Post # 1
I was doing some thinking tonight and although my relationship isn’t without its share of difficulties, I am really amazed by how easy it has been to merge finances with my FI. You see, I grew up as an only child and now, after nearly 12 years of working and making my own money, I thought it might be more difficult to shift from a “mine” mindset to “ours”. We still have separate accounts where we get a little fun money to spend on ourselves as we please, but the lion’s share of the money goes towards our bills and debt – regardless of who it “belongs” to. Any conversation that has come up about who contributes what or how and where to spend our money has gone smoothly. I’m so pleasantly surprised by it all since I thought this would be more of a hurdle for us than it has been so far.
So tell me – what has gone better than expected for you?
Post # 3
Meeting with and being around his family has been ridiculously easy for me. They even paid for an extra spot on their Bahamas trip for me (though I couldn’t go). As someone who comes from a family with a different mindset, this was wonderful for me to experience. I feel like I am already married into his family. In college, I was spending most breaks with him and I used to go home with him on random weekends. It is so nice to be accepted into his family. I had always heard about awkward family meetings and then of course monstrous in-laws and I am happy to say that I never had to experience this.
Post # 4
1. Money – no arguments to date
2. Help around the house – FI is so amazing helping me with the little things and doesn’t need to be asked
3. Travelling – was surprised we didn’t argue about anything, always helped each other, wanted to do similar things…phew!
Post # 5
It has been amazing how my DH family has accepted my daughter from my first marriage as one of their own family. I was surprised how smoothly that went after hearing horror stories other places.
Post # 6
Living together! We get along so well, we fought a little when we first moved in, but I love living with my SO! We both do chores, cook, pay the rent all that good stuff. I’m a lucky girl to have such a great guy to live with, he’s a neat freak like me 🙂
Post # 7
Living together and moving out of my parents. Although I miss them it has been so easy and lovely living together. We have such a laugh. I miss my dogs terribly though!!
Post # 8
- Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.
Defintiely living together has always been one. We’ve done it literally before we were dating a full month and it just feels so natural.It was foreign to me before we found a place again.
Finances, we’ve always been the “what’s mine is yours” type so that’s a breeze,too.
Post # 9
This is probably a strange addition, but I never expected our affections for each other to come so easily. I’m a pretty stoic person, and I don’t even give so much as a shoulder pat to someone unless if I’ve known them for a very long time. I just don’t like to touch other people, but with my FI it’s just hand holding and hugs and snuggles all the time. So I’m sure that to other people that’s very unexpected, lol.
Post # 10
FI and I spent 4 years long distance during college. After I graduated we moved in together. We were bracing ourselves for having arguments and difficulties living together, especially because I was moving out of an abusive roommate situation, but it went super smoothly. We had a small spat over where the peanut butter belongs (fridge vs cabinet, I won) and things were a bit stressful when we were both unemployed for 3 months, but other than that it’s been smooth sailing. It just feels natural to live together. Every now and then FI will ask me to do some chore because it’s bugging him and he doesn’t have time to do it, and I repeatedly ask him to make better friends with the trash can but it’s no big deal because our communication is so great.
Post # 11
Living together! I’ve had roommates, other bfs, etc I’ve lived with and it’s never been as easy or as comfortable as with FI.
Post # 12
Housework: DH is so great about helping out with everything!
Living together: Man, it was seriously a breeze for the fist 9 months but work called and we are LDR again 🙁
Money: We seem to never have issues with going over finances
Fighting: Everyone fights but fighting with him isn’t like fighting at all! We get upset and have “me” time and them come back together to talk it out. It is SO wonderful and easy! I feel like we never have problems because we are so ontop of it 🙂
Post # 13
umm the fact that we have never really fought, which is weird and scary that we haven’t in itself. (Ex, and I used to fight like an old married couple, so it was strange going from a fighting relationship to not at all). Doesn’t mean that we don’t get upset or annoyed with each other, we are just good at talking it out, or letting it go.
Post # 15
Echoing what some other people have said – LIVING TOGETHER!
I spent two years of grad school practically in solitary confinement. I like to be alone and the idea that he would ALWAYS be around was slightly sufficating. Somehow we moved in and things just worked… I was uneasy about marriage before that but living together made it an easy decision!
Post # 16
@Sassyfras27: Like some PP (yourself included) merging finances has been really easy for us, sharing duties and expectations around the house has been a breeze, and most surprisingly, moving in together has a whole has been shockingly easy. (Perhaps this is because I was so miserably living in my prior arrangements, and I looked forward to living with him for so many years!