What have you learne from being in a relationship with a military member?

posted 2 years ago in Military
Post # 2
Member
3376 posts
Sugar bee

My FI is active military.  If anything I’ve learned it’s that the military can make or break your relationship. We are a lot closer then we have ever been but yet we are so far away.

I haven’t been exposed as much but my brother is prior military as well. Everything you said is pretty much right. I have to ask what a lot of stuff means when he says it. Not everyone is a soldier.  They all have different jobs that are know as their MOS. 

Also you form a big family with the military and tons of support by all the other families. 

Post # 3
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Hi,  my guys an airman as well,  we’ve been together for awhile but this military thing is kind of new. Definitely taking everything you mentioned and try to remember it.  Those acronyms are so confusing,  he starts talking and I just kind of nod and smile cause I don’t remember what they mean lol.  

One thing I can say I’ve learned is how anything can change at any time.  Seriously they tell him one thing one week and the next week it’s the opposite. 

Post # 4
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I have learned that there will be a lot of time without him, even if you live together. Therefore, the time you do  have together is so precious. I love the weekends because my DH doesn’t have to work so we can reconnect. We live together. I am thankful that we get to sleep in the same bed together . DH is doing shore duty right now. My DH is in the Navy.

Post # 5
Member
3335 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My FI’s not active anymore, but he’s a Marine Corps veteran. I can definitely relate to many of those things. He is especially humble, he doesn’t even take veteran discounts or free stuff at places when offered. He says he “didn’t do it for the free lunch.” He also likes to sit in the corner of the room. He is also very protective of other younger military members, just starting out. He really likes to be a support system for them to help prepare them for what is to come.

My hat goes off and my heart goes out to all you ladies with active duty SOs. 

Post # 6
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee

My guy is Navy and in nuke school right now so I’ve learned that I really need to make the most of the little time we have left where he is home every night by 5. The biggest thing is all the acronyms- I can’t keep up and I know I ask the same things over and over even after 4+ years together. Beyond that it’s all the crazy rules and traditions, like who knew base housing plays the national anthem on a loud speaker right outside the house every morning at 8am??

Post # 7
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

I’m in training for the Army while in college, as is my partner, so I’m not in the same situation as you guys.

It’s kinda crazy to realize all of the things that you guys have to learn almost second-hand (like uniform care, traditions, weird behaviors and terminology) and I’m just immersed in 24/7 so it’s all second-nature.

At the same time, I’m still learning every day. I’ve learned how fickle life can be, how things can go from painful to rewarding at the drop of a dime, how benefits aren’t always incredibly beneficial and how much work goes into creating stability in chaos (even if mine is considerably more subdued chaos than those who are actually at the point of officially serving)

Aside: I know a lot of Active Duty jerks who talk smack about the life of a military wife, but they usually are single and don’t realize how much work that they do. Military spouses and wives create structure and stability in what can be amazingly chaotic. They might not have intense military knowledge but their support of their partners is definitely admirable.

Post # 8
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

 

Iheartmyairman:  I’ve learned that the military will always be number 1 as long as he is in it. It can definitely make or break your relationship. Spending so much time apart, not being able to see one another, and him having to drop his plans and do what ever the military tells him… It’s a hard relationship to have; especially if it’s long distance.

Post # 9
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Iheartmyairman:  

My husband is also no longer active duty, but a Marine Corps vet. Ditto to being uncomfortable with his back to a room. We choose our seats accordingly automatically.

When he was active, I was in nursing school for the majority of his enlistment, so it was illogical for me to move to where he was stationed. As a result, even when he was stateside, we were still 1700 miles apart for 4 years. Thank goodness it wasn’t Okinawa or Hawaii though! We learned communication, rock solid trust, how to appreciate the small moments and the big, how to be sources of strength and stability to one another. I agree with pp- military can make a strong relationship shine, or a weak one whither. I also found an amazingg network of other USMC wives and girfriends that were absolutely invaluable. I’m still very close to many of them. 

Oh and also- the only thing the military can’t control is time itself. A minute is a minute and minutes turn into hours which turn into days… And the weeks and months march right along. 

i could go on and on, but I’m typing on the iPad which is a pain in the rear. I’d like to add one thing to your comment about picking out current or former military from civilians – one of my favorite past times while waiting for a flight in an airport is to not only pick out military, but also the specific branch. Out of uniform of course! 

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