What habits do you wish you'd nipped in the bud at an early age?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Nanny bee, but I would encourage you to stress independence and self-efficacy from an early age. I deal with an entitled 10 year old who throws a fit if you ask her to do the smallest thing for herself (like get her shoes from upstairs or get the toy she wants from the closet, nothing huge) or does it but then expects an immediate reward. I would teach your DD that she is a capable person, and it is her responsibility to care for herself (on developmentally appropriate levels, of course). I care for this girl so much. She’ll even be in my wedding, and she calls me her sister. However, I am sometimes frustrated by her lack of personal responsibility. She’ll throw trash on the floor without a care, or thoughtlessly grind pieces of cereal into the carpet, or empty a drawer to look for one thing, because she’s never been made to clean it up. My future children, should I be lucky enough to have them, will have household responsibilities if they also want priveleges like an allowance and time with friends.

Post # 6
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

iarebridezilla:  I agree, it can be tough. Even when they’re old enough, they start out doing things much slower and not as well. It’s so much easier to just do it, especially if they’re going to resist. Louis C.K. used the example of borad games. His daughter, just learning, slowly counting out the spaces, and him wanting to just be like, “Go here, it’s here, that’s the spot, you’re done.” It takes an incredible amount of patience to let a child slooooooooooowly learn rather than jump in and have it be done, but let’s just say my parents had to teach me laundry when I left for college, and you do not want that 😛

Post # 7
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Here is the thing as you know each child is different so something you see another parent lets or doesn’t let their child do. You may need to or not let your child do.  For example my son loves playing with my hair.  IT is a comfort thing, he only does it to me (he has done since he was a baby) .  Sure as a toddler now he does sometimes tend to actually pull it hard. I try to teach him don’t pull hair.  He can still play with my hair because I know it calms him down but not to pull it.

I think it should be try not to judge people on how they raise their child.  Which we all know we all do. There is a lot of mommy judging and more than anything I try not to judge another parent for something

Post # 10
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

iarebridezilla: To offer another perspective on the bottle holding thing, it may actually be beneficial to you in the long run to hold the bottle for her. Then she learns that bottles are held by adults, and the situation does not come to a point where she is toddling around, bottle in hand when you want to break the bottle habit and move to a sippy cup. I found that it was a fairly easy transition to the sippy cup because bottles were for cuddling with Mom holding the bottle, whereas a sippy cup was for sitting up, seeing the world, and DS being encouraged to hold it on his own.

Post # 12
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

iarebridezilla:  You have to do what you feel is right for your child. Stop basing your parenting decisions on what others do.

 

Post # 14
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m not a parent yet (baby due in November/December), but I babysit on occasion and one thing I’ve taken home from that is that I’ll not be fidgety with food. If alternative after alternative is provided as soon as the kid show the slightest tendency to not want to eat, of course they’ll pick up that they can be difficult with food and use that as a power tool.

So, if our child doesn’t want to eat, well then that’s fine, there will be another meal. I highly doubt he or she will starve to death on pure stubbornness. 

Post # 15
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m glad I trained my kids to sleep in their own rooms, all night, from an early age. Sleeping issues (as I learned from FI’s kid) are a nightmare.

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