Post # 1
I can’t be the only one that was severely lacking in my knowledge of wedding etiquette before getting on the Bee!
Have you done any wedding related stuff in the past that you now realize was…maybe kinda rude?
Tell me your stories!
Post # 3
@crystalrae: My Fiance proposed to me the night before my cousins wedding! He didn’t think it was bad because we weren’t involved in the wedding at all, but I still cringe when I think about it. I feel like i should have waited to announce it till the next week!
Post # 4
I don’t send a gift when I don’t go to the wedding. I would send a gift if it was someone I was really close to and was sad I couldn’t go to their wedding, but all the weddings I’ve declined I haven’t been THAT close to the people.
I understand you’re supposed to send a gift when you receive a wedding invitation. I just don’t agree with that. So I don’t.
Post # 5
@crystalrae: Well I guess it’s debatable if I did anything really bad, but before the bee I bought gifts that weren’t on the registry (but nothing like a toaster or whatever), and I might have asked a few too many questions about ladies’ diamonds (just because I am obsessed). Oh and I am most likely guilty for calling dainty looking rings ‘cute’ (not in a bitchy way) – I will definitely not be doing that again!!
I am sure some more will come to mind lol…
Post # 6
@NAvery: Completely untrue.
Miss Manners says “don’t fall victirm to wedding gift extortion” when you are sent an invitation.
A wedding invitation is not an invoice.
Post # 7
@Spade504: Oops! Wonder if they were mad? I never would have thought twice about this a couple years ago!
@NAvery: I think that one is totally up for debate. I am not sure I would send a gift if I declined a wedding invitation. What if I wasn’t close to the couple at all? I think that would be the deciding factor.
Here’s my shameful stories of regret:
1. I once wore a short, sparkly, ruffly IVORY DRESS to a wedding. It didn’t even occur to me that this could be a problem. Every time I think about it I feel like an idiot. Sometimes I’m tempted to call the bride and apologize!
2. We were invited to FI’s workmate’s wedding at the last minute because they had extra seats and they had started to get close. I got them wedding themed picture frames and champagne glasses. Looking back that has to be the worst gift ever. That would only really cuts it as a shower or engagement gift.
Post # 8
@crystalrae: I asked to bring my SO to a wedding (at least, I think I only did it once! Eep!), when he wasn’t explicitly invited! Now I feel like such an asshole for having done that.
Post # 9
@canarydiamond: I’ve done that a couple of times too. I feel a little silly about it now, but not the worst thing I’ve done! I think I’ve given a set of funky cocktail glasses once at a bridal shower and another time for a wedding I gave a gift card to a store other than what they registered at. I think that one worked out okay because the bride really liked that store and you get way better value there than you would at the department stores.
I was also a bridesmaid for my close friends wedding…actually we were frenemies… and I was the type of bridesmaid that someone might have come on the boards to complain about. I can’t believe the bride stuck with me – she had a lot more confidence in our friendship at that time than I did. I made it up hopefully be being super helpful at her wedding but I feel like I caused her a ton of stress leading up to it.
I feel like now that I have understood my past mistakes and learned from the Bee that I will be the best wedding guest ever in the future.
Post # 10
@crystalrae: Once I RSVP’s “yes” and forgot to attend. This is really the ultimate wedding sin. There is no excuse.
Fortunatley it was a somewhat casual wedding. But still–no excuse.
I called up the bride, apologized profusely, and wrote a nice sized check for a gift. But really there is no excuse.
Since that fauxpas I’ve restored my balance in the wedding karma world by attending two back-to-back fmaily weddings where there was NO FRICKIN’ ALCOHOL, both Saturday night ‘dos. And I suffered miserably for it.
Post # 11
@DomesticDiva: THat reminds me of how my Fiance brought me to a wedding of a friend of his that I didn’t know and brought up months later that he didn’t know if i had been invited or not!
My cousin wasn’t mad she was super excited for me and couldn’t wait to see the ring! I think I was just embarassed when I read on here how you are supposed to give people months of their own time to shine! I wanted to call her up and be like I wasn’t trying to steal your spotlight!!
Post # 12
In my early 20s, if someone sent me a wedding invitation, and I didn’t want to go, I just ignored it. If I didn’t feel like going the day of, I just didn’t, and if I did,a lot of times I didn’t bring a gift.
I feel horrible about this now, and I know full well that if there is any justice in the world, I’ll end up with half my guests not showing, and half again not bringing even a card with them.
Post # 13
I am also guilty of RSVPing (to a shower) and not showing up. Pre-bee.. I didnt even think about how rude it was… Now I cringe when I think about that.
Post # 14
Once when I was young I wore a light beige colored dress to a wedding and another time I didn’t RSVP.
I would NEVER do that now. Never!
Edited to add
When I first started posting here, I thougt STD meant Sexually Transmitted Disease
Post # 15
I had never written a thank-you note in my life until my bridal shower. No one in my family ever taught that we were supposed to do that! I look back at my graduation parties and just cringe over all the gifts I never sent a thank you for…
Post # 16
I am hanging my head in shame. I’ve been THAT girl at a wedding who drinks too much during the cocktail hour and talked a little too loudly during a toast or a dance. THAT GIRL.