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What do you think of letting guests choose their seats?
I actually like the idea for a more casual and intimate wedding and I'm wondering what others think.
I personally don't love it. I find it kind of stressful to try to hurry and get a table with friends/date/family. At one wedding I attended, there were a number of friends that I hadn't seen in a long time. We tried to get a table together but ended up getting split up all over the reception. That being said, I think if you're having a small reception where pretty much everyone knows each other, it could work out great. I'm just not a fan of them at, for example, 200 person weddings.
I think that depending on the number of people, it's a great time/headache saver for you!!
I am going with that option. Less that I have to worry about :) Our wedding is both formal and pretty big, but I don't wanna have to deal with all the extras that come with planning the seating. Everyone can figure it out.
We're planning to do this. I like the idea for a more casual wedding (and because I am lazy). A little nervous, but I like it. My fiance is dead set on it - I'm pretty sure he would flat out refuse to have a wedding with assigned tables. I agree that it's not a good idea with very large weddings, or a lot of guests that don't know each other. We're mostly going to be inviting people in crowds that know each other, though, so I'm not too worried about people not having anywhere to sit. Also we're planning a looooong reception, so if people end up eating without some of their friends, they'll have plenty of time to catch up.
I'm not a fan. I don't hate weddings that have it, but I prefer not to deal with it.
The weddings where they've had open seating has become a race amongst many guests to get the "best" seats. If you don't know anyone, then you don't know who would be best to sit with (as the bride & groom you may know who of your friends/family they would best interact with...they're not going to have a clue). If you do know people, then you know who you'd want to sit with...but what if the tables don't seat enough for your whole friend group? Particularly if it's only too big by a person or two who then has to go sit by themselves with people they don't know.
These aren't huge issues, and mature guests should be able to deal, but it's definitely nice to have someone who knows the people and the reception space put some thought into where to put everyone. It takes a potentially confusing, awkward situtation out of the mix.
Note...planned out seating is only really helpful if you actually put some thought into it! I've also been to weddings where the seating was assigned but totally not thought about. Like when I was in my early 20s at a wedding by myself, was very close to the groom's entire huge extended family and knew many of his friends, and was seated at a table with 3 other couples who I'd never met who were in their 60s. Fun. :-p
It definitely depends on how many guests you have. I'm not a fan because at my friend's wedding last summer they did open seating and my friends and I were bridesmaids and were doing pics after the ceremony and by the time we got done there were just scattered seats everywhere! They put a "Reserved" sign on two tables for the wedding party and dates but some a**holes just took them off the tables and sat there! The bride had to get get one of the staffers to kick people out of those two tables. It was a total mess. That being said, if it is an intimate affair where most people know each other, it wouldn't be the same kind of disaster.
I'm going to do assigned, but I'm having 200 guests. I just have heard other brides talk about chairs from other tables being taken to add to other tables, and even people standing! because they didn't want to sit where there were open seats. I think it would be easier for my guests to know there is a place reserved for them. I think non assigned would be easier, though, for a smaller wedding. How many guests are you having?
Eh, I think there are problems either way. Open seating would probably work better if you have a well-mixed group of people, so there are connections between social groups, and the tables can accomodate larger party sizes. I can see it working quite well for farm style table arrangements.
I will add that even if the seats are assigned, the guests still have to find the seat, they could still disregard the seating chart, and they may not be completely happy with who they're sitting with anyway. Can't make everyone happy. Such is life!
I don't think that just allowing guests to find their own seat is a very good idea because for some of them, it might be a little uncomfortable, especially the older guests and there may be some guests that get left out of a table and end up with people they don't know. We are going to have escort cards assigning them to a table, but not a seat.
I think it might be okay with a small, intimate wedding where everyone knows each other. However our wedding will have over 200 guests, and since a lot of our friends don't know anyone, I don't want to stress them out by making them find their own seats.
Im going with open seating. I don't think I've been to too many weddings that were assigned. Me personally, if I were a guest, I would rather pick where Im sitting. Whenever I have gone to a wedding thats open seating, I've never been nervous or stresses about it as a guest.
I'd be afraid to do it. I definitely don't want to have to worry about creating the seating chart, but there seems to be more cons than pros. The pros being, less that you'll have to deal with and no one will feel slighted if they're not sat with who they want to be sat with. But the cons are that if a table fills up, there won't be enough room for everyone to sit with everyone that they want. Can you imagine a mad dash to get a table in an area they want? My biggest issue is where the people choose to sit more so than who they sit with. I know where I want my family to sit and where the bridal party should be seated. If another group took those table, I'd be pissed! And I know that I don't want the elderly relatives near the DJ, but what happens if they have no choice?
I used to think it was okay until I went to a wedding this past summer and it was terrible with open seating. After the ceremony it was like someone shot a gun and said "go" and everyboyd got up but didn't really know where to go. It was an outdoor wedding and the tables were spread really far apart and it was just awkward. FI and I ended up at a table with the bride's grandma and crazy aunt. It felt like these two women should have been sitting with the family that they don't get to see very often.
We're not assigning tables or anything, but we're also having a pretty small gathering with less than 70 people. I'm not thinking people will stay sitting for long anyway- theres a ton of mingling room and other places to go... There will be 3 distinct groups (our college friends, my west coast family, his mid-west family...) but I don't think it will be a problem... But each situation is different, think about who you're inviting and your venue and everything :) There are definitely pros to seating charts (people get to sit with people they know and/or the chance to meet people they otherwise wouldn't have been able to) but it depends on the group.
We had open seating for our wedding. We had less than 50 guests though.
I was trying to decide if I wanted a seating plan at my wedding and then I attended my uncles wedding last month and when I initally walked in to the room a panic swept over me .. where should I sit - the room is almost full - where are people I know and are there chairs left there - that moment made me decide that I am totally doing a seating plan - but only saying what table you are sitting at - not what chair to plant your arse in. My wedding is on the small side with 100 guests.
I'm not crazy about it. We're having a super-casual, laid back reception too, and we considered doing open seating, but I've been a guest at open seating receptions, and I didn't like it.
One time, we didn't know many other people at the wedding and it was very awkward trying to find a place to sit, asking strangers if we could sit in the empty seats and being told that they were saved. The other time, our friends all tried to sit together but there weren't enough chairs at the table and one couple had to sit across the room with strangers.
Basically, I felt really awkward both times. And if I hadn't had a date with me at the first table, I'd have been sitting completely alone with strangers. Yikes!
I was planning on doing open seating UNTIL I was reminded and started thinking about the logistics. We plan on 150 people coming but are inviting 190. This had me planning on 15 tables at 10 people a table. My FI pointed out that was risky for a few reasons because more people might come than we thought and also, what if a family of 4 walks in a bit late and can't find 4 seats together.
So I think I've decided to have Table assignments and not seat assignments. I don't think it will make things more formal at all and this way no one has to feel they have to rush. My mom always said never do it because you end up having holes for people who said yes and then didn't show but we are tight for space so I think we will be fine. That does bring up the issue though - how do you deal with people who RSVP'd no and then show up? They won't have an escort card. Does that ever happen or is it the other way around?
i think it works for a small wedding (like 50 guests) but a bigger wedding it gets crazy. I was a guest at a wedding (prob 150 guests) 2 years ago, i went with my parents and FI.
there was open seating and as soon as the reception doors open people were scrambling for seats.. it was choas. We couldn't find space for all 4 of us at one table!! my dad had to sit by himself with people he didn't know...we all were not happy.
table assignments? yes please!! seat assignments? not totally necessary to avoid the choas :D
thats just my own personal experience though!
I was invited to a coworker's wedding and it was supposed to be arranged seating. I was relieved, as I only knew a couple other girl's from work that she also invited. After the cocktail hour we proceeded into the dining area and it was open seating. All the tables were taken so we were left standing around feeling VERY awkward. So if it's a mixed crown where not everyone knows each other, I'm for arranged seating!
I think it's a very bad idea unless you are having an extremely small wedding where everyone already knows each other. But still, even in that situation I think it's a bad idea.
I've been to several weddings and large rehearsal dinners without assigned seating and it was an absolute MESS every time. This is what happens. Some people know ahead of time that there isn't assigned seating. These are usually close family and friends, people involved in the wedding planning. These people rush in early and save the best seats, which is fine, but there is still ALWAYS a mad rush to the tables after cocktail hour and it's like musical chairs. And like others have said, you will have people left by themselves and scattered and as a result it will be awkward.
For example, the weddings I was a BM in and there was no assigned seating, I was stuck socializing or taking pictures/running last minute errands and arrived to the ballroom last. You better believe the only seats left were at tables with either the kids or the eldest relatives and no two seats together for me and FI. So of course we had to pull up an extra chair to some awkward table where we were either older than everyone by 20 years or younger than everyone by 50 years. Not fun.
Don't make your guests deal with the stress of unassigned seating. Most likely people won't complain to you on your wedding day to be nice, but I guarantee at least most people will have an awkward/stressful situation finding seats. Believe me when I say there is a reason for assigned seats, not only to allow higher ranking friends and family a better view of the bride & groom, but to eliminate stress and awkwardness at a formal affair.
We did open seating at our wedding. We had about 110 people and it worked out well. I think it works for casual weddings. Ours was outdoors in the courtyard of a bed and breakfast so it was both intimate and casual. We reserved a few tables for the few older guests we had and for the bridal party. And many of our guests knew people at the wedding, we didn't have any cases of a couple or single person coming who didn't know someone else at the wedding--so I think that's what made it work.
We are having a family-only type of wedding, but his family doesn't know mine! So, instead of having seating charts, we're just going to do a sign on each table, "Bride's Family" "Wedding Party" "Groom's Family" etc... That way it won't be awkward for them to find a place to sit, but they can still choose.
i'm a super casual person. i'd like to put a up a big sign and say "sit where you wanna sit" but i think this actually can make people uncomfortable - what if you don't know anyone??
i'd assign tables but not seats.
We were going to not do assigned seating but then two things happened.
1. We decided to have a plated meal and
2. We went to my cousin's wedding where everyone meandered around trying to find seating together and getting confused at the "reserved" signs. It was all said and done in about five minutes, but still that was an awkward five minutes.
OH and one more thing.
3. FMIL and my Crazy-but-we-love-her Grandma are very similar in personality. We're seating them next to each other!
I don't like it at all. The last time I went to a wedding that didn't have assigned seating I had to sit with a bunch of people I didn't know. All my friends were at a different table together. We had gotten there too late to get a sport with anyone we knew. I think everyone felt very uncomfortable and couldn't wait to leave.
The was a small wedding maybe 60 people.
I think it's really awkward for the guests. Yes, it saves you the hassle of thinking about who to seat everyone with, but it means that groups are formed half-hazardly and some people are left out.
I was against the idea of assigned seating… at first. I had gone to a friend’s wedding who did not have assigned seating and it worked out just fine. Looking back though, I think this only worked because the venue was huge in comparison to the number of people that came (they rented out an old theater) so there was no awkwardness of having to find people to sit with. When I think back, all of the weddings I’ve been to that didn’t have assigned seating were in a similar situation, where you had a wide range of options of where to sit. I think for non-traditional or huge venues that would be fine but beyond that I can see how it can be stressful to guests to not have a seating chart.
I think we will go instead with table assignments. That will ensure something of a balance and maybe avoid chaos.
I think that it depends more on how well guests know each other than it does on how big or small the wedding is. At a friend's shower recently, there were ~60 guests. Tables were round and set for 9. Yeah, my two friends and I still ended up sitting two together and one across a table because everyone sat down in their little groups, and if you were standing around talking like we were, you had to scramble to get seats together. And of course it meant getting stuck next to a girl we knew from high school but weren't friends with then and definitely would not be friends with now -- awkward. Before this shower, I had not thought that seating was too big a deal, but now that I see how it can be awkward for even the smallest groups, I am definitely going to take it more seriously. Also, I think of it this way -- how good a time the guests will have is LARGELY dependent on whom they are able to spend the event with.
I'm not crazy about the idea. My BF and I went to a friend's wedding last fall that had open seating. I knew a couple of the bride's friends from past parties/events at her house, but only casually, and they were all BFFs. They were also really the only folks in our age group there (most of the other guests were family). When it came time to be seated, they moved two tables together to accomodate their large group and all crammed around it. If there had been room, I might have asked "do you mind if we join you?" but as it was, the two tables they pushed together were full and none of them asked us to join. At that point, almost all of the other tables were full. BF and I found the last table with any open seats and ended up sitting all alone. Then, the photographer started using our table to store all of her gear on during the meal. It was extremely awkward and uncomfortable and we felt very out of place.
One of my very dear friends did this at her wedding. I was her MOH. After the cocktail hour there was this mass sprinting of people into the reception room. My mother refers to it as "The Amazing Race." We didn't know about this and lingered in the cocktail room. When we got into the reception room, all the tables were taken by the GROOM's family -- as his mother knew and told all her family to RUN! We didn't know what to do. When it came time to eat, (it was buffet) we got our plates and asked the waitstaff what to do. They showed us this small back room to eat in. I went in with my mom and sat down, along with 15 people from the bride's side. The problem was that we couldn't see anything going on, nor could we hear the music. There was another room, that had a conference table, that sat 12 people and was used only for the GROOM's co-workers-- she said it was reserved for them. I think open seating could work if the reception is small, and there is adequate room where everyone can see one another and truly feel a part of the wedding.
Thats what we are doing! I have actually never even thought of have place settings for people! Only one table will be reserved for our parents, and of course the head table :)
I plan to do open seating, but thats b/c I am aiming for casual and small guest count. Larger weddings - its a must b/c then there are fams that may not get to sit together and confusion....
I spent hours working on assigned seating and made a beautiful seating chart.
Fast forward to the day before the wedding... we had 12 people call and say they weren't coming... most of them all sitting at the same table. The seating chart was already finished and it was just a disaster.
I threw it away.
We had about 100 guests and everyone sat with their friends and family. We had 2 extra tables just in case and it worked out perfectly no one was left out or unhappy. I know because I visited every table and everyone was sitting with someone they knew.
I hate the idea! A few years ago my step-brother got married and probably had around 250-300 guests. The reception hall was small and it had long tables and was open seating. Well of course since we were family, we were the last to arrive because of pictures. So, me, my sister, my mom, and step-father got 4 seats together in the last table farthest away from everything. We were also the last table to go up to the buffet line. Let's just say the food pickings were extremely slim and everything was pretty much gone by the time we got up there. We still talk about this and how ridiculous it was that they didn't at least assign immediate family a table.
I'm having over 200 guests and it's a plated dinner so I definitely plan on having assigned tables and seating guests that know each other together.
i went to a wedding in december that was open seating, and it was a horrendous, stressful, socially awkward 5 minutes trying to find a place to sit with people we knew (plus, the wedding was in south america, so most the guests only spoke Spanish, and my family only speaks English...) so yeah. i'm a big fan of assigned tables.
@Bella: I think it worked for you because you had the extra tables so people could spread out.
I'm not a fan. My sister did it and it was a mess.
BUT I think for it to work correctly you can't have exactly the amount of seats you need or groups will end up getting split up. I heard there some kind of formula for working out how many extra tables you need based on the number of people present.
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