Weddingbee boards

Fi and i have never discussed sex toys before, i guess we never needed them.  I however have only climaxed by him once, only by myself can i using a toy.  This past weekend was my bach party and i received a friend... I of course jokingly gave it to my fi in a gift bag telling him it was for him..just to see what his reaction was.  He opened it and said disgusting.  Then the next day it was still in the box on the table (because i didn't know exactley what to do with it).  Fi texted me and told me that i better be getting rid of it, and it better never go between my legs.  I know that some guys get insecure with toys....  What's your thoughts?

How do your SO deal with this issue? 

Some guys may get insecure with toys, but it kinda sounds like your FI has a little bit of growing up to do if he is going to react that way and send you text messages of that nature. If that is the best way for you to be satisfied with your sex life, there are definitely ways of incorporating a toy into the bedroom...and NOT in a way that leaves him in the cold!  I think you guys should sit down and have a talk about your needs and wants and possible boundaries of experimentation.  Communication is the key!

My husband and I do not use toys, but after we talked about the possibility and I explained to him that there are toys for HIM too, not just for me...he warmed up to the idea right quick.  I think a lot of guys have this preconceived notion about "toys replacing boys" and it takes us wise women to enlighten them on the fact that it ISN'T the case! 

Hmm...my SO is really very ok with toys. We have a vibrator and cock ring (can I say that on here?  Please don't flag me!!)  We use them sometimes for fun.  I wonder what your FI's  problem with them would be?  Does he think it's a replacement for him?  Maybe you could talk to him about it, and make sure to say that you could use it together....

I guess I should also note that my SO is ten years older than me, and very open about talking about our sex life, so maybe that factors in? 

I think there is a way to discuss it - but make sure if you do that it is NOT when you're in bed, or getting ready to go to bed, or anything like that.  It should be discussed in a non-sexual way.

Anyway, just my 2 cents...

My FI loves em!  He's always up for anything of that nature - for use together or seperately. 

I really hope this doesn't come off as harsh or rude or anything, but I would think that your FI would want you to climax during your sexual encounters.  If toys help, then I would be a bit concerned if he isn't willing to even try it out together, but that's me. 

FI and I had to spend a few months apart when his dad died, so we did discuss sex toys. We purchased them together and made sure they were small, discreet, and friendly. No huge disgusting dildos or anything! He still likes to use my vibrator on me, because sometimes it just gets the job done a bit better...lol.

okay, so this might be a bit personal... Do you guys read or watch porn together? If so, I would try to seek some out that includes a couple using similar toys TOGETHER...hopefully that would help give him the idea that it is a tool for him to use, not a replacement. 

Like others have said, I think you need to sit down and have a talk about what it does and doesnt mean for you to own/use toys. If he's super insecure, he may never come around (I had a friend whose ex-husband considered it cheating for her to use a vibrator and he just couldnt get over that.) ...But I really think it's worth trying to change his perspective and talking to him about it if it will help you have a more satisfying sex life. You might even offer conditions that he could set (i.e. that you wouldnt use it without him) - it seems a little ridiculous, but it might help him be more comfortable with it.

All that being said, I can't imagine having Fi react that way - mine is disappointed that I dont really use my toys anymore~

@bridget_124:Maybe you could get something for him? 

My ex-BF was not at all concerned that I wasn't reaching orgasm (charming, right?), so for Valentine's Day, I went to the Pleasure Chest (that's a shop here in LA) and bought some things.  The only one that got a good response from him:  A FEATHER.  Yup.  Because, really, who can feel threatened by a feather?  Anyway, it opened his eyes to more possibilities. 

So, maybe start small, and work your way into it?

We literaly just ordered our first toy and are eagerly awaiting its arrival. We do more than fine in bed on our own... we just wanted to be a little adventurous.

@clarebee:Ooh, tell us about the wedge.  I've been thinking of getting it too!

@FutureMrsSpinewiz:One of the (many) benefits (as least in my mind) of being with an older man! 

That's kinda an unusual response IMO.

Does he know you've only had one climax with him? If so he's probably insecure about it. I agree with Jennibride, he should want you to enjoy yourself as well.

My FI will buy them for me, they can be alot of fun.. I would make sure he knows he'll always be best, and you can show him how to use it correctly for you.

My FH is the one who introduced me to toys!! I would definitely sit down and talk with him - sometimes guys are just shy around these things.

I have a vibrator I sometimes use with my BF, and he's never had an issue with it. He likes using it on me as part of the foreplay, and he also likes watching me use it.

My vibrator is pink and slender, and not shaped like a penis, so I think it's too cute and 'innocent' looking for my BF to see it as any kind of threat.

If you want to introduce toys to your FI, it might be a good idea to get a small vibrator to be used a clitoris stimulation only.

We have a small collection of them (maybe 5 or 6 different items) but we use them very rarely.  The one he likes is a bullet with a remote control.  I think he likes the idea of it being a secret thing we can do in public.  He's very open to toys, which I enjoy, even though we don't use them a lot.

My bf is fine with them...we have a small vibe..he encourages me to get it out most every time we are intimate.. :-D he knows it is a guaranteed O for me esp. in positions where there is no clitoral stimulation like doggy.....and he likes me to have an O, he doesn't care the vibe is doing most of the work, hehe.....fun and happy for both of us.

Mine got me some for Christmas! Honestly, sex toys are just toys and they're something you can enjoy together. It's not like you're having an affair, it's more along the lines of an epilator or an electric toothbrush - nothing to get upset about.