What do you think? Fair or Unfair?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Do you think this student should be allowed to go?
    Yes : (19 votes)
    20 %
    No : (71 votes)
    75 %
    Other (explain) : (5 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @megz06:  I’m not a teacher, but I am a step-mom-to-be….and I feel it’s fair. Our band opperated under the same system, and every year *someone* tried to get special treatment.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2537 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @megz06:  I see the mother of the girl’s point of view on this.  I’m sorry, but it pissed me off in high school that due to scheduling difficulties I was left out of things.  You have to understand, foreign language requirements are now becoming standard for entrance to better universities. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    387 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’m not an educator but, I think what your DH said to her is fair.  Bending the rules for one student means bending them for all students.  If it comes to the school getting involved see if the rules can be changed meaning, the student could get the money she fundraised back.  Not fair to the students in previous years who were unable to go and lost out on their money but, at least it’s something.  I am a huge believer in the “if you don’t do the work, you don’t get to participate” school of thought.  I also come from an area where it seems like sports are the holy grail, the attitude that “I should be able to play” even though I missed practices, games and whatever else drives me up a freaking wall. 

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    15072 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    She HAS to take an 11th grade HS class for college? Sorry, sounds like someone’s reaching for an excuse there. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    342 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Sounds like basic priorities. Do you value sign language or choir more? Something will have to be sacrificed. That’s life. Its not the choir director’s fault, she should be trying to rearrange her schedule if she just can’t give one of those up.

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    11469 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Not a mom but I was in choir and took vocal lessons from an early age and the standard was the same for everyone, you commit all year or you don’t commit at all. The same goes for sports or any other “group” that requires practices and events.

    I am now a coach and I have the same attitude when it comes to my girls playing. You have to be there 100% or there are consequences. Regardless of the reasons behind an absence it affects the team as a whole. The same priciple applies to choirs.

    All in all it sucks, I know. I had a lot of things planned at the same time and had to make choices, looks like she will have to do the same.

    Post # 10
    Member
    342 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @tksjewelry:  +1…. College classes very rarely have prerequistes outside of college cirriculum. I’m in 2 different foreign languages and I started one from scratch. No prior experience. Most people do…

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    3718 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’ve been a teacher for 13 years. What your DH said is very fair. 

    Many colleges have a foreign language requirement (you take 4 years in high school and then you don’t have to take one in college. BUT, for all colleges I’m aware of, it’s ANY language. 

    Plus, I have a Masters in sign language. There aren’t that many programs to major in sign language and as far as I know, none of them have mandatory high school classes you have to take to get into the program. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I am in the “no” camp, unless we get more info on this HS course and college needs.  I know I got college credit for 4 of my HS classes due to a partnership with a local college.  It wasn’t a requirement, but it saved me $300 per class.  That was still a choice though.

    Post # 14
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Is she looking to go to Galludet? From what I understand you must be fluent in ASL to apply, because all of the classes are in ASL. I’m not sure I know which side I’m on in this situation, but I respect the student for putting her college priorities ahead of electives. It’s a shitty situation. It sucks when the classes you want/need overlap.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @megz06:  Does she really HAVE to take this sign language class? I mean, is it an absolute must for her college education/acceptance? Also, is this a new class that just began interfering with choir?

    If this answer to both of those questions is yes, then I think one of two things should happen here. Either she be allowed to go on the trip, or she be refunded the money.

    I agree it isn’t fair for her to go if she doesn’t practice all year, & in that case she could be given the money (assuming the above questions are both “yes.”). It’s really not fair for an uncontrollable & extenuating circumstance to get the in way of her going AND keep her from recouping her money.

    It would be different if this sign language class wasn’t totally necessary, or she had time to plan for it if this scheduling conflict had long been known..

    For your DH to leave her high & dry if she both needs the sign language class & it just began interfering with choir class time seems a little calloused.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    looks like she’s about to learn her first tough lesson as a soon to be graduate: sometimes life sucks and you have to just keep your eye on the future.  also… her mom is an annoying helicopter parent.  I think your husband is right.

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