What does it mean to be a "good wife"?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think it’s a question that the husband should answer!

For my husband (and therefore, for me) it means treating him with kindness, love and appreciation, listening intently to his hopes, worries and fears, and supporting him 100%.

Post # 4
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Being wifey to his hubby; loving each other unconditionally and building each other up.

(For us, that includes cooking for each other, cleaning up after each other, lots of hugs and kisses and verbal affirmation, and nightly sexy time)  🙂

Post # 5
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

IMO I think it means 100% support of eachother and our goals and ambitions, whether they be for both of us or just ourselves.

I think it means never talking bad about him to anyone, being faithful and being thoughtful. And standing up for eachother to our families as well.

I constantly have people tell me that I should be prepping his lunch for work the next day, or cooking supper every night. Or some people might think being a good wife means being available for sex.

For us, I listen to him about how his day was. We give eachother attention. Take eachother seriously. Realise both our feelings are valid. Be able to go out without eachother without feeling bad, but also making time for eachother. I also try to pretend to not hate giving bjs at least once a month lol

We’re not married yet but I believe we’re doing pretty good.

Post # 6
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013


It means putting the needs of you BOTH above the needs of either individual. It certainly does NOT mean putting his needs above your own. 

Personally I think it’s healthy to have your OWN hobbies – and I would not want DH involved in mine, nor he in his. Interested, sure. Involved, nope. 

Spending quality time together, yes – but also enjoying the dullness of everyday life and sharing it with your partner. It means that you never question each other’s love, support and commitment. 

Post # 7
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Enjoying every day life together. Remembering the little things and doing stuff just to make your partner’s life a little easier or to bring a smile to his/her face. Keeping an eye on the big picture and choosing your battles. Being willing to apologize when you are in the wrong,  accepting the role you played in escalating a situation even though you are in the right, and realizing that “being in the right” is a rather stupid concept in the first place when you’re both in this together. Being your partner’s biggest cheerleader and most trusted confidante. Keeping things fresh and fun. Working to improve yourself continually (however you choose to define that concept). Be willing to re-adjust your plans and goals to align with your partner’s plans and goals. Treating your partner with kindness, respect, and love every moment of every day, even when he’s being a grumpy *ss (or, at least trying to achieve this goal!).

Post # 8
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

imma go with a:

good person

who is married

who is female

who is good to her spouse at least as much as she is good, generally speaking. You know, no backstabbing, deception, stuff like that.

if you are trying your hardest, you’ve probably got it in the bag 🙂

Post # 9
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@linnylou_88:  not putting rat poison in his food when hes being a complete ass…?? thats all i got…. 


i figure you dont need to be a “good wife” just his “only wife” he picked you…he loves you… you are already perfect, why should you need to be something more? if you do that, you loose yourself…you then become “his wife” its “jim and his wife” NOT “Jim and Jill” you then become his shaddow not a person any more but his keeper and thats all BS if you ask me… just keep doing what you do every day and be yourself dont try to be more! dont loose yourself in marrage like everyone else i know!!! 

Post # 10
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

In our case, I figure I am a good wife because:

I’m a good mother to our child

I cook, clean, keep our house mostly tidy

I don’t give him a hard time about nearly anything. If he wants to go do something, he goes and does it.

I don’t call & nag him about things while we works.

I listen to how his day was/ all of his work complaints.

I DTD with him on a pretty regular basis.

I do random nice things for him

I ask him what he wants (food, going places, etc)

I don’t butt heads with him over pointless things.

I’m generally a pretty flexible person, so I don’t mind doing what he wants. lol

I’m usually pleasant to be around.

I support him in everything.

I’m faithful.


Post # 11
8510 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Supportive, loving, giving, and loyal?

Works both ways!

Post # 12
8389 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

For me, being a good wife is being a good team player; I equate it to the healer that always tops off her tank.  Also, what AndysCraftsNmore  said about rat poison 🙂

Post # 13
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@AndysCraftsNmore:  …I’m sorry, but “just being you” is asking for trouble. Marriage – work, not just going along your way and never putting in any effort.

Sure, he married you for you, but both partners should always be working at the marriage and ensuring eachother are happy. I think people should always “try to be more” I am forever looking for ways to make our marriage and relationship even better and better.

Post # 14
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

None of the above…

It means stop trying so hard to make him happy and focus on being the best you can be… when I try to make him happy or do something special just for him – i’ll usually end up disapointed, upset, or worn out. Men are simple and most men love seeing their wives be strong, responsible individuals with their own passions. Encourage him in everything he does- even when he’s got crazy ideas. When he lets you down, give forgiveness quickly but your trust slowly. Just be yourself – he fell in love with you for a reason.

Post # 15
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@urchin:  if your not being you, then you are then being someone else.Someone he did not marry. Work is work, and a marriage is marriage, you dont marry your work so why should you work at your marriage?(does that mean it wasnt perfect to begin with?)  you should not work at making a marage function properly, A marriage is what it is, two people loving each other day in and day out. why should anyone try harder? to make it better? its already perfect, he loves you and you love him what is better than that?  


yes people have arguments here and there you then talk them out and fix it but dont live your live trying to be PERFECT for someone else, he already thinks you are…when you are yourself! 

I dont see why people feel the need “oh now im married i have to bend over backward for Frank so he still loves me, everything has to be perfect”  WHY you didnt bend over backwards for him to ask you to marry him you didnt do it for him to ask you to be his girlfriend so many moons ago… he loves how you are now, not for the slave you want to be for him in making everything perfect for him… 

(ive lost to many friends/family who have done this, “i cant do that Frank will be home and i HAVE to have dinner done, WHAT.. tell Frank your going to have agirls night out and heres money for a pizza, you dont have to be cold about it but JEEZ people need to be their own person beofre anything if not…whats the point… ) 


– sorry if that sounds mean i dont want it to come accrost that way

Post # 16
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@AndysCraftsNmore:  I guess we will just have to disagree.

To me, your outlook that marriage should require no work is pretty fairytale-esque.

Anything good in life requires work. I’ve been with my DH for nearly 10 years and it has required LOTS of work along the way. That does NOT mean we’re not “meant to be together” or that “something has never bene perfect since the beginning.”

Nothing is ever perfect, and it’s pretty naeve to think otherwise. People change, grow, and morph constantly. It is going to take work to keep the love alive and to be compatible, no matter how great you are for one another. It’s not just about the fact that you “love” eachother.

Going the extra mile for your spouse isn’t “trying to be perfect” or being a slave, or whatever, it’s showing that you care for your partner. Showing them that they are special, and how much you love them.

I’m not neglecting myself by setting aside my selfish wants (ie, going out with the girls) to go home and cook supper for my hubby instead.

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