1. Come to the dress shopping and all fittings – come prepared with correct shoes, bra, support garments, etc.
2. Attend the rehearsal if possible.
3. Be prepared to spend the entire wedding day with the BP – hair appt is in the morning, and I want everyone together from the start so there are no mix-ups or people running late.
4. Behave appropriately during all wedding-related events. It’s ok if you can’t make a shower/party/rehearsal (etc) but if you ARE there, don’t be drunk, watch your language, be dressed appropriately. (You’d think this would go without saying, but I felt it was better to say it anyway, just for the sake of clarification.)
5. Keep all wedding details off of social media. No photos, no videos, no discussions. Definitely no drama of any kind to be deal with on FB, Twitter, etc.
That was really it. I had very little DIY, and my Mom and I handled that. My BMs have been really supportive, and except for one (somewhat sizeable) hiccup of drama with one BM, things have been smooth.
I think where people hit the snags is if they expect/demand way too much time and/or money out of their BMs. It’s hard, but you have to remember that everyone else has their own things going on at the same time, and you shouldn’t be offended that they don’t attend your envelope-stuffing-party or your labels-on-wine-bottles “girls’ night.”
I would say, whatever your expectations are, be upfront and clear from day 1. Good communication is going to help you avoid the common problems.