Post # 1
Fiance and I are totally over the wedding nonsense – so a few weeks ago, he suggested that we just throw an engagement party, show up in our wedding gear and get married. Personally, I like the idea – it looks like it’ll be cheaper, there will be less opportunities for family to have ‘input’ (which has been driving me insane!), and people will come expecting a casual, laid-back engagement party, so (hopefully) won’t have all the big, formal expectations that they’ve got for our wedding!
Anyway, what do you guys think?
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’d rather elope, and then throw the kind of party you wanted as your engagement party for your reception. It can be as laid back and expectation-less as you want that way!
Post # 4
Trust me, I’d rather elope too, but it’s important to fiance that his family (especially his grandparents) are present, and his grandmother is in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank, so travelling anywhere for a wedding really isn’t an option for her
Post # 5
Personally I like it and would be suprised and happy for you but a lot more people will blow off an engagement party invite than a wedding invite. I think that is something to consider.
If you think that there is no way that the people you can’t see yourselves getting married without would miss it then I say yes!
Post # 6
I think if this is what you want to do, then that’s cool, and go for it.
I also think that if you’re doing this to make sure the important people are there to see you exchange vows (like grammy and her oxygen tank) you’re going to need to make sure they don’t skip the engagement party. (Especially the older folks that may not feel up to attending every bridal event and figure they’ll be at the wedding.)
If you’re doing this because the input is making you nuts, can you just play it closer to the vest and not discuss planning with the people that are likely to try and take over? (“That’s a good idea! We’ll look into it,” is a useful phrase.)
Post # 7
If your families at the type to get involved and want input, will a surprise wedding cause drama?
Will your father/mother be annoyed because they missed the “getting ready” and last moments with their daughter? Same/same for your FI.
Will you have a professional photographer? Bridesmaids etc?
I could never do it but the whole wedding idea is important to me in all of its hardships and excitement. I kind of think that the stress of planning a wedding is important, it’s the first step in your marriage, creates boundaries for families, forms bonds within the families and gets your FI and you compromising left-right and centre. Eloping and surprise weddings are kind of a cope out to me. BUT in a lot of family or financial situations I can understand why people do it.
Post # 8
I know a few people who’ve done this – although most of them were couples who’d lived together for years & everyone just assumed that they’d never get married. Another was a couple who had a small secret DW & later had a backyard party – halfway through said “surprise, we got married!” and the party watched the video of the ceremony
I think it’s a great way to avoid drama & all the fluff that doesn’t necessarily matter (even though it’s all pretty & fun etc). My only drawback – important people not being there/trying super hard to be there cos they think it’s *just a party*…
Post # 9
Interesting idea–have never been to one but could foresee attendance issues. People generally are planners and might already have something on that weekend and not show. But if you could get around that hurdle you might be able to work it! Congrats on your getting married:)