's also a day when thousands of Americans lost their lives. Personally I think it should be treated as a holiday and designated a day of remembrance. It reminds me of how my mom always said we weren't allowed to do anything "fun" on good friday... it's about having respect for what happened on that day in history. Yes its getting further and further away, and yes, in some ways its just another day, but I don't know.. I don't think it should be forgotten. The thought of celebrating on such a (in my eyes) mournful day just doesn't seem right. I hope this doesn't offend you, just giving you my opinion.
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no one in my family or guest list was directly affected on 9-11. yes it is a day of rememberence but what about pearl harbor day?? people get married on that day..many dont even know when it is...december 7. that was another horrible day for our country.
just trying to get some opinions. i apreciate them all.
If you are already sure you want to get married that day then I don't think you should worry what others think and you should go ahead with the date and celebration. I just thought you wanted opinions so that's why I shared mine. No one in my family or my guest list was directly affected by the attacks either but I have strong feelings that just because I wasn't affected personally doesn't mean I wasn't affected as an American. I think it's a bit ignorant of a lot of people (I'm not saying just you, I know a lot of people think this) to think that because they themselves did not lose someone on that day means it is not as mournful a day.
You are very right that Pearl Harbor day is a similar thing, as are many days as a matter of fact. Vistagirl is right that good and bad things happen on every day. I just think because Sept 11th was still relatively recent, it's a bit more sensitive of a day for many people. But like I said, it really boils down to what you and your fiance want and how you guys feel about it. If you're okay with it, go for it.
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I don't think its necessarily tacky, but it certainly wouldn't be my first choice. I'll be in a wedding on the 12th of September... and when my bestie told me her wedding date for the first time... my first thought was, "oh, the day after 9/11". So, yeah, it is a date in-grained in our minds for it being what it is. I guess if you're able to get past your happiest day being on one of the worst tragedies in our recent history... then great for you. But you'll also have to try to be understanding of your guest's reactions. Pearl Harbor is another tragedy that comes to mind, but that was 12. 7. 1941... not so recent... not a touchy date anymore IMO.
It's a day like any other day, go for it! If anything, it adds some joy to an otherwise sad day for a lot of people, and I think that's a GOOD thing.
I would say no-- not just because it's so recent, but because we refer to the terrorist attack by the date on which it occurred. Unlike December 7, which we refer to as "Pearl Harbor", we use the actual term "September 11th" to represent the attacks in New York and Washington.
I think it could conjure up bad images in the minds of your guests, too-- because the date of your wedding is synonymous with the name by which we refer to the attacks in 2001.
i think, if this is the date that best works for you- you should go for it. I think it would be lovely to think sept 11, the day elizatara's wonderful wedding. we need to acknowledge what happened but more so we need to embrace our life and happy times.
It's touchy either way you go, but have you thought about maybe doing something as a part of your ceremony like a special prayer or moment of silence to honor those that were lost...you can't know for certain the situation of every one of your guests, and the memories they have of that day. But that may be an alternative way to allow you to keep the date you want and still make sure that your guests know that you aren't dismissing what happened on 9/11. I am sure it would be appreicated.
GG
Okay, I didn't lose anyone, but I think everyone was pretty deeply affected by what happened. However, I don't know why you wouldn't celebrate your love on that day. My little cousin was born 9/11/2001, so it is a celebratory day in my family, no matter what. Should we stop celebrating his birth just because people died on that day? No. My birthday is 9/9...and if the following weekend includes 9/11, I'm going to celebrate on that day.
I don't think that anyone at your wedding would criticize you, as it's an impossible day to forget. So it's not like you're laughing in the face of those who suffered. If you feel like it needs to be acknowledged, then add something in memorial. You could even just mention it in a program or at your reception.
If you look really hard, you'll probably find something tragic that has happened on every day of the year. But you'll also find wonderful things that happened as well.
You could honor it by donating to a veterans fund or something like that.
Being a soon-to-be military wife myself, I'd be abhorred by the idea, even though I see where you are coming from. Personally....I would never do it. I always get melancholy on september 11, vividly remembering the news, even though i was in california at the time. There are always lots of rememberances going on and such, too, and parades, etc....it's very "recent" still and Sept 11 is known as Sept 11.
that being said, people get married on memorial day weekend and the such.
Seriously it just needs to be made a federal holiday already.
Of course it's not tacky.
But, in my honest opinion, I probably would not get married on September 11 just because I wouldn't want my anniversary to be associated with something so significant and sad. I kind of think it's just too soon, for me personally.
But if you are comfortable with it, I say go ahead. Life does go on. I actually decided to fly on Sept 11 of last year and was a little nervous, but what can you do.
In 30 years Septemeber 11 will mean as much to your grandkids as December 7th means to my generation now, even though the date meant way more to your grandparents. Bad things happen everyday but life goes on and you shouldn't let any day ruin yours. I know people who have September 11th as a birthday and it never stops them from celebrating
I live in NYC area and am marrying a NYC firefighter who was born on Dec 7, which is also delaware day, the day the delaware become the first state in union(I was born there)as well as Pearl Harbor day.
If no one is directly affected, I think you can do it. Life goes on. But I do agree with the above, Pearl Harbor is Pearl Harbor Day. 9/11 is 9/11. So it will be a reminder every year.
I don't know that I would do a special prayer during the ceremony, if you're not directly affected. Personally, I wouldn't want to be reminded at a happy moment. Though if the ceremony was in a church it might be different. It might be best to avoid the morning as well. But I would say some people are sure to be offended and/or have an opinion.
I met my fiance because of 9/11.
I was not directly affected, but I will also never forget. I understand the whole "something bad happens every day" train of thought... but for the rest of your life, when people ask when your anniversary is, and you say Sept 11, I bet you'll get a less than enthusiastic look.
So, I don't think its tacky, and of course you should do what you think is best, but I would never do it. Why not the weekend before or after?
We too are considering September 11 for our wedding date; our anniversary is Sept. 11, 2003. I think if this is the day that best fits the two of you and your families go ahead. You are not disrespecting this country or those who have lost their lives by planning a celebration on this calender day or any other. Your wedding is one of love and a new life; what a wonderful thing to celebrate on any day. If you decide on September 11, consider a late afternoon or evening wedding. I think many people will have the opportunity to show their respect and remember the events of 9/11 in the morning (if they choose) and celebrate your day later, an event of happiness.
I'm going to come right out: if I got a wedding invite for September 11, I would seriously consider attending.
We are not even 10 years from the event. Your one-year anniversary will fall on the ten-year anniversary of the attacks. And every year, you will be combining what should be memories of one of the best days of your life with the tragic history of one of the worst days in our nation's history. I just think it's a hard thing, even though I completely believe that we need to make happy memories beyond the simple date.
And a note about Pearl Harbor Day, December 7. My sister planned her wedding on that date--until my grandparents found out. They were horrified and saddened. She changed the date.
Even if it's a day that holds no special remembrance for you, you don't know about your guests.
BUT...this being said, I myself am getting married on Memorial Day weekend. But, as part of the wedding weekend, we're inviting everyone who is coming to the wedding to attend the National Memorial Day Concert on the Mall here in DC (the night before the wedding). It's a sad day, yes, but we're actually honoring and celebrating that, as well as all of our family members' military service.
Please don't take any of my comments as offensive, as I definitely don't mean them to be. I just wanted to speak frankly on some of the thoughts that might surround such a decision. I don't know. it's a very, very tough call.
I like what UrbanLeo said. I also like the idea of doing somethign special if you do decide to go ahead with the date.. maybe a moment of silence in the cermony or something.
The thing is, Josalyn is right about how in 30 years 9/11 will mean as much to your kids as Pearl Harbor day did to us growing up... but that's OUR fault, not theirs!! I think if we all made the effort to not forget, that wouldn't happen. But it's up to us.
Hmm, ok first of all coming into this thread as an outsider, a non-american (I am Canadian) So my views and opinions obviously will differ from many, but I personally don't think that getting married on that date is an issue.
Although like many of you said, if there was no one affected by the 911 attacks in your family/friends then it shouldn't be considered 'tacky'. Bizz1011 opinion is that you shouldnt because of how recent it was...recent to me means within the last year or two - nearly 10 is almost a decade....
I 100% feel for all those affected by 911, and it is such a sad and horrible day for so many - however there are so many other days for rememberance in our history throughout the WORLD, not just the US, but does not stop others from having celebratory events on them, and so many should continue to celebrate their LIVES!
was Sept 11 a special day for you and you Fiance? a first date? etc? if so you can't help that...I don't know I kind of feel like I am coming off harsh in this and that is not my intent.
I just feel that if you find it appropriate to do it on Sept 11 then do it. I dont think I should contiune on
I lost a classmate in the WTC building, knew friends who walked out alive, and had friends who lost relatives on 9/11. The thought of that day can still bring tears to my eyes, but that is 9/11/2001. I will never forget that horrid day. While I personally would not choose 9/11, I do believe that life goes on and if you hold your wedding on 9/11/2010, as a guest, I would gladly attend and celebrate the happier things in life.
I personally didn't want to get married on that date, but I wouldn't be offended if I was invited to a wedding on that date.
I would not personally have my wedding on that day, it would just feel weird to have it on a day of rememberance. My hubby is a firefighter, so I'm pretty sure he would feel the same way. I wouldn't be offended if I were invited to a wedding on that day, though.
No one asks this question about Memorial Day weddings (a day to remember our fallen commrades in battle and those currently risking their lives!). No one asks this about D-Day, or December 7th, or any of the other days we remember the fallen. I think you can tell I'm leaning toward saying: WHO CARES? Bad things happen, but life goes on. If you chose not to get married on any day in which 3,000 people died at once...you couldn't get married ever. World War II pretty much secured that. Should we remember what happened on 911? Absoulutely. Should we lock ourselves in our houses and never do anything on September 11th? Um no.
(For those who care, D-Day is June 6th, and December 7th marks the Pearl Harbor attacks.)
For those comparing a wedding celebration to a birthday celebration, we still celebrate birthdays on 9/11 because you don't choose what day you're born!
Someone brought up what negative reactions you will get when people ask you when your anniversary is....but who ever does that? I didn't know my parents' own wedding anniversary until I was nearly an adult, and I don't know anyone else's except for theirs. Do you know the anniversaries of anyone who you aren't directly related to or whose wedding you didn't attend?
What matters is whether you and the people you care about will be bothered by the associations. And for the guests, the associations really matter only for that day; afterwards they are probably going to forget exactly when your wedding was. Then it will be just you who remembers, and you will have to decide if it matters to you. It sounds like it doesn't, so I say go for it.
Just curious...what is your reason for wanting to get married on that particular day? Is it one of those things where that's really the only date that's going to work, or do you want to make a statement about life going on and beautiful events taking place on that day (aka, your wedding! 
)
I think you've heard a pretty good range of reactions here so I think the question is how you feel about it at this point. If it would really bother you to know that people are going to associate your anniversary date with that tragedy then I would say maybe it's not for you. If that wouldn't be an issue then I think should proceed, with sensitivity (others have given great suggestions about honoring the day.)
A bit of background: I was in 10th grade on 9/11. I went to high school (and still live) in a county where at least half, probably more, of students' parents worked for the government, many in the Pentagon, which was less than 10 miles away. Everyone knew someone who died. We were really scared. I made frantic calls all 7th period while watching the news. I will never forget that day.
That said: Go for it. It was a horrible day. But it was a horrible day 8 years ago. If none of your guests lost someone, get married that day and be happy. No one should judge you for that.
@Johnsbride09
With reason or not... people shouldn't, but they very well may judge. It is clear from the board that there are people who would at least be a little surprized. I just see it as... is 9/11 significantly important to her? Enough to deal w/ people possibly judging her for choosing the date she did? Weddings are hard enough to deal w/ let alone people's rxn to the choosen date... mainly b/c it is the most recent of our nation's tragedies. You can never be sure of how some people would react to the details.
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ok so me and my fiance decided that we want to get married on Sept. 11 of next year. i know that its a sad day in our nation's history but why should we let the jerks who attacked us stop us from celebrating our love and unity??
do you think that getting married on sept. 11 is tacky?? just trying to get some feedback.