What "faux pas" have you made?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8850 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I haven’t gotten gifts for people who invited me to their wedding if I couldn’t go, which I feel a little badly about now.  I was a poor broke college student at the time, though.

I also don’t think I’ve EVER signed a guest book at a wedding.  Having just gotten married last weekend, now I feel guilty about that!  I hope not very many people pulled a me on that….

Post # 4
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I sent my registry cards in my invites.

My MOH is my best friend but 90% of the invites wont know her to ask if/where we’re registered.  I’m happy I did it because we’re getting things we want!

Post # 5
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@lolot:  I’ve also rarely signed guestbooks. Oops. I just somehow always miss them! 

Once I didn’t stay for the cake cutting at my friend’s wedding, and I felt super bad about that. But it wasn’t until 11:30 at night which is the latest cake cutting I’ve ever experienced. 


Post # 6
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I went to a very nice wedding last year for the oldest son of a close family friend. Both me and my now FI were invited along with my parents. I gave them a gift but looking back on it I don’t think I gave them nearly enough! My Mom just kept telling me that her and my father would give a large enough gift to be from all of us but I feel bad I didn’t give them more from myself. Their gift was very personal to them and I am sure they liked it but I always wondered after not getting a thank you card if it was because I didn’t deserve one.

Post # 7
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had no clue about the no wearing white policy, and I wore my white prom dress as a guest to a wedding. I never met the bride before. 

For my own wedding related thing, I mailed out my thank-yous last month. We included an apology letter with the card. 

Post # 8
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I addressed an invite to Mr. guy friend and Dr. his girlfriend. I didn’t know that because she’s a Doctor, she outranks him and goes first. Given her background and upbringing, she totally would have noticed. But hey, they’re comig!

Post # 9
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I crashed a wedding once. I was visiting a friend in a different state and he, and all of our mutual friends who were going to the wedding, told me over and over again that “it’s totally fine, just come!” It was my first real wedding as an adult and I had no idea that it would be such a horrible thing. I still feel guilty about it several years later!!

Post # 10
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I posted this in the other thread which they closed:

I had one friend who got married straight out of university, it was the first  friend’s wedding I’d ever been to. I started dating someone and was SO EXCITED  at the idea of finally having a boyfriend that I asked if I could bring him. And then they eventually said yes, but we broke up before the wedding! I  feel like suuuuuch a rude idiot now when I think about it, but back then I was  young and didn’t know any better!

Post # 11
31 posts

I brought a large boxed gift to the wedding. It would have been really expensive to ship (poor college student here) and we got in the day before the wedding and were leaving the week after. We couldn’t find a family member to leave it with. We really tried not to bring the box to the wedding but really didn’t have another resonable option.

Post # 12
473 posts
Helper bee

My biggest issues revolve around RSVPs… I didn’t realize they were such a big deal until I joined the hive. I did not RSVP to the weddings I didn’t attend because I felt bad saying no. Maybe if I don’t send the card, they will forget they sent me one and won’t be hurt when I don’t show up… They were both out-of-state weddings of second cousins that we only see every other year and are not close to at all. Still, now I see the error of my ways. 

We also didn’t RSVP but showed up anyway to FI’s stepbrother’s shotgun wedding. But, in our defense, our invitation was totally an afterthought by them and something that was forced by his dad, so we didn’t get the invitation until <2 weeks before the wedding, long after the RSVP date… I don’t feel too bad about that. But I do feel bad about not getting them a gift. Tongue Out +1 on the super, duper, uber poor college student…

I also have yet to RSVP to FSIL’s bridal shower. I really don’t want to go, but it’s family, so I know I have to… I still have two weeks before the date. I will RSVP eventually. 

Post # 13
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@lolot:  this is a thing?!?! i NEVER get gifts for people if i can’t go!!! i wouldn’t expect people to get us gifts either.


I once went to the reception only of a wedding as a coworkers date. I was like 19 and had no idea… As soon as I got there I realized how awkward/awful it was, faked sick and got my roommate to pick me up!

for my own wedding – I used labels for the addresses. and I didn’t send invitations to grown children not living at home. We are having a destination wedding so I’m okay with this. We just said __________ & family. Deal with it, everybody.



Post # 14
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Yeah, I cringe at all the faux pas I pulled in my late teens/early 20s (I know better now!):

1. When my family was invited to a family friend’s wedding, my brother could not make it so I asked if my bf of the time could go in his place. I felt really stupid when I got there, b/c you could tell that they were on a strict and small budget and would have probably preferred that it be just my parents and me instead of my parents, me, and my bf at the time (who they never met). ::Blush:: I now always pay attention to the envelopes when I get invites.

2. I was also part of the brought-a-huge-boxed-gift-to-wedding crowd. I seriously had no idea that it was considered rude… it was back in 2005-2006. I now give pretty Papyrus cards with money.

3. I ignored an RSVP – this I have no idea how I did. The bride and her crew had to um, chase me down. Now I promptly drop the RSVPs in the mail and really hope that the karma gods are being good in this department b/c I am getting my RSVPs back now.

4. I didn’t know that you give gifts at both a wedding AND a bridal shower. Hence, I only got gifts for the bridal shower and um, went empty-handed to the wedding. ::CRINGE::

5. This was more recent, but yes, I’ve been “that girl” who had too much fun with the open bar and cleaned the bartender of bloody mary mix. Yup.

I promise I have learned and am better-behaved at weddings now especially since I will have my OWN in November. 🙂

Post # 15
3841 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It happened at the first wedding I attended – I was in my late teens, and very much the proverbial clueless country bumpkin.  It was a super lavish event, with the reception at a very upscale country club.  I needed to use the ladies room and on my way back to the reception was surprised to see the entire wedding party standing, lined up, in the hall just outside the dining area.  They were about to be introduced by the DJ but I had *no* idea….  anyway I walked by them to get back to my table and, in doing so, lost my balance (the carpet was about five inches thick and hard to walk on)  and stepped (hard) on the father of the bride’s foot.  He was so gracious about it – makes me feel even worse.  I cringe at the memory…..

Post # 16
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I don’t cover my plate at FI’s family weddings because 1) I can’t afford to travel, miss work, AND by a large gift and 2) I know that my MIL’s check will cover everyone’s plate. 

Really, it’s the bride and groom’s fault for getting married when I have so little disposable income! 😛

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