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When it comes to registries, I just like knowing that the money I spend is going toward something that the couple actually wants.
For some reason this seems more acceptable to me than other "money" registries.
Shoot, if people can do honeymoon registries, why can't you do a photography registry? I think it's a great idea and you should go for it! :) As a guest, I would be happy to contribute towards something that would be such a keepsake from the wedding, in fact, I would be happier doing that then buying them a bath towel or a crockpot off of a traditional recipe.
My photog offered us this as well. I thought it was kind of weird and couldn't decide if it was tacky/weird to ask for guests to contribute towards our photography. The dude thought it was awesome!
It's untraditional, but I totally wouldn't have any problems with it as a guest and in fact would be excited to contribute to a bride and groom's photography. It's a special gift that you know they'll appreciate instead of some random pot or pan.
Personally, I think this might be too close to crossing the line when it comes to what's appropriate for a registry. After this...then people will start registries to help contribute towards the venue/reception, etc. I don't know, it just rubs me the wrong way. I think the honeymoon is borderline, too, but atleast I can feel as thought it's something they would enjoy and it is more like a gift then contributing towards the wedding photographer.
i guess i'm old fashion when it comes to registries. i feel like wedding gifts are supposed to go to helping the bride and groom start their new home together, not to help pay for the wedding.
Yeah, I have to side with the "old schoolers" - I feel like it could be taken the wrong way. While I'm all for getting a photographer that you love and whose work you'll love for years, you should do that within your budget. I mean, I would be turned off immediately by the idea of it, because it comes too close to basically paying for your spot at the wedding.
That said, it's your call! If you think it's right for you, then go for it.
Thanks for all the comments, I do appreciate hearing both sides. Just wanna add a few thoughts...
My BF and I had a housewarming party when we first moved in together and got a lot of the traditional "start your new home together" gifts. We honestly just don't have the room or need for many more typical registry items.
@cinemaparadiso - In the area I live people always get actual gifts for the shower but its almost always cash or a check for the reception which is why I feel either way guests sometimes feel like they're paying for their spot. I realize though this totally depends on what is the norm where you live.
@2010bride2bee - I hear what you're saying about money registries. I guess my thinking is we'll have the physical photo to display after the wedding unlike if we asked for contributions towards the venue, etc.
My thinking is this is something closer family would be inclined to contribute towards, the same people who would want to display our wedding pics in their home. Maybe I can tell everyone about the traditional registries and only let some family members know about the photography registry.
Oh, I see what you mean. Well, it's kind of the same here, I guess... I don't know. I think the family idea is a good one, but I want to point out that they may actually want a picture/pictures in return, which would mean you'd be paying to print the pics for them, too, unless that was the plan all along! :) Good luck with making a decision!
We are in the same position. We are both 32, bought our home and have been living on our own since we are 17/18...there really isn't anything we need, but I'm going to dig deep trying to find things for our registry that we may not absolutely need, but perhaps we wouldn't necessarily buy for ourselves...If our guests prefer to give $ after viewing our registry (or nothing at all, I'm fine with that too, really), that's their choice (and in my family/area it is common for them to do so), but atleast we can then decide what to do with the $ as opposed to feel like we are asking them to contribute to X, Y or Z part of the wedding. Does that make sense? I don't know, I get where you are coming from because it's likely they will give you cash anyway, but I just feel like a photography registry is like blantantly asking for the dough. lol. I'd skip it if it were me. You can always take that $ and replenish your accoutn after paying the photographer, if that's really what you want to use it for.
I would totally contribute to a photog registry! Our photog is pretty pricey also, so I understand that you want some monetary help with the costs! :)
@cinemaparadiso- Yay, I'm so glad someone recognized my avatar!! :) My BF and I are big spongebob fans and it had a part in us being together (long story lol)
But yes we'd definitely plan on giving people prints. We're also planning on having a very small destination ceremony as part of an annual family vacation so I'd probably do a dvd slideshow/video for those closer family members. I just did this for BF's cousins wedding and everyone loved it.(It was a destination Disney World wedding)
@2010BridetoBee - I totally get what you're saying, if they're gonna give cash we can just use that to pay for photography anyway. I think part of it is the appeal to have the money beforehand. Its tough knowing we might not be able to do something unless we put it on credit when by the month after the wedding with 1 more paycheck we could have it covered. And I feel like once you start charging stuff, its a slippery slope. I think part of it is also I am dreading the part of the shower where everyone just sits around and watches you open gifts. I find it so boring as a guest and I hate being the center of attention. And not that I'm complaining but theres no telling my BF's family no gifts. They are much better off than my family and extremely generous. I just wish I could skip that part. Anyway now I'm just rambling lol.
Long story short, I still have no idea what I wanna do. Guess I'll just wait til the BF finally makes it official and I can talk to all the family about it.
Humm...I don't know about this. I sort of think it's wrong. Pretty soon people are going to set up registries to pay for their entire weddings. My family, I know, would be horrified if I did this, and I would never do it..That said, I'm sure there are lots of things I'm doing that a lot of people don't like. I guess it just depends.
I think if you want to register for photography, then that is fine, but I probably wouldn't contribute to it. I'd rather just give you a cash gift.
I;m with the old fashioned set. I would be annoyed if a guest asked me to pay for part of the wedding because, well, I'm supposed to be a guest. It feels very much like I'm being asked to contribute to, say, the cost of my catered dinner.
I think it's fine. They are your registries. You can do what you want. if people don't like it, they don't have to contribute to it and they can use a more traditional registry or do cash or whatever.
I think there is a reason that more non-traditional type registries are popping up these days and there is a trend away from the traditional - basically the old school notion that the couple has not lived together and will be making their first home together after marriage is no longer valid in many cases, and also the economy is a piece of s**t and people need money. This is the way of the world now and I think these new types of registries reflect that. That's just my 2 cents on it, anyway.
I like this idea a lot, especially if you're combining it with traditional registries. I think if you're registering for items already, there's no harm in letting people to contribute to something that's important to you and that you want.
I've realized over the past couple weeks reading boards like this that I am just flat out uncomfortable asking for things..anything. I can handle a regular registry because people are used to it now, I guess, but registering for anything else is just too uncomfortable for me and I don't like it. I'm seeing that I'm in the minority here, though...
The more i thought about this-I would rather put it on a credit card, and then pay it off with the cash you get from the wedding if you are counting on your guests to pay for the photography. You're basically telling people you can't afford a photographer. At least if it's on a credit card, it's no ones business except yours.
as long as they're giving you the same pricing.. why not? It does seem a little odd, but that's the nature of registering.
I feel like I might get flamed for this response and I certainly don't mean to offend anyone... but would it be that bad if people set up registries to pay for their entire weddings? Its so commonplace to give money as a gift nowadays that I don't see it as a huge difference. You could give them cash and it could be used for anything, including paying off next months cable bill. If you contribute to a registry its kinda nice to know where the money went. You can walk into the wedding thinking hey I helped make this happen. Personally I'd rather know that my money actually went to good use rather than getting them a knife set that collects dust in the corner of a cabinet. The argument usually is that it makes the couple seem greedy, but in a way all registries can be seen that way. I think the most important thing is how its presented. If the couple is presenting it in a way that the guests feel like they have to pay to get in then I completely think that is wrong. You can't harass your guests to contribute and I think its best to mix it with traditional registries so people have a choice. When it comes to weddings we have so many traditions, but the world has changed quite a bit since these traditions started. I feel like its rare to have a couple who both live with their parents, don't already have kids,get engaged brides family foots the bill and then they buy a house and live happily ever after, but thats who a traditional registry is set up for. I'm not saying it doesn't work, but its not ideal for every couple. The most important factor is presenting it as an option rather than a requirement.
ok stepping off my soapbox now and setting up my flame shield, lol.
sorry if I repeated anything in my last post, took me a while to write so I didn't see the recent comments.
@flamingred - I definitely see what you mean and why people might think that although its not the case. Our thoughts are if people contribute to photography maybe we can splurge a little on something else, it wasn't necessarily because we can't afford photography. It just happened that our photographer offered us this option and we figured hey we don't need much of the traditional stuff, this might allow us to have the ceremony we really want.
Multiple people have mentioned they'd be offended if they were asked to contribute. I would never ask my guests to do that, I am simply offering it as a suggestion. I would never put it on my invite. I do also realize that no matter what some people will feel weird about it which is why it would only be one option.
I'm old-fashioned about this type of stuff as well. I bring a registry gift to bridal showers and cash to a wedding. I don't contribute to honeymoon registries or anything like that.
That said, I think it's fine to offer it as long as you give another option as well. That way, people like me can do the old school thing, and people who are so inclined can contribute to your photography.
I think registering for guests to pay for the actual wedding makes it seem like you can't afford it on your own, which is definitely not the mood you want to create at a party you are hosting.
I don't see a problem with this, but then we were a couple who had a honeymoon registry. 
I think it's nice to have a "traditional" registry as well for guests who are uncomfortable with these new types of registries (which is what we did), but if there's no need for the traditional registry then don't have it. If a guest wants to get you a gift, a registry is there to help them - they aren't being forced to get something from there if they're uncomfortable with it.
i think it's actually okay, especially if your family knows that you have everything else. you can say something cute like we have everything for our home except pictures, we would be honored if you could help us decorate our home with the pictures from the day that our lives became one... and then make for dang sure that you have pictures of all of your guests, especially the ones that helped pay.
Thanks everyone for your comments. At this point I'm going to wait until we talk to our family. I think it was just the idea that if people have a non-traditional registry then others assume you're greedy, poor, or that paying is a requirement that got me all ranty.(yep ranty is a word, i just made it up lol) Theres a lot of bridezillas out there that give those kinds of registries a bad name. I just wanted to make a point that I think it can be done tastefully and in time I think registries will evolve.
@crebre80 - I love how you worded that!
Perhaps I'm just a massive stick in the mud, but the idea of paying for anything associated with the wedding itself really rubs me the wrong way. Alternative registries at places like REI or Amazon don't bother me, but otherwise...
I guess my problem is that in the case of registering for a wedding vendor I'm being asked to pay for a party to which I have been invited as a guest. Not exactly welcoming. It also - and I realize that this sounds judgmental - strikes me as grasping. As though the couple couldn't bear to make compromises or plan a party within their means, so they're hitting up their guests to pay for essential wedding services.
And if f the knives are just going to collect dust, don't register for them!
@teaadntoast - see this is what gets me about this argument, I am absolutely not asking my guests to pay for the wedding. I'm offering it as a suggestion amongst other traditional registries. That way if someone doesn't want to contribute money there are other options or if they want to come to the wedding and give nothing but their well wishes that is absolutely fine too.
and my point about the knives is I know many people who've registered for stuff because they get all caught up in the fun of a registry but end up not using some of the stuff. I'd prefer that the couple really want everything they've registered for, even if that means photography, videography, ect.
It might strike me as a bit unusual if I saw this on someone's website or something, but it wouldn't exactly bother me. However, throughout my planning, my mom has been representing the old school/traditional voice on registries, and if she's at all indicative of other, older guests, I think they might find it offensive. Of course you're not ASKING anyone to pay for your wedding, just like you're not ASKING someone to buy anything for you off any other registry. However, I do think it might give some guests the suggestion that you are hosting a party that's beyond your means. I know that people like my mom would view this as an extravagance.
We didn't do traditional registries because we are paying for the wedding ourselves, and already have lived in a house together for 2 years. We have EVERYTHING we need and can fit. So, we registered for a few larger, non-traditional items (dyson, a new mattress) and then for our honeymoon (our travel agent provides a HM registry) and for gift cards to our photographer. On our registry page of our wedding website, we said how much we love our photographer and would like the gift cards for prints and albums and things like that. However, all that have been sent to us we've used towards our monthly payment to her. We pay $150 a month to her and definitely loved having a few months with smaller $$! The guests didn't have to know that- we thanked them for their generous gifts and it was quite thoughtful of them to check our site anyways.
My point is there are ways to phrase things so that most guests won't think you're asking for $$ straight up.
@carrie.a.s.b - you're definitely right that without asking questions, guests, especially older ones might think we're hosting a party beyond our means. I certainly don't want it to seem that way which is why I wasn't sure about doing it. As far as asking... I was only trying to make the point that asking for gifts is just as bad as asking for money so I don't understand why all of a sudden guests would feel like they have to pay for their seat.
@kjpugs - I LOVE that idea! I think that is definitely the best way to go.
on an unrelated note... this is the most comments any of my posts have ever received, maybe I should stir up a little controversy more often lol :)
@MissDoodles, I understand what you mean, but registering for what is, to most, an essential wedding service carries the implication that, if guests don't pay up, the bride and groom will be left without professional photos of their day. I can see that leading to resentment amongst some guests (self included) who feel that it's more appropriate for the couple to either adjust their photogrpahy expectations or compromise on other wedding expenses than ask the guests to pony up. I think this is particularly treu when many or most of the guests have taken on the costs of their own weddings.
I was raised with the belief (which I agree with) that if you can't afford something, it is not your guests' responsibility at all to pay for a dime of it. You scale back to whatever you can afford and you cut something else that is not necessary to be able to afford said service/product. It's rude to even consider asking guests to pay for any of those things.
Is it just a registry that people can donate money towards? Or like a honeymoon registry, can people actually buy specific things for you. I think a lot of my family would be open to buying my FI and I a nice 11x14 picture of us from the photographer as opposed to an empty $100 picture frame from a "traditional" registry.
I think its all in how you word/present it.
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I was just on the MS Luxury Weddings Expo and the reps there were absolutely against registries that ask guests to contribute money instead of an actual item. They were quite snarky about it too. My photographer offered the option to set up a wedding photography registry online and I was thinking of doing this. I would also have 1 or 2 other traditional registries like Crate&Barrel and Bed Bath&Beyond. I kinda liked this idea because in NYC photography is so expensive and the end results can actually be shared. I can see friends choosing not to contribute to it but maybe family since they would be able to display the photos. I've also been living with my boyfriend for the past year and a lot of our housewarming gifts covered the typical registry stuff.
Whether you agree or disagree, please let me know your thoughts!