- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I think I’m being oversensitive, but I’m not sure.
So. My grandfather is very sick. On Tuesday, my dad emailed us (me, my brother, my aunts and uncles) an update that basically said my grandpa was going to die in the next few days (now he’s a bit better, but…). I called my husband to see where he was, and met him, and told him, and started crying. His reaction…to stand there. He didn’t say a WORD. His dad came in (we were at their office, after hours) and saw I was crying and immediately came over and sort of gave me a half hug and asked what was going on. Later, my husband and I were in his car on our way to a late dinner, and he’s talking about how he knows “exactly what I’m going through” because his grandparents died, too. He was going on and on about how they all died. I’m sorry, but his relationship with his grandparents was no where near as close as mine is with my grandfather. He knows that, and we’ve had that conversation before, plenty of times. I say, “I am sad because I worry I won’t see my grandpa again,” and his response, “Yeah, my grandfather died when I was 16, so…you should feel lucky.” I feel like he is always trying to say he has had it worse than I do because his grandparents all died by the time he was 21. It’s not a competition!!!!
Then later I was talking to my best friend, and my husband was waiting in the car. She had to go do some work, so I went over to say goodnight to him (he had work to do, too) and he’s acting like he’s annoyed about something. So I asked him like three times what the hell was wrong, and finally he’s like, “You owe me $180.” WHAT THE FUCK. I know that. I have been dealing with my grandfather dying. AND his dad had just given us $500 in CASH for our trip next week. He is such a dick about money. He gets money from his dad, for NOTHING, all the time, and meanwhile I work my ass off for every dollar I have, and he’s bugging me about $180 when he knows I’m completely upset about my grandpa.
I didn’t see him yesterday (conflicting work schedules). I got a text from my best friend asking about my grandfather, and my mother-in-law called (my father-in-law told her). From my husband? Nothing.
Today I come home to find a printed sheet of information about the money I owe him. We’re going to California next week, and he paid for all the hotels and airfare, and I’ve been paying him back. That’s fair. Except his math is wrong, because I paid for $200 of part of the trip, and he didn’t include that in his little calculations.
I feel like he is being cold and unempathetic, and then also a dick about money. He knows I work hard, and that my bills eat up most of what I make. He doesn’t help me pay any of my bills, and I don’t expect him to. I do expect sympathy about how hard I work. If I comment on how frustrated I am that I have no money, he does the same thing mentioned above he does with my grandfather — “Yeah, I know, I have so many bills, and car payments, and blah blah blah.” Like his life is worse than mine. Well, it’s not. He doesn’t have to go to work if he doesn’t want to, since he works for his dad, and his dad is okay with him doing work from home. He only works one job while I work full-time and have three part-time jobs.
Obviously the money stuff is something we need to talk about. But am I being oversensitive about his “sympathy” or lack thereof with regards to my grandfather? Kind of I just wanted to vent.