What happened to waiting to tell people!?!

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@globalmargaret:  I have noticed this too. My best friend told me when she was barely 9 weeks. I definitely found it odd. I think with social media today people just can’t help themselves.

Post # 4
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s completely a personal choice, there’s nothing wrong with telling people whenever you want, as long as you’re willing to tell everyone if something happens. Truth is, bad things can happen in pregnancy wether its the first trimester or third.

Post # 5
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I find it odd to announce it to the world before 2nd trimester (especially on social media.. ew).

I think that it’s probably ok to tell your immediate family and BFF before that time… like I don’t think I could help myself. I can’t keep a secret. I would probably say something like “I know it’s early and I could still miscarry but I can’t help but share the news… keep your fingers crossed for me and don’t tell anyone else!!!”.

Post # 6
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

One of my friends told everyone at 6 weeks.  Four weeks later, she had to tell everyone she miscarried.  I can’t imagine how painful it is to tell everyone you’ve miscarried.  Sad ….

Post # 7
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@globalmargaret:  We have a cousin that announced on FB one day shy of 10 weeks. Here I was 12 weeks at the time and still had not formally announced. I was pretty surprised but to each their own I suppose.

Post # 9
7233 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@globalmargaret:  When I first got pregnant (many years ago, almost no internet) no one told us when we should share the news. We did it when it felt right.

I could be wrong, but I wonder if “wait until 2nd trimester to tell” is simply the more recent medical advice.

Post # 10
1026 posts
Bumble bee

I know a girl who got an early positive on a FRER, and posted to facebook that day. Freaked me right out.


Each to their own.


I wouldn’t want to have to take that announcement back……


Post # 11
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

People need to think things through before they post online, because if that kid hasn’t been caught on camera with a heartbeat and everything yet… well, my friend has this saying:

“Take a picture or it didn’t happen”.

Enough said. I would definitely wait until the first proper ultrasound at 10-12 weeks.

Post # 13
2857 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I told a few friends before the twelve week mark, and when I had a miscarriage, I was actually really glad that I had shared because those friends were able to support me through it. And while yes, it sucks to have to tell people that you are not pregnant anymore, I think it’s much better than just keeping the whole thing a secret and suffering in complete silence. But that’s just my decision – I can understand how others wouldn’t want to spill the beans too early. But for me, I was thrilled that close friends and family were able to share in our joy when our baby was alive and were there to comfort us when I lost him. 

Post # 14
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I was pregnant a long time ago, and although I didn’t shout it from the rooftops, I did not keep it hidden.  Fortunately, everything turned out okay but even if it didn’t, there is no shame in having a miscarriage.  Actually, I would be so devastated people would probably be asking me what’s wrong anyhow. 

Post # 15
2857 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I also kind of feel like the whole culture of secrecy surrounding miscarriage makes it eztra painful for women who have to go through it. Sort of like how cancer was treated a few decades ago… People wouldnt even talk about it, they’d whisper about “the C word” and it’s just so isolating. Its been obvious that I’m having a difficult time dealing with mine, and when more peripheral friends ask me what’s wrong, I am mostly choosing to tell them the truth… and realizing how incredibly common it is. Almost everyone I’ve spoken with has had a miscarriage or knows someone who has (a mom, a wife, a sister). Saying that early pregnancy *should* be a secret makes it feel like a miscarriage is something to be ashamed of, and it’s not. When we are brave enough to talk about it, I think we really do a wonderful thing for the mamas-to-be who come after us. 

Post # 16
254 posts
Helper bee

It is becoming a trend I think.  Same with calling the unborn baby by its name. Ive seen a few people post pictures of their positive tests up on facebook as soon as they find out. Way too early, plus not classy in my opinion.

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