Post # 1
So I just posted on another thread about having a dream about getting a terrible engagement ring. I was just wondering if anyone that is engaged has been a little disapointed in the ring they received and what they did about it.
I know that ideally its supposed to be about the symbolism of the ring, but what happens if you just didn’t get what you want?
Post # 3
if i didnt like my ring…. i would make sure its insured and then accidently lose it
evil i know……
Post # 4
I think traditionally the man buys the diamond, and then the woman can change the setting if she likes. I would try to express my ring preference ahead of time. Little hints can go a long way, or recruit a girlfriend to make sure you get what you want. If you really don’t like it, wait a week or two and then gently let him know you like to change it.
I avoided the issue by picking out my own ring.. 🙂
Post # 6
I indicated what styles I liked, but ultimately, I didn’t pick the exact ring.
One of my friends was so proud of the ring he picked for his now wife. He showed it to me and told me about the whole experience. Well, she HATED IT!! He took it back and got something she liked. It didn’t seem to bother him too much.
Post # 7
I picked out my own ring but not by choice I just happened to fall in love with a ring but I pointed it out because I thought it would be something Mr. M would get me!!!!
I know from all the other jewelry that he has bought me that he has GREAT taste – but if you are worried just drop hints.
Post # 8
Okay, so here’s what I did. A girl who I knew and we were friends with had a ring I REALLY loved. I Kept saying over and over how much I loved this and that about that particular ring. Well FI got mine from the same exact place … he heard all my comments and I got exactly what I wanted 🙂
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Mine is definitely a beautiful ring but….not quite my dream ring but close enough that it’s not worth saying anything 🙂
Post # 10
I have been dealing with this issue for a couple months. I like my ring, I do. But it is not what I picked out!
Here is the story: We went ring shopping after our 3 yr anniversary. Looked at a couple and then fell in LOVE with the kind I thought i wouldn’t want. He was like “yes, that is perfect!” and all that stuff, really ecxited about it. We even found the perfect band to match. Well they write down the number and everything because he was going to come back later and do all the stuff.
SO later he goes back and gets both rings. Then he tells me this story about how they wrote down the wrong ring and he had to tell them it is the wrong one and how he KNOWS it is this one. I was like uh oh. (He does not do a good job of paying attention to anything that is not sports) but thought to myself- he was in love with the one I picked out as much as I was, so I didn’t worry. But I asked him what shape it was, he said round (uh oh)… he didn’t remember.
a couple weeks go by and he proposes. I am so excited he committed to be with me forever, and I cant wait to see my ring…he opens the box… i didn’t even try this type of ring on.
SO dissapointed he didn’t pay attention. But he thought he had the right one, and he was so proud of himself for telling the lady the “right” one. I could not tell him it wasn’t the same. Now I feel sad sometimes when I see others with the same type of ring, and I get mad at him for not paying attention to a memorable moment we had together!
Sorry it is so long, I needed to vent about it. I am getting to love my ring, but the one I picked was THE ONE. i haven’t felt like that before, except when I met my FI. I hope I feel like that when I go dress shopping. But I could never tell him because it would hurt his feelings. *SIGH*
Post # 11
Before we got engaged, my fiance and I looked at so many rings, and I couldn’t find any ring that I loved every part of. I had such a specific type in mind, and nothing we looked at matched it. I’m really really glad we did this, because if we hadn’t, he would have picked something out that I wouldn’t have liked.
We ended up going to a jeweler his mom knew, who custom-designed my ring. I got a ring that was EXACTLY what I wanted, and I’m not sad at all that I guided him through what I wanted.
Post # 12
@eloping – you crack me up with your responses!! ha ha
I have no idea what my BF is getting, he says he already has the ring, but I have NO idea…
Post # 13
I love my diamond. I like my ring. The band is kind of crazy w/ lots of smaller diamonds. I loved it at first, but its slowly starting to bug me. I am a clean freak! This ring gets really dirty, really fast & no bands fit with it.
As much as it kills me, I’m probably going to get a more classic setting. Knowing my FI, he’s going to take it back & never buy me another piece of bling lol.
So I’ll probably live with it for a little while longer. Ugh… I shouldn’t have said anything! I’m getting annoyed right now by how dirty it is!!!
Post # 14
@debe- what did you want and what did you get?
Post # 15
FI and I discussed this possibility because my friend got engaged last year and she and I disagreed about the topic. I said if I didn’t like the engagement ring (and let’s be honest here – I was so ready to get engaged it would have had to be B.A.D.) I would tell him and ask if we could pick something else out together. My friend said she would never say anything because she wouldn’t want to hurt her FI’s feelings. My reasoning was that if he’s going to be my husband and we’re going to share our lives together I would definitely be able to talk to him about something like the engagement ring. Otherwise it probably didn’t bode well for more serious topics later.
So when FI and I talked about it he said he would definitely want to know if I didn’t like the ring he picked out. We knew he was going to pick it out by himself – we both wanted the surprise to be there. I gave some guidance such as I would like white gold b/c that is what my mom has and I didn’t want a ring with ‘right angles’ like emerald or princess because I don’t like how they look on my hand but otherwise he did it all himself. And I was THRILLED. I sometimes don’t believe it’s really there! And it’s been almost 4 months!
So I think if you don’t like your ring you should probably talk to FI about it – odds are he’ll be happy if you’re happy!
Post # 16
Ooo we had a big discussion about this. i wanted to pick out my ring. Why? Because i’d been staring at them for months and knew what i wanted and what I really disliked. He felt i should just accept whatever he gets me and be grateful and to tell him otherwise is rude. Well, if i made him dinner out of the bottom fo my heart, I don’t expect him to lie to me about enjoying it. So i spun that on him: i didn’t want to lie to him by telling him i liked it when i hated it. we went ring shopping and played a game. I asked him to pick out what he’d buy me and i’d tell him my opinions of the rings in the cases. Go figure he picked out stuff totally not my taste. Then i started basically slamming the rings. In a nice way. “i don’t like X about this one” and “i like this part of it, but not this part”. and on and on and on. There was only one ring i ever really loved that i found online. He actually proposed with a solitaire (i told him no round diamonds–everybody has one and i wanted him to find something unique) cushion diamond and took me setting shopping. I thought it was so sweet that he actually proposed WITH the diamond, not just an empty box. He even put it in white gold. We still played the “what would you get me” game and he was way off–some weird step princess band with teeny round diamonds in the corners of each princess stone. Imagine a small princess diamond and at each corner point there’s a round one! His reason was b/c it was a 3/4 ct setting. Well it was uuuuugly. I told all the jewelers what I wanted and one found it. Tada! Done. The only thing I disliked about my ring is that cushions are deep with a smaller face value and it doesn’t stand out b/c of the wideness of my setting. You really lost the engagmenet stone and I hated to be like, “oh actually it needs to be 2 carats so you can see it better!”. It did bug me throughout the engagement and we probsably should have picked a setting first, then the stone size that would best fit. Even a 1.5 would have been better. But, now that I have my wedding bands on, the whole look of it has changed and low and behold, it doesn’t bother me at ALL now!
But ultimately, he didn’t want me to *lie* to him about loving it and I didn’t want to feel guilted into wearing a FOREVER piece of jewelry that wasn’t to my liking. He wanted me to be happy, and he and I just don’t share taste in jewelry for that to happen.