what do you think of this RSVP card wording?

posted 2 years ago in DIY
  • poll: which sounds better
    adults only reception : (21 votes)
    95 %
    no children please : (1 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    3960 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Quackadoo:   No matter what you say, or how you say it, there is something about weddings that makes guests feel entitled to do some inviting of their own.  LOL  However you word your RSVP cards, be prepared for additional guests, announced or otherwise.   

    Post # 4
    Member
    3960 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Quackadoo:   I agree.  We wanted a small, intimate wedding, we did not want to *both* be meeting someone on our wedding day.  We ended up with five or six guest-invited guests, two of whom were announced at the very last minute – days ahead of the wedding.   On the day of the wedding they were very gracious and they all blended in well, but I know it doesn’t always work out that way.

    Best of luck with your plans!  

    Post # 5
    Member
    11740 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Neither.  Invitations aren’t to point out who isn’t invited.  You use the inner/outher envelopes to list who is invited (Mr. and Mrs. Jane Doe, Mr. John Doe and Ms. Sarah Smith, the Jones Family, etc.).  If your guests add additional people, you privately call them and point out that the invitation did not include the person they added, and that unfotunately, you can’t accomodate additional guests.  For what it’s worth, we didn’t have a single person add additional guests.

    As for the “We have reserved X seats in your honor” – I suppose it’s fine to do that, but I have never really seen it as necessary.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3713 posts
    Sugar bee

    The reserved “# of seats in your honor” may not work. We had one woman want to substitute her 9 year old daughter, since her husband probably has to work. If we invited one, we’d have to add 30 and the venue is too small (100 adults). Of course, one guest, who had an adult only wedding a few yeas ago, thought it perfectly all right to ask if she could bring her toddler, who she referred to as “the little monster,” in her e-mail. Not happening…

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    2704 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Quackadoo:  

    Adults only sounds much better!

    Hopefully filling out half the card will reduce the amount of unwanted guests! I’ll worried about this too. Good thing FI is very blunt and will call them if we see a name that isn’t invited. Bahahaha

    Post # 8
    Member
    42546 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Aside from the points that have already been made, you could use “Adult reception to follow”. That way you are not saying who is not invited, just letting people know the type of reception you are planning.

    Post # 9
    Member
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I had an adults only reception and didn’t mention it anywhere on the invitations or RSVP cards. Nor did I mention the number of seats reserved per household. I made sure to have the invitations addressed correctly as a PP mentioned.

    Only two people ended up trying to invite people that were not included specifically on the invitation. And both were on DH’s side. So when those RSVP’s came in, I called my MIL and asked her to handle the issue of the additional people/children who were not invited. It turned out not being as big of a deal as I feared it would be.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3223 posts
    Sugar bee

    If you really want to eliminate the room for error, then the most polite way would be to list out each guest by name, not mention who is not invited.

     

    _Bob Jones_______________  Accepts    Declines

    __Mary Jones____________   Accepts   Declines

     

    The whole we’ve reserved…..allows guests more room to fill in their own picks.  If Bob can’t go, Mary knows she can sub in her neighbour Florence to accompany her, as you’ve save two seats in her honour.

    List who you want there, either via envelope or hand writing in each name.  Do not make mention of anyone you don’t want there.  You wouldn’t dream of putting “no crazy uncles” or “no gossipy grandmas”.  No children is the same thing. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    11002 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I agree with many of the prior comments.  The whole “we have reserved ____ seats in your honor” language, which I have never seen until I joined Weddingbee, has the unfortunate effect of promising guests a certain number of reserved seats, even if one (or more) of the individuals you’re inviting is (are) unable to attend. “My husband can’t come, but I don’t want to travel alone, so my sister/friend, etc. will be coming in his place.”

    Also, it is best not to attribute emotions to your guests.  The language offered by andielovesj:  — a simple “accepts” or “declines” is better than presuming that a guest is accepting wih pleasure or declining wth regret.

    As for people presuming that children are welcome when you have not invited them, I found that using both outer and inner envelopes is very effective.  When people see an inner envelope that lists two specific names, they are much less likely to presume that children also are included.

    Finally, if a guest DOES add names of guests whom you have not invited, it is perfectly acceptable to contact the guest to explain, politely, that there must have been a misunderstanding and that only (names of guests invited) were included on the invitation.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3084 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Quackadoo:  I had a child-free reception and just wrote the names of who was invited on the invites. We didn’t run into any issues. Everyone understood that anyone under 18 years old was not invited to the wedding.

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