What do you think of this invitation wording??

posted 3 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Do you like the invitation wording
    Yes : (5 votes)
    9 %
    No... please tell me why : (51 votes)
    91 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    9919 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @ladydirtold:  If it was a casual backyard affair I’d say go for it, for a black tie wedding this doesn’t seem to fit.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @MsGinkgo:  

    +1 Since black tie weddings are formal, this kind of invitation is too casual.

    Most wedding invitations are written in the third person. 

    OP, it isn’t necessary to say “my soon to be son-in-law”. Everyone knows he will soon be your son-in-law.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @ladydirtold:  

    Gotcha. Sorry about the mistake.

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    9919 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @ladydirtold:  I can appreciate the touch of quirkiness, as I’m the same way, but if you’re trying to set the stage for a black tie wedding, I don’t think this wording really gets that across, the two ‘themes’ don’t really go together.  I also don’t really like the reference to cold feet.  

    It’s a cute idea but, at least to me, it really reads more like a birthday party invite than a black tie wedding invite.

    Post # 9
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    do to it being a black tie wedding i would say no but she can always come up with something else that she can write. guests may be a little confused if they see it is a black tie attire for the wedding and the invitations is Dr. Seuss inspired. after all the invitations is the first piece of wedding they will see and it will set the style of the wedding! this is very creative and I would say go for it if it was casual attire.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1169 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I’m not a fan… I don’t like this kind of stuff as it is & as a fan of poetry, the inconsistent rythym drives me crazy. I would be very confused to recieve this for a black tie wedding.

    That said.. if that’s totally her personality and her dream, go for it. However, I do think it’s really important (at least to people like me) that the poem is written in a rhyming fashion that makes sense. Right now, it’s hard to read because there is no pattern to the rhyme. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    3344 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    @MsGinkgo:  +1

    @ladydirtold:  Plus, it’s sooooo long!  How are you going to fit all that on one invitation?  I’d save the quirky poem idea for shower invites.  I agree that it’s just not appropriate for a black-tie formal wedding, whether or not it fits her personality.

    Post # 13
    Member
    42546 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It’s just too cutesy for me, especially for a black tie wedding.

    The title of your post is “What do you think of this invitation wording?”

    Perhaps you should change the title if you really only want mistakes addressed, not the whole idea of the style of invitation.

    Post # 14
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @ladydirtold:  you asked for opinions, we’re giving you honest opinions.  

    I agree with PP’s that it’s too casual – that’s not to say that with some work it couldn’t be great.

    The rhythm definitely leaves a little to be desired as it stands, it’s inconsistent and a little difficult to read.  To really be Seussian it needs a steady rhythm, having the actual names in there might help with that but I don’t know.

    This is my quick rewrie – just an idea, not sure if it’s better or worse, just a suggestion 🙂

    Left foot, Right foot

    Young foot, Old foot

    Doesn’t matter as long as it’s your foot.

    Slow feet, Quick feet

    Small feet, Big feet

    So many feet we hope to greet.

    The Bride and The Groom

    Do hope you’ll be there

    Black tie is the attire,

    So that’s what to wear

    Here are the details

    the address and such

    We hope you can come

    it would mean oh so much

    DATE

    at TIME in the afternoon

    Place

    Address

    Address

    To let us know

    if you can attend

    the RSVP to us

    you must send

    Post # 15
    Member
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @ladydirtold:  

    If you feel that your invitation reflects your daughter’s personality, then more power to you. I just think that invitations should match the formality of the wedding. To each her own….

    Our opinions don’t really matter since you will make the final choice. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Personally… not for black tie, but really cute for like… a summer tent wedding with lawn games…maybe? The invitation usually indicates formality.

    I’ve seen poems like that on shower invites (fairly often, actually) but never on a wedding invitation. It just seems a little flippant.

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