what happened when you contacted people who didn't RSVP?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@daynalenore:  Honestly, I was nervous about it, but I’m so glad we did.  Several of our guests were in the process of moving and didn’t receive their invites, so they thought they weren’t invited!  We called them early enough that they were able to join us on our wedding day.

Post # 4
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

They were just lazy or stupid or busy and didn’t get it in (and we had online RSVPs so it took 5 seconds, one click of a button). I had to sit down my cousin in law school and watch her over her shoulder as she RSVP’ed since I knew she was coming (she was a bridesmaid and already bought her dress, but I needed to know what she and her bf were eating, so they had to RSVP) but also knew she was HORRIBLE at getting things done. Everybody we contacted just said “oh crap I’m an idiot I forgot” and pretty much immediately then RSVP’ed, it was no big deal.

Post # 5
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@daynalenore:  I was in my best friends wedding earlier this month, and one of the people who didn’t send in their RSVP was another BRIDESMAID! Obviously she was coming, but she didn’t send back the RSVP..Even though it was already stamped and everything! I think people forget, or people ASSUME you know they’re coming, etc etc etc. There can be lots of reasons 🙂 Just be brave, and be okay with whatever answer they give.

Post # 6
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I had some who hadn’t received the invitation, some who said they didn’t send it in but “of course” were coming (um…ok), and most said they wouldn’t be able to make it. I don’t really remember the process, maybe because most of them were my family members (so my parents did it), or FI’s family members (so MIL did it).

Post # 7
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@daynalenore:  I am going to be dealing with this very soon as I just sent out my invitations yesterday.

What i PLAN to do is just assume they are not coming. If you can’t give me the courtesy to simply just check off the “no” box, I am not going to give you the courtesy phone call to see if you are coming. I also don’t want to make them feel like “i need you to come” you know what I mean? Us brides make it very easy for you, the RSVP envelope is already stamped, and the return address is already written for you!! All you have to do is check yes or no. And if they can’t do that, then I can’t pick up the phone lol

Post # 8
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

How did most of you guys contact the guests who didn’t rsvp? Phone call? Text or some other way? I feel so awkward but I will definitely have to do this to a significant number of our invited guests!

Post # 11
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I hate to be the debbie downer of this conversation but…I contacted a couple of the people who didn’t RSVP – two were the most awkward conversations of my life and the others didn’t ever bother to respond to my message.  It was very deflating/hurtful and if I were to do it again I would probably just go with, if you didn’t bother to spend the time to put my already addressed, postage paid card in the mail I don’t need to spend the time chasing you down or worrying about feeding/seating/paying for you to be at my wedding.  

Post # 12
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@daynalenore:  Right? I want to gently nudge those who are planning on coming, without getting in an awkward/embarassing situation with those who were declining via no response!

I think Im going to get my feelings hurt if I just never hear back from people! If I cared enough about you to invite you and hand-make your invite I would hope people would care enough to check a box and send the postage-paid and addressed rsvp back!

Post # 13
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Because our wedding was around the 4th of July, we figured people were doing other things, and we were correct. It was kind of awkward calling and being like, “Hey. I haven’t received a response and I was just wondering if you were joining us on our wedding day?” Everyone was really nice and got back to us. Most people we reached becuase we made sur to call after 6 at night.

Post # 14
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Everyone was really nice about it, I just did Facebook messages for my friends and most responses were something like, “Oh so sorry I forgot!” and then either told me right away or went to the online RSVP site. I had my parents contact their own friends/family, and just hope your mom doesn’t do what mine did: I sent her an email saying “I need to know if the friends you wanted to invite are coming” and she forwarded them that email!

Post # 15
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

I think if they are close relatives friends, or wedding party members, I would call them.  Most likely they assumed you KNEW they were coming.   

If they are  friend/ acquaintances of parents, i would ask parents to contact them. 

If they are anyone else, I think I would assume no. 

My daughters wedding is very small and everyone falls in the first category. Several of them have made flight and lodging reservations but not rsvp’d.  Why not?  it’s not very hard…we even have online RSVP T make it super easy. ( don’t worry we took care of the older folks who might find that difficult).

Post # 16
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Two said they sent it and never got it and are coming.

Maybe 5 said they just didn’t mail it.

2 just didn’t sent it and aren’t coming.

 

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