(Closed) What do you think of surprise weddings?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’d rather elope, and then throw the kind of party you wanted as your engagement party for your reception. It can be as laid back and expectation-less as you want that way!

Post # 5
Member
8318 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Personally I like it  and would be suprised and happy for you but a lot more people will blow off an engagement party invite than a wedding invite. I think that is something to consider.

If you think that there is no way that the people you can’t see yourselves getting married without would miss it then I say yes!

Post # 6
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think if this is what you want to do, then that’s cool, and go for it.

I also think that if you’re doing this to make sure the important people are there to see you exchange vows (like grammy and her oxygen tank) you’re going to need to make sure they don’t skip the engagement party. (Especially the older folks that may not feel up to attending every bridal event and figure they’ll be at the wedding.)

If you’re doing this because the input is making you nuts, can you just play it closer to the vest and not discuss planning with the people that are likely to try and take over? (“That’s a good idea! We’ll look into it,” is a useful phrase.)

 

Post # 7
Member
3640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

If your families at the type to get involved and want input, will a surprise wedding cause drama? 

Will your father/mother be annoyed because they missed the “getting ready” and last moments with their daughter? Same/same for your FI. 

Will you have a professional photographer? Bridesmaids etc? 

I could never do it but the whole wedding idea is important to me in all of its hardships and excitement. I kind of think that the stress of planning a wedding is important, it’s the first step in your marriage, creates boundaries for families, forms bonds within the families and gets your FI and you compromising left-right and centre. Eloping and surprise weddings are kind of a cope out to me. BUT in a lot of family or financial situations I can understand why people do it. 

 

Post # 8
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I know a few people who’ve done this – although most of them were couples who’d lived together for years & everyone just assumed that they’d never get married. Another was a couple who had a small secret DW & later had a backyard party – halfway through said “surprise, we got married!” and the party watched the video of the ceremony

I think it’s a great way to avoid drama & all the fluff that doesn’t necessarily matter (even though it’s all pretty & fun etc). My only drawback – important people not being there/trying super hard to be there cos they think it’s *just a party*…

Post # 9
Member
35 posts
Newbee

Interesting idea–have never been to one but could foresee attendance issues. People generally are planners and might already have something on that weekend and not show. But if you could get around that hurdle you might be able to work it! Congrats on your getting married:)

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