Post # 1
Okay, I know that sounds like a ridiculous question, but I have not been to very many weddings and most of them were in a church (we won’t be having ours in a church).
Anywho! We’re meeting with an officiant on Sunday and I don’t even know what is going to happen. The reception I got figured out. I love party planning and can give advice up and down the board about receptions. But I have no clue what we’re suppose to do for the ceremony. And that is the most important part!!
Here is what I know:
- People process down the aisle
- Officiant gives a blessing?
- People do some readings
- Something about a unity candle (no clue if I even want to do that)
- Vows (we will NOT be writing our own)
- We get married (yay!)
- People recess
I mean, is that the gist of it? I know that the officiant we’re meeting with will probably have sample ceremonies for us to look at or something, but I don’t want to go into this meeting totally clueless!
Talk to me about your ceremony!
Post # 3
I think it’s pretty much whatever you want to happen. My FI and I aren’t religious, so we’re just going to process down the aisle with our bridal party, have the officiant say a few words, read our vows, kiss, and process back. We’re expecting it to take about fifteen minutes. :p
On the other hand, his family is mostly Catholic and we just went to his cousin’s wedding which lasted a full hour because they had a mass which involved the procession, a homily, readings from the Bible, hymns, the exchanging of the vows, prayers, communion, and then processing back up the aisle.
It really all depends on what you want. I’ve seen some weddings where the bridal party didn’t even process down the aisle at all but instead had everyone standing up front at the beginning. Maybe ask some friends and family that are married what they did for their ceremony to get some ideas about what you want. The officiant might have some ideas too, but I think the ceremony will be more personal and special to you if you inject some of your own ideas into it. Either way, I’m sure your ceremony will be great!
Post # 4
Greeting and foundation (or sermon if you’re in a church)
Post # 5
You can design it however you want! Ours basically went like this:
statement of intent
love letter ceremony
homily (sermon– totally can skip this if you aren’t religious)
exchange of rings
blessing of rings
Post # 6
@faoiltiama: Thanks! I guess I don’t know what I want? I’m the first of my friends to get married…. so I’m reaching out to everyone here for some ideas. 😀
@iRun2004: Wait, the rings and vows don’t go together?? Hahahah, do you see how clueless I am?!
Post # 7
@TinyTina: no, vows are the “i promise to this that and the other” and the exchange of rings are the “i give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you etc”
Post # 8
@CorgiTales: Ah okay.. Thank you for clarifying!!
I’m not sure how religious our ceremony is going to be. We’re causing all sorts of turmoil by not getting married the church, so my mom keeps pushing for a more religious ceremony… I’m not sure if that’s what we want.
My MOH is going to sing though, gotta remember to add that in somewhere…..
Post # 9
I’m copy/pasting our declaration of intention, vows, and exchange of rings so you can see the difference. It was something I was confused about as well before I started working on the ceremony.
Declaration of intention (minister read the whole thing and you just answer I Do):
Do you, _____, offer yourself wholly and joyfully, and do you choose ______ as the person with whom you will share your life, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, loving what you know of her, and trusting what you do not know yet, for as long as you both shall live? (I do)
Vows (these the minister reads and you repeat):
I, ____, take you ____ to be my wife and my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I promise to love you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. To live with you and laugh with you. To stand by your side and to sleep in your arms. To be the most that I can be for you, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the woman you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.
Exchange of rings (minister reads and you repeat):
“I give you this ring as a sign that I choose you.â€¨ I promise from this day forward you shall not walk alone. May my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home. Wear it, think of me, and know that I love you.”
Post # 10
I recommend printing out a bunch of the Bee ceremony recaps. That’s what we did. We ended up using a lot of their words/ceremony parts to write our own ceremony.
I recommend starting with “Nearly Nautical” and “The Luckiest” (I think you should find those if you search.
Post # 11
Also if you google officiants some of them have sample ceremonies on their websites. That’s where I started.
Post # 12
@CorgiTales: Ah that is super helpful, thank you!!
@iRun2004: & @Gerbera: Awesome. Going to do some googling and searching through recaps now. Thanks!!
Post # 13
Ours was very short and simple:
We both walk down the aisle
Officiant reads some things
One reading from a friend
Second friend reads a different thing
Officiant finishes up
We kiss, we leave
We didn’t do a unity candle or anything like that. We also only had music for the procession in, and just one song (there were not a lot of people processing in and the procession took less than one full song!). The whole thing took maybe 20 minutes or less.
Our officiant had some sample scripts that we could cut and paste from to make our desired script/vows. That helped a lot. The readings we picked on our own without help from our officiant, although she had suggestions for that too that we could have used.
Post # 14
our ceremony break down goes like this:
(after the people sit & we gather)
- solemnizer/statement of intent
- explantation of handfasting followed by the “hands” reading (during which we will do the bindings–not spoken/read ‘promises’ but the literal knots)
- exchange of rings
- married! kisses and joyous merriment
then we will ‘recess’ and proceed with the merry making.
I definitely found a lot of inspiration from the bees’ recaps as well as the ceremony section in general. Our officiant gave us like 3 example ceremonies to play with & after brainstorming a lot we wrote the entire ceremony ourselves.
Post # 15
I can send you my entire ceremony written out if you want! Its on my computer right now and that way you can see each part and what is included. PM me if you are interested!
Post # 16
All I’ve managed to do so far is get teary eyed over some of the readings. Haha. I think I understand the order of events better.
Another question. Probably one that the officiant can help me with, but I’m just curious.
Before the ceremony… Who gets escorted in and is there a specific order? I guess FMIL and FFIL walk in together? Then who walks my mom in?? My brother is a groomsman. Does he walk my mom in and then go stand with the other guys at the front? (The groomsmen aren’t going to walk in with the bridesmaids) What about grandparents?