We've only just booked our wedding and we've had to compromise on two major things (having kids at the wedding and not doing it at my local church because it is "too far") to keep other people happy. So my question to you is what have you had to change/add/take away from YOUR wedding to keep SOMEONE ELSE happy....
This should be interesting!
@Fizzybee: I don't want one so I've caved on it all. I'd rather everyone be happy with me as I start my marriage than everyone be sad, annoyed, or not care anymore b/c I've been a bia.
this was hard, but I gave up dancing (other than first dance and father daughter) because my FIs family isnt comfortable with it. But i am actually happy now because we have chosen a venue that is fun, relaxed and we can have a fire pit and it will be more like a party. Which suits us just fine :)
I wanted a small, simple wedding of about 40 people. Just immediate family and close friends. My FI and my family wanted a bigger, fancier wedding. We're having 200 people. Everyone owes me big time for getting talked into this.
My dream was to have a destination wedding in Jamaica. We are currently having a local wedding and the invite list is at about 215-220 people. Ugh
Probalby the guest list. FI and I work at a very small school so everyone knows about our engagement. And everyone expects to be invited. But some of these people aren't even our friends. One family tried to have my FI fired! They still think they're coming to the wedding though....Also, I love my flower girl, no so fond of her family though. For the sake of less drama we're sucking it up and trusting in his parents to reign them in if necessary. :P
I don't know. I'm really wracking my brain. My parents & In-laws are paying for our formal wedding and they've been really supportive. I asked them who they wanted to invite, they gave me a list of names & addresses and I was okay with that. They've been pretty cool with everything my husband and I want, so I don't think I've caved on anything.
The only exception may be our Justice of the Peace wedding: We had a Christian ceremony -- my husband and I are "devout" Agnostic & Atheist respectively. We didn't do it for any reason, and our families didn't demand it. In my husband's words, "I didn't feel like going all Atheist on him [The Justice of the Peace]."
@Seashells7: You gave up dancing?? That is a pretty big part of a wedding isn't it? If people had a problem with dancing they would be uninvited to my wedding.
I gave up my dream of a very small wedding. I have a big family and even thought I don't want everyone there I know I have to invite them to keep my Mum & Dad happy. It's not too many more people but if I want to invite some then I have to invite all :( Can't pick and choose when it comes to family.
I love indie and punk. But I come from a family of farmers, cowboys and rednecks.
Keith Urban and Lady Antebellum it is. :-/
@chicitygirl7: LOL'd at your "everyone owes me big."
Hopefully you have a blast, and can have intimate parties to celebrate your next milestones 
Nothing. Other people can suck it aren't getting married, FI and I are so we're calling the shots.
Amazingly, nothing (yet). I have had it out with my dad about not inviting all his cousins and with my mom over not wearing a veil, and came out the victor in both!
The rehearsal dinner. My dad insisted it be in a restaurant very close to the church, but the church is near a downtown area with a handful of small, pricey, specialty restaurants (like Mexican or a wine bar, and my fiance's family doesn't like Mexican food nor do they drink). My dad persuaded me over to his side, but we're struggling to find a good place!
Not a damn thing.
It's the third wedding for both of us. I am doing ALL the planning and paying for all of it myself (FH is paying for the honeymoon). I don't know if it is because I am older or because this is not the first wedding for either of us, but everyone is pretty much leaving us alone, so the wedding is EXACTLY the way I want it!
The wedding itself. I wanted to elope. FI wanted the wedding. I caved. And right now my family is causing all sorts of drama because they don't like the wedding we've planned, so I'm kind of regretting letting FI have his way on this. It's really a lose-lose situation no matter what, though. :/
FI really wanted our dog as flower girl. My mom put her foot down and said she wasn't paying if they dog was in the wedding.
Otherwise, we haven't had to compromise or give up a single thing.
@FauxBoho: haha ! I am completely okay with it. ALL other things are a go except for that. I mean, we are having it outside, with a bonfire, music etc... so if people dance whatever but its not the focus you know?
If I didnt invite those who disagreed then my FIs whole family, including extended family and friends couldnt come!
It is going to be different but so much fun :) its called compromise.. its his wedding too ;)
@BooRadley: LOL this ;)
We had several things pushed on us: FI's nephew as our ring bearer, using the pastor who married FBIL, getting married in a church, etc., but I put my food down and got out my bitch voice pretty quickly.
Not having kids at the wedding. I had always said this, even before meeting DH. DH has a niece and a nephew (neither of whom are old enough to remember anything about the wedding). I ended up letting them come to keep the peace. It still annoys me to this day. The young girl was there until midnight, on the dancefloor with a crowd of dancing drunks and getting knocked senseless. This to me equalled pointless!
Not having kids at the wedding
Not paying for an open bar (i don't drink and we're broke, but we'll see if I can make this work to appease my parents)
The thing I DIDN'T cave on, even though it turned into a two month long nightmare between my parents and me, is not having my younger sister as a bridesmaid. I put my foot down on that one. So now I'm trying to make up for it, I guess, so my dad can talk to me naturally again. :-/
The wedding. I wanted a DW, FI wanted a big wedding, and my dad insisted that my grandmother needed to be there. Never-mind the fact that said grandma complained the entire wedding planning process (for no reason) and made it a point to dramatically proclaim that "she didn't know if she'd make it until the wedding". She's perfectly healthy, just a drama queen.
By having the wedding, we didn't just have a wedding - we had a BIG wedding. It was a lot of expense, and while everyone had a blast I still think about the DW I didn't get. Maybe for a vow renewal in 10 years. :)
A wedding. FI and I wanted to go to JOP or elope, but ended up being bribed/guilted into having a wedding. /: So, we're going to have a private ceremony (just the two of us) on the beach during our honeymoon because that's what we WANTED to begin with.
I was bullied by the florist into having red roses as my bouquet. My wedding color was red, so it worked, but I had always dreamed of having a white rose bouquet.
It still pisses me off when I look at the wedding albums and not seeing my dream of white roses. I"m not sure why I gave in so easily to a complete stranger.
I did not want kids at my wedding. I didn't want a full mass. And I wanted rock music only. And it's funny because my wedding turned out amazing.
I didn't want a wedding! So I've caved on pretty much all of it. After agreeing to have a wedding, though, there isn't much I've had to cave to - I'm pretty happy with whatever, as long as it isn't too expensive.
The guest list - We originally wanted to elope but knew that really wasn't an option. We thought we could get away with a small wedding instead, but that was a no-go too. In the end, we caved on the guest lists so we could stand our ground on the biggest thing we wanted: a secular wedding ceremony. We still get grief about not being married by a priest (especially from FMIL), but I don't care. We just signed the rental agreement for a historic chapel so maybe that will appease her (even though the ceremony will still be non-religious).
@EffieTrinket: I feel you on the music - we are going to sneak some of our favorites into the playlist though :)
I wanted to elope or have a very easy, fun wedding - maybe an adventure wedding. His sisters are unhappy that I want a winter wedding and they think that they can't get time off of work in the middle of December so no one will come. I've also had snarky comments about people buying us gifts in December.
On top of that - he's changing his mind and supporting them and making the excuse that it's so there isn't as much stress on me and he wants to push the wedding out to April. The thing is - his groomsmen and father like December better. It's JUST his sisters and I've finally found a venue and put a hold on the ceremony site for December but now I can't put a deposit down on the site until we can settle this.
I've given up a lot - location, size, date, scenery/decor, spending less money, eloping. (The only think I'm actually getting that I've always dreamed of was a close family friend as the officiant)
I'm thinking of giving up getting married at this point since it's nothing I want.
So far haven't had to compromise on anything yet. My parents are paying for about half of the wedding but they aren't asking us to do anything a certain way. Everything we have planned so far has been exactly what we wanted.
We are getting a push back from FIs brother about not inviting his kids, but it's not something we are going to budge on, and it really isn't that big of. Deal.
A reception. I wanted to have a small in-town elopement kind of deal with just finger foods/passed apps and stuff.
But people bitched and FI caved. Oh well- the reception will be kind of fun ;)
i have literally compromised on everything. but i have asked for compromises to be given back. you want 250 ppl at the wedding? get me a wedding planner then.
I've been getting a lot of grief over the location. its in the next town. (all towns here are only reachable by plane or ferry) so its a little bit of a destination wedding but its a town in the middle of our two home towns so i refuse to change that.
i have invited a lot of people. like 120 and they still kept pushing for more. but some of these people my FI and i didnt know. or never met. so i had to put my foot down a little.
three Bm that i wasnt originaly going to ask.
i wanted a longer engagment but due to his grand parents he wanted to do it sooner. i wanted a winter wedding but due to other things we picked may.
i dont want a veil but MIL really wants it so im gunna do it.
Nothing.. really. The only things I've caved for were for FI. We each picked a wedding color.. and then threw in a third color to even it out.
I haven't caved on anything else unless FI was involved - but, none of my family really cares about the wedding at all, so not a big deal!
We had a destination wedding. I caved into spending too much time with guests (especially eating meals with them) and we didn't get enough time to enjoy ourselves.
A lot of things...
I've always wanted to elope. FI's mom wants to have a wedding. We are having a wedding with around 40 guest all family only. That completely changes everything about my wedding though.
Also, I would have loved to have my three year old niece as a flower girl, my 8 year old niece as my junior bridesmaid and have the 8 year old walk down the aisle with my dog who I love to pieces but FI said no dogs at the ceremony :( We are only going to have a 5 minute, cliffnotes version of a ceremony anyway. Oh well, he will come out for the reception.
We are also having a "color" because my little sister was so outraged that we didn't have colors or a theme. Finally I said, "Well, if I had to pick a color, I guess it would be red."
Nothing big so far, just little things. I said absolutely no veil. Well my mom had other ideas, so she bought me one. So now I am wearing one for just the ceremony to make her happy. I guess it is a small price to pay seeing how she is paying for everything.
nothing! we are paying for the wedding ourselves so nobody could really tell us what to do anyway, but our families have been super supportive of every decision we've made. the only thing we've been "criticized" on is choosing not to have children at the wedding (and that was by distant family members that we don't really care about).
Our wedding venue and guest list were the major things for me. Actually, having a wedding at all (would have preferred a european elopement). I stood my ground on a lot of things as the wedding progressed such as our wedding colors. The recent is having a possible money dance. It's not me and i think it can be viewed as distateful to some of my relatives, but it's tradition for FI's family so we'll see..
The guest list. If I had it my way I would have maybe 75 people tops at our wedding. His family is really big and complicated so they are inviting over 175 people. My family and friends account for about 25-30 of that lol
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