Post # 1
So my husband and I do not plan on having our first baby for a few years. Even though we plan on waiting, I find myself asking my pregnant friends (and even lurking around here) a lot of different questions regarding pregnancy, raising their kids..etc.
Anyways, we had a couple tell us last night that they were expecting their 2nd baby this September! We are so thrilled for them and they mentioned, “Yahl, it was a surprise but we’re excited”. Even my little brother was a “surprise”. So, what does that mean!?!? If I miss a pill, I don’t let my husband touch me! lol. We either don’t get physical or he wears a condom for about 2 days after! (I know that’s a little overboard, but still). I obviously know HOW a surprise happens, but are those kind of surpises really a surprise? You missed your pill for a few days, had unprotected sex and got pregnant—not a surprise.
What about any of you who really had a surprise….no missed BC..ect? I’m just confused, and frankly, terrified that we’ll have a surprise! lol
Post # 3
I had stopped taking my BC because i heard it would take a while to get pregnant. I was on the pill for over a decade. i became pregnant the second month. Definitely a “suprise”
Post # 4
I think some people get into a point where they’re preventing, but it’s not the end of the world if they get pregnant, so sometimes get a little lax. So, it’s not like they didn’t realize they were playing the odds, but still a “surprise”. We were like you when we didn’t want to get pregnant. On the pill and we used a condom EVERY time because there was no way we wanted a baby. Two 99.7% effective things failing would have been more than a surprise…
That said, we TTC for 19 months, and had pretty much just started thinking maybe we missed a lesson in sex ed about how babies were made or were completely defective and went about our business just having fun, so when that second line showed up… I’d still say I was surprised.. haha.
Post # 5
I’ll be 23 weeks tomorrow. Darling Husband and I had decided that we wanted to TTC after our wedding but I had to finish my BCP. I finished my last pack and expected my body to take time to regulate. My period never came and it was because I was pregnant. We were surprised because we didn’t think it would happen that quickly. Plus Darling Husband was married before and they tried to have a baby and couldn’t and my doc thought I may have endometriosis and so with that we thought that it would take a long time to get pregnant. It didn’t. So I guess we were surprised it happened to quickly???
Post # 6
I think there is always that 1% BC fails. Pills aren’t 100% effective. I think being a surprise means they were actively trying not to have a child, but life happened and they are very happy it did.
Post # 7
Pills aren’t 100% effective even if you don’t miss one. My FI’s daughter had a “surprise” a couple of years ago. She now has an IUD which are as foolproof as it gets.
Post # 8
You get pregnant not expecting it…. surprise! Happens all the time. I got pregnant right after a miscarriage, like right after! Never even got period first, that was a surprise to us & our doctor! Neither of us thought that was going to happen.
ETA-best surprise ever! Dd is now 4, I had miscarried twice before her.
Post # 9
Hate to break it to you, but you are suppose to use back-up birth control for 7 days (not 2) after missed pills (actually when you miss two days in a row). That could be a surprise for you!
But condoms can break or leak (without noticing). Birth control pills may not be affective if your stomach is upset (throwing up) or are taking antibiotics. Supposedly when you are breast feeding you don’t ovulate, so maybe the parents thought that was enough birth control. So there’s your surprise!
Post # 11
I completely agree. In the back of someone’a mind, if they knew they had unprotected sex including missing a pill, then it shouldn’t really be considered a surprise. Might be a shock because “oh no, I never thought that would happen to me” but there was no protection so chances are you may be pregnant…
Post # 12
You realize that even the most effective birth control is 99.8% effective, right? What do you think those 0.2% of women are doing?
Post # 13
I was a surprise to my parents. Mom was 40 and I was conceived pretty much immediately after they got married. Mom was shocked! They didn’t use anything but she certainly didn’t expect to get pregnant that quickly at that age.
Post # 14
Thanks for all the responses. It’s just interesting to hear what other’s “surprises” were. @citybearbride–good to know! lol. I’ve only missed my pill once since starting 2 years ago and called my dr. to see what to do. Her response was that it depends on which week in my pack that i missed to determine how many days to have back-up. If I were to get pregnant I guess it would be a surprise bc, according to me, I’m taking my BC correctly, but it’s also not unrealistic when it’s not 100% effective. Or, like one poster said, I could have had some type of stomach issue, or taken a medication that interacted…
My husbands going to be really sad when I tell him we’re going to have to stop having sex for at least 2 years!!!! hahahaha jk
Post # 15
I admit, I find it hard to believe when a pregnancy is truely a ‘suprise’. But maybe that’s because Darling Husband is TOTALLY PARANOID of an ‘oops’, so we use double protection (pill and condoms), and if one of those goes away (like my pill when I’m on antibiotics) we abstain completely. It totally, totally sucks sometimes (especially last year when I had to go off my pill for 3 months), but since we don’t want a kid right now, we are super careful.
Post # 16
@cmbr: yes, I’m fully aware of the %rate of BC. That was mostly the point of my quesiton. Just curious as to what peoples surprise came from….missed pills, taking medication, having sex during breast feeding, simply falling into the 0.2%…ect.