(Closed) what does it mean?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Truthfully it only means anything if you make it into anything. I could guess that it’s easier to fall in love with the shadow of someone you once knew. But whether or not it’s the right thing to do is up to you.

You say that you’ve been having issues with your FI and it probably manifested into a dream of a lost love you had for your old BF. Please be careful.

My BF longed for something that used to be, too, and it hurt my relationship with him. He had dreams and nightmares about an old ex. We broke up so that he could sort things out with those old feelings. I told him all along that he was chasing a shadow. Once he remembered why they didn’t work out he felt like an a-hole, and that was sadly well-deserved on his part.

It took a lot of work and forgiveness from me to get over that. Now we are good, but I truthfully think it’s a miracle that I forgave him. Unfortunately your FI might not be as forgiving or understanding if you decide to dwell on your old BF. For this situation, it’s best to let the sleeping dogs lie.

Post # 5
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think that you are having feelings of wanting to get out and this guy is just a face on those desires.  It sounds like you and your FI need to have a serious discussion.  You said it yourself that things have been rocky for you lately.  I really think you should make sure that you are on the same page before preceding with your wedding.

Post # 6
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

YES! I have been having dreams about two of my exboyfriends off and on for a few weeks. It’s the strangest thing! What’s also similar to your situation is that ever since my FI and I booked our venue, we had been bickering a lot about wedding stuff and other decisions. Petty things. We actually just stopped fighting and hopefully don’t start up again. Wedding stress, I think.

I think it’s absurd that I keep having these dreams of both my ex’s. I keep trying to figure out why I am. I was really into both, but I don’t think it was ever really love so I know that these boys were never the one’s. They were both not good to me so I don’t feel a longing for them. I just think it’s odd they have been popping up in my dreams!

I talked to my mom about it and she just said that it’s because I’m finally realizing that I am no longer going to date anymore weirdos (they were both not very nice). She’s funny. I don’t think it has anything to do with your ex or you wanting to get back with him since you say for yourself you don’t even know him. Maybe you had a good relationship with him and you’re remembering all the nice feelings you’ve had with someone else and because you’re struggling with your FI you may start yearning for what you think you once felt. Don’t do anything drastic. You’re with your FI for a reason. Just rationalize it and think about if it’s just because you miss the closeness that goes away when the fighting is going on.

Sorry I can’t be more help, but I am in the same court too and I think it will be ok 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Honestly, I think dreams are pretty random.  I’ve had dreams about being friends with an ex-boyfriend that I absolutely hate, and I KNOW that didn’t mean anything!  Blech!  Heck, I had a dream last night that my parents told me they staged pictures from my birth and I was really adopted!

Post # 8
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve had dreams like that as well… especially right after I got engaged. I think it is only normal for your subconcious to question HUGE life decisions like who you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

As for the fights you two have been having… every couple has “more” fights about everything while they are planning a wedding… it’s a very stressful time. Step back and try to figure out if the fights are just bickering about nonsense things or if there are really troubles in the relationship.

If you and your FI are honestly having serious problems talk with him about how your feel. But if the dreams are the only things you are worried about… i’d say take a deep breath and just chalk it up to a crazy dream.

Post # 9
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Are the issues you’re having with your FI in any way similar to stuff that happened iwth your ex? I’ve heard that dreams are often our subconscious making sense of all the stuff going on in our lives, and that people can represent totally differnet people, if there’s some similar element that connects them.

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