Post # 1
FI and I want to keep this wedding as small as possible- we went overboard on pretty much everything and would like to keep our numbers down to kind of even out the cost (plus I don’t want to spend the whole night greeting people).
I don’t want to get into the whole story, but basically I had 4 great friends during college who are all invited. I haven’t talked to one of them in a while but I’m far away so it happens.. so I still sent her a STD. Long story short, I asked her to come to Vegas for my Bach party ages, she couldn’t afford it and i understood.. until today when he facebook says that she and some of her other friends (from college) all decided today to book a trip to Vegas ONE WEEK BEFORE MY BACH PARTY. Its not a big deal that she did this, people grow apart, I’m not mad. But it kind of clears it up that she’s not really a close friend anymore. Do I still invite her?? Like honestly I’m having an 85 person wedding and about 70-75 of those people are family. I just feel like its a waste to have her there.
Post # 3
I don’t think you can un-invite her without looking super catty. I would still invite her and hope she didn’t show. lol
Plus, who knows, maybe she’s not paying for the trip she’s going on?
Post # 4
Im so totally laid back about this stuff so I vote that if you don’t want to you don’t have to. Etiquette says otherwise I believe. Just make sure you are okay with the friendship ending, because I would presume that would occur.
Post # 5
I say you still have to invite her if you sent a STD. If she’s really not that great of a friend anymore and doesn’t care enough, she won’t come.
Post # 6
You mean besides the etiquette gods smiting you?
I would think if you’ve drifted apart, the people in question have felt it too, and may not even be expecting one. I personally don’t feel like this rule applies to people you’ve had a change of relationship to, but more like if you decide all of a sudden that it’s so much cheaper to have a 100 person wedding, rather than a 300.
Post # 7
I say you only invite who you want to. I had a few people I gave STD’s too and they ended up being pretty shady in the end. I will not be inviting them after all.
Post # 8
I think you have to do what is right for you. You are probably going to get a few reponses to this question stating that etiquette-wise, you are obligated to invite her. But I think, considering that there are 10-15 invitations reserved for dear friends, not family members, you have to invite who is truly and deeply important to you and your FI. And she doesn’t sound like is all that important in your life anymore, so I don’t think she deserves an invitation at this point. And it’s better that you found out before the wedding, than later when you might have wasted an invitation on someone who wasn’t so deserving of one. It would be different if you were having a 150+ person wedding.
Post # 9
Thanks guys, good advice all around.. I think I’m going to just hold onto her invite and see if I hear from her (I have time, I mean the wedding is in June- I’m not even sending out invitations for a couple months) before deciding.