Post # 1
Random point of doscussion here.
Lately for some odd reason I’ve been interested in the 19 Kids and Counting show. Not like, tuning in religiously every week desperate for new episodes, but I’ll keep it on in the background as I do chores or cook. There are some things I, surprising as I find myself quite cynical, actually like about the family/way of life and some things I loathe.
There is something I like about the ‘courting’ process. The respect and sincere desire to get to know one anothers hearts first and foremost is kind of nice.
I admire Michelle for her mothering skills and chaos/crisis handling. I’ve now seen her diffuse toddler meltdowns many times with the most amazing grace and patience I only wish to have some day.
I like the fact that Michelle and Jim Bob appear to put out a good example for the kids. They don’t sugar coat every single thing, they discipline, they teach right from wrong about how they treat other people.
I admire how they are very into charity and volunteering.
I really hate how hypocritical they can be. They don’t believe in birth control because they say God has a will and let him decide how many kids to have, yet they use fertility treatments.
All the girls in the family seem really nice, but I loathe how every single one of them are EXACTLY THE SAME. They’re literally all personality clones of one another–shy, demure, sweet, giggly.
On the same note, I pity all the kids because I feel none of them actually get a chance to be themselves because they all feel this pressure to fit into the molds of how they “should” act, or twisted visions of right and wrong. Like, at least a few statistically have to be gay, bi, or trans. They will always be hiding that.
The misogyny bothers me. They are very blatant about it being the womans’ role to cook and be a mother ASAP and always act sweet and quiet, and being “modest”. Gah, I hate that term. Like they’re basically whores if they show their knees or shoulders. Every skirt has leggings under it, every shirt has a sub-shirt under it.
As stated above, there are some things about the courting process that I like, but most of it is ridiculous. You want to be a virgin until marriage, okay. But no hugging from the front? No dancing in front of one another? 100% supervised time together, with family members officially dubbed as ‘chaperones’? It seems full-on creepy how overtly involved and concerned everyone is with each others virginity.
What do you think, Bees??
Post # 2
- Wedding: October 2014 - Brussels, Belgium
I think that fact that they’re so different and not people most of us can relate to makes them fascinating.
Post # 3
Not a fan. On many many many fronts.
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
ChicoryCreek: BIZARRE. My first employers were a husband and wife who followe the same no birth control, ultra-religious life style and I just can’t comprehend it.
Then there was this…. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/18/michelle-duggar-anti-discrimination-proposal_n_5689840.html
Post # 5
Ive also recently got into the show. I like it a lot, but when you touched on the no birth control but fertility treatments are okay, the sheer hypocrisy gets me every time. Ugh. And dont get me started on the “modesty” thing. Wanting to preserve your virginity is all well and good, but it doesn’t lessen a woman’s value not to have it.
Post # 6
I’ve actually watched the show for quite awhile and I really like it. I think its refreshing to see a family like them and their beliefs on tv as opposed to the drama filled reality shows on there nowadays. As far as the birth control is concerned, I don’t ever remember them using any kind of fertility treatments. Michelle went to the dr to determine if there were any health concerns she needed to be aware of in case they happened to get pregnant again but there was no talk of fertility treatment. (I just watched that episode today while i was cleaning so its fresh in my mind lol) As far as the kids personalities, I do see differences in all of them but maybe it isn’t so apparent to everyone. My FI and I also lean towards the ‘typical gender roles’ in the household as well so maybe that’s why it doesn’t seem as weird to me.lol
While I’m sure its not everyone’s cup of tea the way they raise their kids, it seems to be working well for them. I think instilling modesty and a respect for ones self to the extent of setting rules for dating/courting can’t hurt really. To each their own though and I know it seems odd since a majority of today’s society has abandoned that mindset but like I said, if it works for them, more power to them.
Post # 7
On the one hand, I admire their family values.
On the other hand, I feel bad that the young people in the family don’t have more choices…the opportunity to leave home for advanced education, the opportunity to really pursue careers and really date before settling down. This isn’t gender specific to the girls either. For example, Jessa’s BF/FI is scrubbing Jim Bob’s toilets, really, why isn’t he out in the real world economy building his resume?
Post # 8
ChicoryCreek: I absolutely love watching their show. A friend of mine once calculated what would happen if all 19 kids had 19 kids and then they had 19 kids, etc. Basically, the Duggars would take over the world.
I have very conflicting opinions. Sometimes I feel like they’re not doing any harm, raising their kids to be good people, etc. But then – I find some things insane. The girls wearing skirts and basically being groomed to be moms/wives, the homeschooling, the courtship is nuts, etc.
I think that before long, at least one or two, are going to want to go to college. Or come out as gay. Or change their religious beliefs, etc. I do wonder how Jim Bob and Michelle will react to that when it happens.
I do think all of the kids are sweet and well behaved, but a part of me also feels like they are being brainwashed. I also feel like Jim Bob is way into marrying his daughters off. The whole courtship thing is crazy. Side hugs and chaperones, oh boy.
I also don’t agree with them trying to get pregnant again after they lost their last child at 5 months, and their youngest daughter, Josie, almost died. To me, Michelle’s body is clearly telling her that having a child at this point is NOT okay. Just stop. You have 19 of them.
That said, I watch it every week.
Post # 9
“A friend of mine once calculated what would happen if all 19 kids had 19 kids and then they had 19 kids, etc. Basically, the Duggars would take over the world.”
This is exactly what their cult religion wants, and why all of the Quiverfull people have a ton of kids.
They’re interesting, but they’re an awful family.
Post # 10
I agree, their chosen way of life is completely interesting, but it’s not what I would want for myself or my future family.
Personally, it’s like a cult to me. I know that’s a strong word and it’s more than likely because I will never fully understand or appreciate their way of life, but it’s bizarre. All the girls do seem like they’re clones, I can’t tell them apart except for their visible age difference.
I am curious as to what they would do if one of their children was gay or rebelled against the courting rules. There’s bound to be one. I’m also waiting, waiting, for one of the kids to eventually get fed up and leave like some do in the Amish community.
I get we’re all raised differently and there are tons of definitions for what counts as a family, but this is definitely not the cultural norm in North America.
I always giggle when they talk about modesty because if you have 19 children, modest pretty much flies out the window Even though most women consider birth and reproductive health to be separate from their religious/moral beliefs and values.
Post # 11
ChicoryCreek: I think people in this country should be able to live however they want without persecution.
Personally, I think their beliefs are totally insane and pretty harmful. They are Quiverfulls, which is intentionally not mentioned on the show. Look into what they teach and believe, it’s a very extreme patriarchal fundamentalist Christian group.
Post # 12
I think it’s a little bizarre. I read an article today about how he reads all their text messages and tells them that doing their hair and makeup is necessary in order to glorify God. A father should be father, not a micromanager. Just my thoughts.
Post # 13
ChicoryCreek: I actually do like the family, but don’t watch the show religiously or anything. I did want to clarify one thing in your post (I haven’t read the comments, so I apologize if this has already been stated). Michelle did see a fertility specialist but it was only to see what was going on with her body and whether she would ever naturally conceive again. There was never a mention of using any type of treatment to help her conceive again.
Post # 14
weatherbug: Lol your comment made me lol. I scratch my head throughout the entire show, but still manage to turn it on every week to watch!
Post # 15
ChicoryCreek: Interesting topic for a post. I started watching randomly recently as well and while they seem like nice people……I really cant get over Michelle trying for more babies at her age when it CLEARLY RISKS THE BABIES (she had a miscarriage at 26 weeks with the last one. Ugh.).