- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
This is mostly for teacher Bees, but I’m curious at what anyone would say.
DH is a choir teacher. Every 2 years they partner with a few schools and go on a choir tour. 2 years ago they went to Texas and visited an array of places, including the Alamo. They sing at these locations. It is a fun week where they sing the music they learned over the past year. This year they are going to Chicago.
They start fundraising in 9th grade for themselves. That money accumulates for them for their trip they expect to take when they are juniors and seniors. If they skip 10th grade but come back to choir in 11th grade and make it both semesters, they do NOT lose out on the money that they raised in 9th and 11th grade. However, they go in WITH THE UNDERSTANDING that if they are NOT in choir their full junior or senior year that the trip is taking place, that money gets put into a general choir fund to be split amongst the rest of the choir to cover their expenses.
In order to go you MUST be in choir the full school year. This eliminates those students who hate choir but just join at the last semester so they can go.
Here is what is happening: An 11th grade girl plans to go to college for sign language. She’s been in choir since 9th grade, raised money to fund the trip they are taking this summer. However, the school put a sign language course over the top of choir, and she supposedly has to take this course for college. She asked DH to let her just participate in the concerts so she could still come on the trip. DH, in short, said absolutely not. It is all or nothing. You have to be in choir the full year. Those songs they learn throughout the whole year are what they sing on tour, and she will not be prepared with her music if she doesn’t contribute to the group. She cried, carried on, and told her mom (who happens to be my mom’s BFF awkwardly enough).
Student’s mom, WHO IS AN EDUCATOR, talks to DH and says it is wrong that he won’t let her go on the trip and that she will lose her fundraising money (since she is in 11th grade, there isn’t an opportunity for her to go again). DH said he cannot bend the rules for her just because there is a class she has to take for college. He said he has been in this situation before, and he cannot bend the rules for any reason. If he does, he is going to get other kids that will want to take Art or German and still expect to take the trip even though they haven’t contributed to the choir.
So the mom is pissed now and told DH she won’t be letting this go. She has already bitched to my mom, who is put between a rock and a hard place being this is her BFF and DH is her SIL, BUT luckily my mother has a spine AND was also a music teacher for 25 years, and told her that she, as an educator, is putting my DH in a tough and unfair position.
We always relate this back to sports since everyone values sports like the holy grail in our community: would you expect a kid to not practice or play the games, but when the team makes it to state he can play? I don’t think so.
So, educator Bees, fair or unfair?