Post # 1
Let me just say, my FMIL and I don’t not get along, but things are 100x easier and less stressful without her around. She is extremely high-strung and constantly trying to “help” when really all she does is create stress. Because of this, I’m wondering what the MOG typically does prior to the ceremony, while my mom and my BMs and I will be getting ready. Do I need to invite her to get ready with us? I’m afraid of hurting her feelings if the typical thing is for her to spend the morning with us. But if there is something else the MOG usually does, it may be easier to give her another task. What did your MIL do/will you FMIL do before the wedding?
Post # 3
I love my MIL so it wasn’t an issue for me to invite her to get ready with us. She declined though b/c she has her own hair stylist that she wanted to use. She just got ready at home and then came to watch us finish up getting ready.
Post # 4
you should invite her to get ready with all of you. even if she declines, it’s the gesture that counts and it would be quite a snub if you left her out.
Post # 5
I haven’t gotten married yet, but you have a few options.
1) I think the most traditional morning-of activity is for her to participate in the girls getting ready activities.
2) If you think your stress level would be better if she was less present, you can probably incorporate a few errands or changes of scenery to give yourself some room. Maybe ask her to swing by the florist to pick up the flowers? Also, if you’re sending a photographer to the guys’ getting ready location, maybe you could arrange to have some pre-wedding shots of mother and son… so she could get ready with you gals but then have a VERY important meeting for once-in-a-lifetime photos that you so GRACIOUSLY arranged for her to have. Best of both worlds, maybe?
3) If you think it’s going to be a big problem, I’d assign a BM to be a peacekeeper… converse with FMIL when she needs someone to talk to instead of getting involved in stuff she doesn’t need to be involved in, that sort of stuff.
Post # 6
My FMIL and I are on good terms, so I would include her in anything I’d include BM and MOB in (getting ready). Do you have a day of planner? Maybe she can check to make sure the set up of your venue is going smoothly – table linens straight, centerpieces arranged correctly, making sure the groomsmen are all looking dapper, whatever. She’ll feel like she has control while staying out of your hair.
Post # 7
I plan on inviting my “high strung” MIL as well, but knowing her she’ll probably try to hang out with FI, which is fine too! But I am definitely putting it out there!
Post # 8
Alright, I guess I’ll ask her…I’m trying to get used to this MIL thing. FI realizes how over the top and annoying she is, but she’s his mom and he loves her so I am doing my best to work with her 🙂
Post # 9
sure invite her to get ready with yall in the morning–idk–i would have a few backup ideas…in case she starts making things more stressful than they need to be. like say omg! we didnt pick up enough plates! or we need more ice!! can you get us some more wine? the florist forgot a centerpiece! or it could even be like oo! i left my bouquets upstairs/in the other room would you care to go get it…or something. give you some opportunities to have a moment of peace. idk, not sayin starting off the relationship this way is a good thing…but for one day its about you & your FH to be happy & if you’re stressed—you can’t be as happy as you want to be.
p.s.–if she starts being reluctant…i’d clue in your bridal party & maybe they can go with her to do stuff so she doesn’t feel singled out.
Post # 10
Me and the MIL don’t get along. So for her, she hung around with her son and the other groomsmen. Me and my BMs did makeup and got dressed together.
Does she want to miss watching her son get ready for his big day? We got some good photos of her and my DH while getting ready. Maybe you could spin it that way.