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I hate the idea of a cash bar, but we're on a very small budget and are spending more then I anticipated. We originally were going to just spike punch (tacky?), but the venue won't let us bring in anything but cake. We want alcohol too, as receptions that have it last longer, so cutting that out is not an option. So really it's spend 2-4k on booze, which is completely over budget or do a cash bar. I thought about offering one drink on us then they have to pay for the rest. What do you think?
I think that way too much emphasis is put on what you "have" to do for guests. Any little gesture (one hour of open bar, one drink per guest, etc) will show that you care, but that you're scrimping because of unavoidable budget restrictions.
The only time I think that it's rude not to have a cash bar, something like that, is if you go all out on everything else - and I mean all out, platinum weddings style - but don't bother to pamper your guests.
Honestly, in this day and age most of us are on a budget. Your wedding is a day for people to celebrate with you, and not having the budget for a lavish soiree shouldn't stop you from celebrating with them.
Have you looked into serving just beer and wine, instead of hard alcohol? That might be a cheaper option than a full open bar...
What about just offering wine or domestic beer for an hour or two than go to cash? Do you have any budget to wiggle with or are you stuck?
I dont think its tacky. We are doing a cash bar but we are also supplying our guests with champagne for the toast and 1 drink (our signature drink) during cocktail hour.
Everyone can crucify me here...I don't care. My feelings on the situation are you can do whatever you want. I vote you do a cash bar. It's way over pretty much anyone's budget to do an open bar. We are doing a cash bar, for one, it would be WAY over budget otherwise. For two, most of our family will get entirely sh*t-faced and I am not willing to deal with drunk out of control immature family. (yes I realize people will be drunk...but it won't be on my dime) I'm not supporting the alochol problem my family (or his) has. If people don't like it, too bad.
I think you need to do what is best for your and your budget. I have never had a problem with cash bars, and simply viewed it as a nice gesture if a couple hosted an open bar. But I certainly never expected it.
I didn't vote. I don't believe a cash bar is "tacky" however, I'm NOT a fan.
As a guest, I'd prefer that the bride & groom do what they can afford. If you can't afford to serve alcohol: have a dry reception. People will drink whatever is provided to them... :)
I can tell I've had a stressful week: thought you wrote "fish bar". I think it's completely unreasonable for people to expect you to buy them liquor! I don't think it's necessary and it is very expensive. If you want to provide a little beer or wine, okay, but if you just want sparkling cider, punch, water and tea/coffee, what is the problem? Maybe add in some nicer sodas too like Jones. One he proposes, I hope to do that: no alcohol but some good sodas like Izzy or Jones.
I don't think cash bars are tacky. We couldn't afford a full bar so made a deal with the bartender at the venue and we made drink tickets (which I LOVE. if you want to see pics let me know). The drink tickets are for a draft beer or house wine and everyone will get two. If anyone wants something different or more than that then they can purchase it on their own. Some people call it tacky, but I could care less :)
@bella: It's an unspoken rule in the hive... if you have cute wedding related paper products (and pics!) you MUST share them! hehe :)
As a guest, I would prefer no alcohol than to have to pay for it. Many people say that everyone drinks either beer or wine, but that is not true because many people actually don't like either of those. It's considered rude as a host to ask your guests to open their wallets for any reason, and there will likely be people who refuse to, thus only drinking your free non-alcoholic options, whatever those may be.
I don't think cash bars are tacky. I think you should do whatver you can afford. I do think you should provide something for guests to drink, though (soda, water, etc.). But for alcholic drinks, I don't think it's necessary for you to provide them for people. Like others have said, maybe you could do drink tickets if that works in your budget, if not, I wouldn't worry about it. Do what you can afford to do.
Personally, if there was only beer and wine offered at a reception and I didn't like either than i would suck it up and either buy something else or not drink. But that's just me.
Pics of my drink tickets are on their way :)
I voted for one drink per guest because that's what we're doing, but really I think whatever's in your budget is fine.
I'm providing enough wine for three drinks per person, plus one drink ticket per person. A few people have said that the people who don't drink wine are getting the short end of the stick, but the hope is that those who don't drink at all, or only drink wine might pass off their ticket and there'll be enough to go around??
In my opinion it's not my responsbility to pay for people to get trashed... and people waste so much alcohol at open bars.
I am not a fan of the cash bar, but of course do what is best for your budget.
Managing expectations is the most important part of this situation. Communicate with your guests up front and you will find your life to be much easier. I would not write "cash bar" on an invitation. However, you can put it on your wedding website and also have your bridal party spread the word. Your guests will then be clued in they should make an extra stop at the ATM beforehand.
As a person who never has cash on them, I would appreciate a heads up if I were attending your wedding :)
They're thick like business cards and I love them! They were really inexpensive and they look really nice. I purchased them from zazzle. Sorry for the poor quality cell phone picture! I can't find my camera :(
drinkticket.jpg (26 KB, 39 downloads) 2 years old
If someone wants to get trashed, paying their own way will not stop them. Look at the countless people at bars every night. It's very unfair to judge an entire group of people and say that everyone is irresponsible and not capable of making a mature decision on their own based on a couple bad apples who are not responsible enough to know when to stop.
I will be having a cash bar simply because I just cannot fit an open bar into my budget. Where I'm from it is more strange to have an open bar than a cash bar. Especially since the prices for drinks can be quite ridiculous! I know that no one in my or my FI's family would expect an open bar. I am considering tickets for guests to have at least one drink on us, but again it can get quite expensive depending on how many guest you have. I got lucky with my venue, they have VERY reasonable prices for drinks so most people will likely be ok with paying for them.
personally if you cant have at least a limited open bar - just dont have alcohol at all. i think its bad taste to have guests come out of their pocket at a hosted event like a wedding. same goes for housewarming parties and cocktail parties.
people will drink what is available though.
however if you DO decide to do a cash bar PLEASE let the guest know ahead of time, or at least have a venue with access to an ATM or bartenders that take credit cards. i have been to a couple weddings where they didnt tell us it was cash bar, and i dont bring cash to weddings so i didnt have the option of buying a drink because i didnt have $$ with me.
so just a thought either way.
bottom line though its your wedding do what you want.
ive been to a wedding where the bride/groom had a open bar and within 5 mins it was all tapped out. the parents went ahead and placed more money towards the open bar and then in 15 mins it was tapped out. I saw many guests taking advantage by going back up to the bar and getting more drinks and by the time dinner was to start a lot of the guests had at least 4 drinks with them. Thats why i personally wont be having a open bar because i feel that they are going to take advantage. Im sure your guests will understand about the cash bar.
Personally, as a guest, I wouldn't really care if alcohol was served or not so I really don't think an open bar is worth going over budget for. I think that whether you should have a cash bar depends on your guests. Would they be happy with non-alcoholic drinks or would they be dissappointed without alcohol? If they would be unhappy then I would guess that a cash bar would be better than not having any.
At the same time, the alcohol should not be the reason they are attending. If it isn't there, due to cost or any other concerns, guests should be able to enjoy themselves the entire time without it. If someone truly cannot have a good time without alcohol, they have issues to deal with on their own time and are better off staying home. Alcohol is nice to have but it's not a requirement and people skip it all the time with no problems.
I have zero problems with a cash bar. However, they're not all that uncommon around here - it's just not a big deal. Some people have very strong opinions on them, though! If it's something that's common in your circle of friends, I wouldn't feel bad about it.
Where I'm from, it's the norm to provide beer and wine, and if people want liquor, they pay for it. His parents (who are paying) weren't interested in a signature drink or anything, so we are just doing the beer and wine package.
I would agree with the other people who said it depends on your guests. Go with whatever you know your group of guests will be comfortable with while also respecting your budget. The drink tickets are cute idea, too!
I don't get the whole cash bar = tacky thing. I guess part of it is that I'm not a big drinker and the other part is that I don't go to weddings so I can eat food and get smashed. I know a lot of people say that it's because it looks "cheap" or whatever but I think it's up to the bride and groom.
I guess part of this is that I have some family/friends that are recovering alcoholics. One of my good friends from college was in recovery, 6 years sober, and she had her wedding. They had a cash bar in the lobby (away from the reception) and kindly asked people to pay for their own drinks and indulge in the lobby if they felt the need. She felt this was an appropriate compromise rather than having an open bar or no bar at all. People at the wedding openly criticized her to the point that halfway through the reception she was in the bathroom crying with me and her mother trying to coax her out. Needless to say it kinda ruined her wedding.
I just don't see what the big deal is. Even if you do think it's "tacky" it's not your wedding and you shouldn't be there for just the booze.
I don't think it's tacky. I think you should do whatever fits in your budget. My mother is paying for the wine during the meal, but she wasn't happy about an open bar. We're having a relatively short wedding (no dance), and many of our guests aren't drinking because of religious reasons/pregnant/health problems. Therefore, I don't think an open bar is going to cost us a huge amount which is why we are doing it. You need to do what is best for you and your budget!
i think that it's wrong for people to pass judgement on others and call what someone else does "tacky" You have to do whatever is right for you and for your wedding. Your guests will understand that there is no reason why you should go into debt for them to have a drink. If they want to drink, they can pay for it.
They are very common where I'm from (well, a mix of cash bar and beer/wine) so I say go for it!
I vote cash bar. I can honestly say that I've never been to a wedding with an open bar. It's just not common where I am from. We're having wine on the tables, but that's a lot more than most people do.
open bar is common where I am but I did go to one wedding where it was cash bar. I know some people had a problem with it but hey, the bride and groom were on a very limited budget, and I understood that, so be it! They had a couple bottles of wine on every table and I was good with that.
Go for the cash bar, if that's what people complain about after the fact then they should have realized they were at a wedding to celebrate a couple, not how much booze they could drink!
p.s. yes make sure you note on your invitation that it's a cash bar, or no one will come with any money
Cash bar is common here too.
We're doing a toonie bar. $2 a drink but the hotel charges $5 so FI's parents will pick up the tab at the end of the night.
My answer isn't here! :) I don't think a cash bar is tacky at all, but I'm not a fan of "drink ticket"-style limited host bars--they remind me of school events and networking meetings and it doesn't scream "party" to me (I acknowledge that this is strictly personal preference!)
In an ideal world, you can host the open bar for your guests. Where budget constraints prevent that, in the second ideal world, you can host wine and beer... nobody needs to be provided with a specific kind of alcohol. In the third instance, I would make sure to have a few bottles of wine on each table (about 1 bottle for every 4-5 people) so that you have provided a drink with dinner, and a cash bar for any additional drinks your guests want. Is that a possibility?
For every aspect of your wedding you should do what you can afford and what you're comfortable with. Unless a cash bar is the norm where you're from, though, just realize that having a cash bar will be one of the elements guests will remember most. That being said, not one of us is going to have a wedding that absolutely every guest agrees with every details.; the people that matter will (quickly) get over it. Don't stress yourself or put yourself in debt over something!
Ok so maybe I wouldn't call a cash bar "tacky", but I do agree that I NEVER have cash on me! I def recommend if you do decide to go with the cash bar to let all your guests know so they can plan to bring some extra cash if they want to drink! I don't think you should put yourself in debt to have people drink. I do like the idea of mabe just serving beer and wine if that is in your budget..I hear it's a lot cheaper! But all and all people will have fun with or without drinking..
Yeah, I wouldn't call a cash bar tacky because I myself considered doing it. I was going to pay for a few drinks. I ended up finding a venue that allowed myself to use my own outside caterer that allowed me to buy my alcohol. So it was so much cheaper. I was going to have to pay 3K on alcohol for an open beer and wine bar.. but because I got an outside caterer, I had to pay only $900 in beer, liquor and wine. I had a ton more alcohol than any open bar would have. I even had bartenders.
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