(Closed) What has changed???

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Nothing’s really changed for us. Not yet tho–we still don’t live together. It all still feels very much the same, just more permanent and official I guess =]. He does joke with me a lot about how I better do X b/c i’m his wife or do my wifely duty or something. He’s not being serious, I just think he likes to say it, but I do it too. Like the more we say “wife, husband, spouse” etc, the more “real” it feels.

Post # 4
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Well I know it’s only been a week but I’ll comment anyway πŸ™‚ We’ve lived together for over 4 years and we have joint checking and a home together… but even in the last week I feel closer to him. I know it sounds stupid but I feel like we’re in our own little private club that no one else can be part of–like we have something that no one else can be in on, be part of, or share with us. Our friend asked us the other day if we felt different and he said not really but when I asked him later on when it was just the two of us he admitted that he did feel closer to me. Calling him my “husband” now too feels a little weird but cool at the same time πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Nothing really has changed for us other than the hardware we now wear daily and that we call each other husband and wife (which still sounds weird yet). We have been together for about 4 years and have lived together for over a year so we felt married for a while now.

Like hcritton, we too feel a little bit closer. I can hear it in the way my hubby πŸ™‚ talks with me. It’s a bit strange and it is sooo hard to explain so I guess we are in our own little world too. Now all our conversations consists of babies, lol πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

It’s still pretty early for us too.  For the most part everything went back to the same when we got back, but like ejs4y8 said, he jokingly tells me I have “wife” duties now.  I agree that we feel closer for some reason too. 

Post # 7
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

It’s still early for us too but I just wanted to comment bc this has been the area in which I’ve been most surprised. We’ve been together for 5 years, engaged for 2, so I really didn’t expect much, if anything, to change. And nothing has overtly changed but something is different!! It’s subtle but totally there. It is kind of like this feeling of unity I guess, that just wasn’t there before. Even though it was… somehow, it wasn’t as noticable as it is now. It’s everything from when we’re with our parents we feel that much more connected (me to his parents and him to mine, and also I recongize my parents treating him genuinely more like a son whereas they didn’t nearly as much before..they were always good to him.. but now I don’t know.. it’s just so different!) to when we’re just doing our regular thing, I feel more connected. We are in the process of buying a new car and it just feels so much like something WE are doing, whereas before it would have felt like something HE was doing. Also just doing things for each other.. we did them before but now it just “feels” different. I don’t know how to best explain it so I guess I’ll stop trying but for me, there is something definitely different… in such an awesome way!!

Post # 8
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

we didnt live together before we married so its been pretty different. the first few weeks i was quite stressed because i just felt like i “had” to do everything and every time i was telling him my plans (ie, catching up with friends or buying a pair of shoes, booking in for a massage) i felt like i was asking for his permission – i had to learn its just being considerate and telling him my whereabouts

we’ve since settled down and he likes to call me “wife” alot – he seems to have forgotten my name and even introduces me as “this is my wife”… and thats it!

 

 

Post # 9
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

It wasn’t a big adjustment for us–we’ve been together for more than 7 years, and living together for more than 2, but I do feel different.  I don’t know if it’s necessarily closer, or just more settled.  I kind of feel like we’re in a nice little blanket–all bundled up and cozy and it’s just us, like hcritton said.  

I do feel like it’s a little different with our families: not that they didn’t support us and recognize us as a unit before, but maybe just the expectation that we’ll come as a pair most of the time.  (We’ve just started having discussions about the holidays this year and it’s going more swmoothly than it did last year, when we ultimately decided to spend the holidays apart.)

Post # 10
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Eastside Catholic Chapel and Lake Union Cafe

Nothing changed except for now that the planning over, we have more time together.

Post # 11
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m stil amazed after marriage how we keep getting closer, wanting to spend more time together, check in more often and talk more.  We’re more trusting and content.

We didn’t live together before marriage and we were very far apart distance-wise so I knew marriage was going to feel and be very different from our engagement in many ways.  But the biggest things are the emotional, social and spiritual connections that come with marriage and commitment.  They keep getting deeper.  Marriage is tons more fun than I thought it would be.  We live intertwined lives, and I love it. 

I’m so glad it was such a drastic change though…waiting for the privileges until the commitment was made really made the significance of our marriage sink in.  Though most people don’t do it this way, we definitely benefited.

Post # 12
Member
2682 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, other than being called “wife” and having a new last name nothing has really changed for us.  We do share money now and have a joint account when we didnt before but thats about it.  People ask me all the time how married life is and I say “almost the same as it was before”

Post # 13
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

After 2 months, we are definetly more connected and more of a unit. All around, we are just more happy and in love more it seems. There is just a settled feeling. It is hard to describe but from the posts above I am seeing that we all know what each is trying to explain.

The big thing I am noticing too is his family. I am extremely close to his immediate family, but everyone else is coming out of the woodwork. He has 6 aunts and uncles and cousins I have met and hung with numerous times before, but it seemed that until we were married, I was actually not considered significant until then. Now they talk to me all the time. I like it but also dont understand it.

Post # 14
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

So far, nothing. But is so nice to have the wedding over with!

Post # 15
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

It was kind of a slow change. We lived together first too. At first, it all seemed mostly the same, but now, 4 months out, it’s really grown. I really feel that togetherness, that us vs the world, and that we’re just our own little unit. Hubby says he doesnt feel a difference, but I do. I absolutely love it. I’m happier than I have been in a long time. Not that I was unhappy before, but I just really feel content and settled. It’s amazing πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

We were together about 4 years when we got married and lived together for a year before we were engaged.  I personally love being married, its not different in obvious ways, but its really made us even closer.  Having made that commitment is just a huge mental change, and one I love.  The way we plan our future together and make decisions is subtly different, everything feels like a partnership in a way that is different.

Other changes are that i realize my relationship is taken more seriously by others – for instance, at work, I can tell a difference in saying I need to see my husband vs. my boyfriend.  My husband also lost his job after we  were married and I know if it had happened while we were dating it would have been much harder for him to be ok being dependent on me …

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