Post # 1
Do you stay friends with both of them? We were pretty close with a couple and went out with them regularly. We pretty much only hung out as couples, though. They had been together for years and were on the brink of getting engaged (he just bought a ring) and seemingly out of nowhere she broke up with him.
I feel terrible for him. I suppose we were friends with him first and it feels like we are on his “side”, but it is kind of weird that I would never get together or chat with his ex anymore. So I’m curious–if you have couple friends that break up, what happens? Are you able to stay friends with both?
Post # 3
My only serious relationship other than FI was with a guy for 4 years. My best friend (since we were 10) and her boyfriend were our go to couple we did everything together. So naturally my best friends boyfriend and my boyfriend became really close. Well me and my boyfriend broke up and that was 5 years ago and they still hang out with him to this day. I honestly dont really know how I feel about it to this day to tell you the truth. I understand they became good friends so I get that (I broke up with him for the record and wanted to stay friends because hes a fantastic guy but I just didnt feel that way about him anymore) but I guess it bothers me because they have a friendship with him and I dont. He says he cant hang out with me and see me with FI because it still hurts him so I also get where he is coming from but I just wish we could all be friends but I dont think that will ever happen….. SO what Im getting at is I dont think theres anything wrong with staying friends with her as long as your friend doesnt have a problem with it but it might hurt him that you guys get to see her and he doesnt, just ask him how he feels about it but also dont chat about her infront of him if you and her carry on a friendship because that could hurt his feelings.
Post # 4
@LauraRose: I think that’s it, he is so devastated and feels so betrayed by her, I almost feel like it would be disloyal to him to stay in touch with her, even though we were friends with both of them.
Post # 5
My DH and I were friends with two people who later on began dating. I knew the guy since I was in kintergarden and met the girl in 8th grade when she moved to my school. My DH became friends with the guy in 6th grade and got to know the girl in 9th. The friends started dating when we were in 12th grade.
When they broke up in college we tried not to pick sides, though it was the guy’s fault. I was there to support her and DH supported the guy. It has been a few years since the break up happened, DH and I are still friends with both people, in fact they were both in our wedding. The two of them have moved on and the girl is now engaged and is very happy while the guy is dating the girl he broke up with our friend for. I don’t think it is a big deal to be friends with both people. Just give it some time so they can grieve and move on with life and they probably won’t care that you also are friends with their ex. I would hate to have to pick one friend over the other just because they broke up and I’m sure they understand since they most likely don’t want to loose a friend on top of loosing a SO.
Post # 6
I think you can remain friends with both if you want. Obviously you won’t be doing couples things anymore but I wouldn’t hide the fact from either that you still talk to the other person, and if one person starts trash talking I would just say you aren’t getting in the middle of it etc. If one makes you feel more uncomfortable then I would just step back from the friendship.
Post # 7
Im in this situation too. We have two friends who actually helped us get together, and we always imagined them together at our wedding. Here they were doing a long distance relationship and they broke up because of her. I love them both. She hasn’t even told me they broke up yet and it was months ago. I’m inviting them both solo to the wedding. I keep imagining how cute it would be if they got together at mine, but I know that’s just unrealistic. It is really awkward too because for a while I was totally against the guy, but he really turned around and shes the one messing up now.
Good luck with yours, I know what you’re going through.
Post # 8
don’t get in the drama, don’t allow them to bash each other infront of you. You are now sweden. Let it be.
Post # 9
I don’t even want to imagine that situation at all. Worst comes to worst, I guess I would have to be friends with the one that I was originally friends with unless I know it is an amicable separation where it wouldn’t be weird for them to hang out with the big group.
I had it actually come up recently where the guy was contemplating breaking up with the girl. Put me in a bad spot since I was friends with the girl longer and didn’t want to lose the guy as a friend either. In the end he didn’t break it off, but I still have that thought in my head.
Post # 10
I’d like to know too! I just found out last night about a 3 couple of friends and acquaintances that have broken up from very seriousong term living together type relationships. Why is everyone breaking up?!? And it’s so awkward. All three sets of couples have been pretty amicable about, and I only found out a couple of weeks after the fact with two sets. But seriously, it’s difficult.