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I think it's so interesting how different "real" weddings are outside of the blogworld. I've been moving along with all of my plans, and have kind of shocked by people's reactions to stuff that seems totally normal in the blogosphere but is almost rebellious outside of it!
I'm still confident and happy with all of my decision, I am just a little surprised by how few people (myself included) have been to weddings with non-traditional aspects vs. how many non-traditional weddings we see online!
The two main things that have elicited the scrunched up face and "really . . . . ?" from most people, are my colored shoes and lack of cake (having a dessert buffet complete with smores, a chocolate fountain and brownies). Once I tell them a little bit more about it, people get it and think it's neat, but those two things have started the most conversation!
I know so many of you girls are going a little outside of the lines when it comes to your weddings. What things that you're doing have gotten a "You're doing what?!?" response from people?
Wearing cork loubs
Having a club-circuit dj
Crayons
Kraft paper runners
1000 Cranes
Our whole engagement shoot
Need I go on? :p I think I just live to ruffle the feathers a little bit.
Really, colored shoes? I can't believe some people think that's surprising!
We're getting the stunned reactions from
-a non-church wedding
-I'm making the cake (hopefully)
-not having an open bar (beer, wine and signature drinks seem okay to me, but some people think it's cheap I guess.)
and I'm sure there will be more when people start hearing our details (i.e., I'm wearing colored shoes as well, we're not planning to spend the night before the wedding apart, we're planning on doing family style dinner, etc.)
I'm still deciding whether or not to wear a traditional veil. I love birdcages, but I think everyone will go insane when they hear that. I might do the old ceremony/reception swap.
I get it about having hot pink shoes all the time!
I guess non-wedding fanatics don't know how big of a trend it is LOL
not serving dinner. our ceremony started at 8 pm. the cocktail (open bar) and hors duerves (heavy, with several displays and passed food) reception went from 830 to midnight. even though it was on the invite and website, people were still shocked (and some offended) about no dinner.
the colored shoes
no veil (grandma threw a fit)
the 9 BMs/14 GMs (only about 125 guests)
the outdoor wedding (catholic family)
no flower girls or ring bearers
no sisters, neices, nephews in wedding
no bouquet or garter toss
the list goes on and on...in the end, hubby and i had a blast. *most* of the guests had a blast. shove their opinions. its your wedding
no children at the wedding or reception (but they are so cute!!! umm.... no they arent...)
my wedding colors of brown, green, ivory and antique gold (ummm really? isnt that kind of "dark?" ugh.)
fit and flare dress (but you look so cute in the poofy one!!! .... yes which is why im not getting it...)
uneven bridal party - AND 12 attendants for our 120 guest wedding (*gasp* THATS SO.... TACKY!!!!)
renting a party limo bus for the bridal party
i shudder to think what will happen when i tell them i want a bluegrass band for the cocktail party....
All you ladies have wonderful ideas!
Some of them sound a lot like what I am doing..
I have yet to announce all the plans I've made on my own because I am still 'waiting'.
Both of our families know it's coming soon and we've already set a date, but I've kept the details to myself.
My grandma is not happy we aren't having it in a church, so I can just imagine what they all will think when I reveal the rest of the plans including a hog roast reception and growing my own flowers..
I do not fret, as being the eldest grandchild, I have generally been able to steer things to go "my way".
Wish me luck :)
Yup, I got it for the colored shoes too! Some old ladies at the dress alterations shop said, "She has PINK shoes?! What does THAT mean?!" I just laughed.
Some people don't like that we're not paying to get everyone wasted all night. (We're either doing drink tickets or free beer and wine for a couple of hrs) I could care less.
The only thing my FI wanted for the wedding was karaoke, so I'm having our DJ do karaoke for the last hour or so of the reception. If people don't like it they can leave early :)
and....
We're not having it in a church.
- having a short gown
- making my veil
- having colored shoes (turquoise!)
- not having a religious ceremony / not getting married in a church / asking a friend to officiante
- not having expensive tacky favors
Oh just about everything :)
The biggest was definitely that I made my own cake. Absolutely everyone thought that was a horribly bad idea. It turned out so amazingly awesome!
One of my friends gave me the hardest time about having potted plants for centerpieces because apparently dirt was going to leap from the pot into her plate.
My seamstress seemed very very dubious about me wearing yellow shoes.
My aunt didn't think I should make my veil and thought I would regret not decorating the church and reception with miles and miles of tulle.
There was certainly more. In my case everyone was still very supportive, while making it completely clear they thought I was utterly insane. :)
It does seem silly that we get such hissy fits on our choices.
* Colored Shoes
* No "real" cake instead Cupcakes!
* No Veil
*No Bouquet Toss
*No Garter
* Keeping all my piercings in!(Big one!)
*Paying for it myself.. (Really b/c I am going to force my parents into financial strain. No thanks)
*Music Selection.. (But you can't walk down the aisle to a song from a video game. Watch me!)
i'm having a very non traditional wedding that people seem to be fine with. short dress, nonmatching bridesmaids dresses, no dancing, most people aren't invited to the reception, no bouquet toss/garter toss, etc. nobody seems to care. but the one thing people do comment on is the cake! we're having croquembouche instead, and all we hear is "you can't have a wedding without wedding cake!" well we are!
We're doing a cha-cha for our first dance and everyone that knows is having a fit about it, including people I didn't think would even care. The thing is I keep telling everyone is that its not some scripted/choreographed soulless dance (like lots of those youtube phenomenons). I have been a passionate dancer since 15, and one of FI and my first dates was at a salsa club, so it just fits with us. I'm not some bridezilla forcing my FI to cha-cha! FI's half Brazilian (not that that's an indication of his cha-cha skills...haha I think the dance is Cuban) and loves to dance with me, and we have really good rhythm when we dance fast dances, so it just made sense. I like the cheeriness of it! Goodness, so sue me, lame brownosers.
One of my girlfriends who is NOT a bm because I thought she was too flighty/not close enough with me even said something to the effect of "if only we ALL could be good dancers" and rolled her eyes. Excuse me? It's not a talent show. Its a wedding. I get it. My wedding isn't going to be like that horrendous American Idol-esque wedding on Bridezillas with that bride Kristen. Now shut up and just deal with our sexy moves, hahaha.
Whew, sorry for the mini-rant.
Hmm what else ?
I guess the only other thing that made my grandparents weirded out was my colored shoes, my bacon chocolate favors, and my hairstyle (not formal at all).
i think it's amusing, their reactions, but i'm not budging.
- no photographer (my sister is still in shock, this coming from the girl who spent $8k on a package and has yet to get all her photos because they couldn't decide from the proofs - fyi her 5 year anniversary is this friday) my friends who have been married and have had all these crazy photographers, videographers, etc...i've never once seen their photo albums any of the times i've hung out at their house. why pay for something that gets wrapped in tissue paper and stays in a box?
- no dj/mc. my friends spins. i don't need to pay a stranger to harass my family and friends - that's what i'm for! lol
- no flower centerpieces. i'm leaning towards ostrich feathers. the mock ups i've done are pretty damn awesome if i do say so myself. i have some time so i'm not rushing in doing them.
- i'm sure as i go further along in my planning i'm going to definately be getting more comments but FI and myself are paying for it so no one can really have an opinion, or at least one that i'm going to listen to!
It's funny that what seems totally normal in wedding blog normal is totally weird to everyone's family. Ha!
My list includes colored shoes (black), pie buffet instead of cake (which has mostly been met with excitement, but there have been a few naysayers), not having the ceremony in a church, and not putting together anything for a send-off (I just can't justify the money spent and the waste of tiny bottles of bubbles, sparklers, etc. for a picture that may or may not turn out).
I think that we're going to pull this off and everyone is going to have a blast at the end of the day, so I'm not too worried.
Everyone has said "Huh?" at some point to something or other...specifically...
-E pictures taken in a river bed in Compton
-Hot pink shoes with a black dress in our E-session...which is a normal outfit for me.
-Scratching the wedding plans and "eloping" to Hawaii
-Trash the dress the day after in which I will jump in the beautiful Maui ocean...my sister is horrified.
-Hot pink shoes under my dress...the horror!
-No cake...we don't eat cake why would we have it?
-Oh and my dress isn't beaded with poofy sleeves looking like something out of a JC Penney catalog circa 1988 so my sister thinks it's "weird". It's strapless with alecon lace on the bodice and the trim of the of the skirt....OMG I'm like a punk rocker!
I have no idea why anyone would say anything about colored shoes.. I mean, white shoes are so 'done', not that they're bad - my sister wore them and they were beautiful, but It's kind of like an 80's wedding..
What are we doing against the grain? Well, nothing I guess! No garter toss, we are very conservative. Oh, we are doing a first-look which has our older guests all up in arms. I don't care though ;)
No bouquet toss
No veil
Colored (RED!) shoes
Wearing my naturally curly curls... curly (This one was unpopular with my MOH and BM who have known me since I was 6. According to them, curly hair is not "formal" enough. They have straight hair.)
Oh, yes, totally on the colored shoes. Why are people so weirded out by this?!
And the engagement shoot.
There were certain people who were not happy that we weren't getting married in a church (ahem, we're not religious...!), but they got over that. With some coaxing, of course.
I want colored shoes too...and my mom thinks this is strange!!!!
no flower girls or ring bearers
(they are gonna be shocked at my Purple Converse Sneakers under my wedding dress, leaving that a suprise to most)
Not wanting a big poofy strapless elaborate dress with a train
wearing a fascinator(which they have no clue what that is) & no veil
That I am using paper tablecloths (plastic plates & cups & silverware) We are having an casual picnic reception in an open ended barn... on picnic tables with no sit down meal why not save money like that
that I am having an eneven brial party
That I am letting my little girl walk the dog down the aisle
But the three biggest by far ... what are you thinking comments i get is that
1. Black Bridesmaid dresses
2. Not walking to Here comes the bride or in fact ... no traditional wedding song at all
3. wanting to do a first look
I have quite a few...
-Getting engaged after 3 months of official dating...(we were best friends first)
-Getting married at 19 & 20 years old
-Not having a ring bearer
-Not carrying a bouquet
-Getting married in my FI's home town instead of mine
-Not having a dance
-Having Pizza as our reception meal
-Using DQ ice cream cake for our wedding cake
-Flying my photographer from NB, Canada to Wisconsin
My wedding plans routinely sent my female friends and family members into fits.
club DJ
co-maids of honor and co-best men (and no other wedding party!)
popular music for ceremony
No kids!
No garter, no bouquet toss, cupcakes only
e-pics at a historic prison
Lighting - including intellibeams!
Venue was a medical oddities museum
Yep, guess what? Everyone had a fabulous time. The food was amazing. The DJ kept everyone dancing. And many guests said it was one of their favorite weddings ever. Long story short - if you have a vision and are commited to it, DO IT. The naysayers and traditionalists will go with the flow after a drink or two and some food.
Oh, and I'm letting the bridesmaids choose their own black dresses. That, I'm assuming, will not match one another in the least. I'm excited about that part, because everyone can just choose the style of dress that they feel most comfortable in.
Ohmygosh my family must be angels or just REALLY excited about the wedding.
I swear I'm doing tons of these 'taboo' things (colored shoes, uneven bridal party, no church, walking down the aisle to coldplay and beatles, no garter toss, no veil- the list goes on and on) and no one has said a WORD except "cool!".
Probably the moment I leave the room they are rolling their eyes at each other - but at least to my face they are ok!
I really thought I was having a 'normal' ceremony...sigh ;)
-Colored shoes
-Getting married 1200 miles from where we live
-Two female pastors
-Having a shower theme has alarmed some people (including my mom)
-Getting married on a Friday
-Bridal party of 18, not including us
-Not inviting the FI's step mom and step dad's siblings and parents (we would have 1000 people at our wedding if the families of six different parents were all invited)
-Having an uneven bridal party
-No ringbearer
-Having a veil with a big bow on it
and most of all,
having TWO wedding dresses (I really don't get why this is so outrageous)
Oh, this is a good one!
We've gotten reactions because of the:
- Bridemaids dresses being midnight blue ("It looks too much like black!")
- Having an ipod wedding
- Designing and printing our own invites (I'll post that down the road)
We've learned to only "Speak when spoken to" when it comes to the wedding, and even then, we keep the details to a min.
I think that we're all fun brides! :) The "what?!" reactions I've gotten are for:
However, I must give my mom credit, because even though she's surprised by some choices, she is very supportive!
@ OfficeBride- My dresses are midnight blue as well, so close to black, but I love them. And I was worried how they would look with the groomsmens black vests & pants, but now I'm liking the look :) ...by the way, does your name in any way reference The Office (the show)?
I think that most of my problems stem from the fact that there hasn't been a wedding in my family for over 5 years but these are the things that made people question us:
Engagement pictures
Cocktail-style reception
Save the dates
First look pictures
Cupcake tower
Non-floral bouquets (fabric and feathers)
Considering blue shoes
No kids in wedding party
Black, knee length bridesmaids dresses
Non-floral (lantern) centrepieces
The 2 things people have been 
to are not getting a florist (we're DIYing, what's so weird about that??!) and not wearing a necklace with my strapless dress (I'm wearing large statement earrings!).
Having more than one color has been a taboo one. I have 4 colors in my pallete and my mum is complaining that its so hard to match! - boo hoo
Bridemaids not having bouquets - there having awseome clutches instead they can carry.
Crepe Paper Flowers at reception - my god, what are you doing this for!
A wishing tree - why dont you just have a normal guest book?
Save the dates- why?
Dj request cards - Cant they just walk up to the DJ and request their songs?
just to name a few...
I totally got called a Hussy by mother for wanting to wear colored shoes, oh well! Also people are excited about our non-wedding cake (bread pudding+tiramisu) and I'm wearing a non-white gown- scandalous!
One of the trends my mom DOES love, my scalloped lace veil which we DIYed with extra trim from my gown :o)
The biggest is that we're having a Sunday night wedding which leads directly into...
No kids - To quote mom "People are going to bring kids anyway." Me: Well then people will be asked to leave.
Food - You're serving WHAT?
Shoes - Green ballet flats for me, all males in the ceremony are wearing chucks.
Ditto the video game music. It's my favorite game and the theme music is gorgeous. You're damn right I'm walking dow the aisle to it.
What is it with everyone freaking out about the colored shoes? I'm not very far in my planning process, but that's one of the first things I knew I absolutely wanted to do...I told my mom and FMIL and they thought I was crazy!
I think it's one of the best wedding trends at the moment!
At first I really let it bother me, now I don't really care. I just don't think people who aren't planning a wedding quite "get it"
Idea I'm doing: Quote I heard
groomsmen with red converse: "They are going to be wearing SNEAKERS?! THAT is weird" (good friend)
colored bridal shoes: "Why red shoes, you couldn't find white ones?" (my grandma)
black bridesmaid dresses: "Wow, that sounds like a funeral" (FFIL)
all outdoors: "You know it's definitely going to rain" (FSIL)
I am so happy that other people are getting the same reaction about colored shoes. I showed mine to my mom and she said "really?" I asked what she expected me to wear, white shoes and she answered yes. I replied, "yuck. I hate white shoes," to which she replied, "you always have." So why would I on my wedding day?!?
Like I said above, I get really funny looks about smores. Two different people - FMIL and my brother - have made passing comments about how my wedding is going to be a hippie wedding. Not at all! I'm just not having cake! Hahahaha!
So happy to see people in the same boat :)
@qasiaraine- I bust out laughing about the comment of the dirt jumping onto a plate. Hilarious!!!
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