@MariaW: I have asked a similar question, I asked engaged bees that were formerly waiting to post whether it worked or not!!
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/former-waiting-bees-did-the-shut-it-pact-work
I tend to think if the guy is going to propose but you bugging him has put him off, it works. There is part of me that thinks, if he is stalling or not sure, the silence is just a welcome reprieve and opportunity to stall in peace!
i have not had any success in shutting it up, but I look forward to replies from others.
I've shut it up for 4 whole days and he has brought it up every single day, in terms of "when we have kids ..." etc. However, I think he is probably just happily stalling, and I don't know if he has noticed I've been keeping quiet since it's just been a little while. Oh well, keeping quiet has at least made me feel better!
I guess it depends on your SO and where they're at. I've shut it up for the past 3 weeks, I know my man already has the ring, and in this time he's talked about engagement and wedding-related stuff more than I think he's ever done in our entire relationship! I suspect he'll be proposing this month which may be why he's bringing it up on his own much more often.
Having said that, I'm actually a little worried that by me shutting it up I'm causing him some concern and confusion. I used to waffle on about weddings on the regular before I joined the shut-it-up pact and he'd hardly say a word, but he obviously knew I wanted to get engaged because of how often I brought it up. But now that I'm keeping quiet he's asking a lot of questions, e.g. are you sure you'd take my name, would you really say yes if I asked, etc., and I think it's because I've not said a word about marriage for a while. I think it's making him wonder if I really want it anymore, and whether I'd even accept his proposal if he asked me.
So I think it could be a catch 22 for some couples and it really depends on where you're at in the relationship.
Well, I broke the shut-it-up pact today and told my SO about it when we were looking at rings together, and he said he hadn't even noticed that i hadn't mentioned marriage in 2 weeks. Gahhh! All that work to shut my yap and for what? A laugh and a "Oh I didn't even notice, haha." oh well.
@Omgbunnies: Ohh that's equally funny and upsetting at the same time. But the outcome was a good one with it ending in ring shopping. Yay!
@katlovesjames: Equal parts funny and upseting is usually how my life goes lol
@Omgbunnies: Oh me too!! On a daily basis in fact. :p
I broke the pact even though I was mostly not trying to mention anything because I mistakenly found out he ordered the ring. He told me "If you keep prying, I will keep waiting.." and although it was teasing, made me think I really was just nagging him lol
I'm attempting to follow the pact. I messed up yesterday by watching Four Weddings, but I don't think he noticed it was on tv. So far though, he's been bringing up "our future wedding", telling me he has to get my "shiny" by next year, and asking me if I'm really ok with him wearing a kilt on our big day. So it seems to be working so far. I think he's just happy to be able to plan in peace now.
@MissLibra: Ah well there's always next week. But on a positive note... he's ordered the ring! Woohoo!
@Tarheelgurl: If all you did was watch Four Weddings I think you're still safe. Disqualification only comes if you watch it and then proceed to discuss anything engagement or wedding related with your SO.
I don't think not talking about getting engaged etc is the problem - the problem is when you get drunk or have a bad day, SO comes home, and you blast him with WHEN ARE WE GETTING ENGAGED IVEWAITEDLONGENOUGHYOUEVILBASTARD!!! And he's like
It's so funny how successful grown-ass women carry on like that - I know, I did it myself a few times! 
I say make SURE he knows that you are waiting, and then shut up. If you think 'It's been 6 years so I'm sure he will propose, I'll just wait', then get ready to keep waiting!!
@JellyFeet: LOL @ WHEN ARE WE GETTING ENGAGED IVEWAITEDLONGENOUGHYOUEVILBASTARD!!!
We had no progress on the waiting front until I stopped shutting it up and playing it cool. We decided to look at rings after a pretty bad waiting meltdown--I didn't need to know when, just if, and I felt like he wasn't giving that to me.. But once I knew he had it, I shut it up. I wanted the proposal to be his thing, and to not feel pressured by me.
First, you have to let him know what you want. Then, shut up! I think a lot of it is that the guy realizes you love him and don't just want to get married. He can enjoy the relationship and not feel pressured all the time. I shut it up for a few months and it worked!
@JellyFeet: Hahaha! I think that when sober. Mostly since I calm down when I've had something to drink. Good job phrasing it!
@Omgbunnies: I feel like my SO is like yours - he probably hasn't noticed that I've stopped bringing it up.
@EffieTrinket: You always sound so calm from your posts - I can't imagine you having a waiting meltdown!
I worry that he will think there's no urgency to move if I start keeping quiet. But after my months of crazy, I don't think anyone can think that's the case.
Think there is a big difference if (a) you have talked about it (how's he supposed to know what you want if you don't tell him?) and (b) he has the ring or not.
i've learned that you have to let him know what you want, but after that keep quiet - he won't get annoyed by nagging and you will focus on something different and probably find inner peace.
actually, i have no idea if my FI's proposal was a result of all the waiting "tricks" like sticking to shut-it-up pact, mr. bee's plan and cooking engagement chicken, or just a wild coinscidence. :)
Before we got engaged, I used to bring it up a lot and it would occasionally turn into arguments because his seeming lack of interest put me in a bad mood. I was also stressed over work and school, so that didn't help either. I did eventually realize that I was putting an unnecessary strain on our relationship and I told him I wouldn't bring it up anymore, I wouldn't get angry over it anymore and I'd be ready whenever he was. He couldn't afford the ring and he said that was what held him back, but I told him the ring didn't matter.
He proposed two weeks later. :3 In all honesty, when we had that talk, I was trying to tell him that we were still young, we had time and I had mentally prepared myself to wait. He always takes what I say the wrong way, lol.
@MariaW: I've only shut up for a week, but yea he has brought it up more too!
Perhaps if the shut up comes after a conversation where your feelings are explicitly stated and understood it is more helpful?
Just wanted to add that I think shutting it up has been really good for me! I've calmed down so much and am back to being super happy for no good reason whatsoever. Maybe that makes me more likeable? Who knows, but it sure is nice!
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I'm interested in hearing what my fellow bees think happens when a girl shuts up! Do some guys not even notice? Are some just relieved and put off proposing or making a commitment? Are some excited to start planning in peace? Do others get worried?
Share your thoughts and experiences, please! I'm always interested in how different people's ideas can be!