What have you learned about husband since getting married that drives you crazy

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Are you surpised about what you learned about your Spouse since getting married/ moving in
    Yes : (13 votes)
    21 %
    No : (48 votes)
    77 %
    Other explain below : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    2460 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    We’re not married yet but we live together… we moved in together in November 2011, then moved into the house that we bought together in May 2012. When we were living at his house things didn’t bother me as much because it was his house and the way he does things, but now that everything is ours it annoys me.

    – He thinks he does the dishes, when all he really does is put everything in the sink, fill everything up with water and then walk away. So then I have to empty out all of the water *gag* and put it in the dishwasher. THen clean the sink really well because he made it gross.

    – He doesn’t like the curtains/blinds to be open, whereas I love daylight, so there’s a constant opening/closing of them in our house when we’re both home

    – He moves the coffee table. All. The. Time. Whether it’s to eat, use the computer, etc. it doesn’t matter, he always moves it close to the couch and way closer than he needs it. Every night/morning I always put it back

    Post # 4
    5391 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @TwoCityBride:  We’re not married yet and we don’t live together. However, we have been together for 7.5 years, and spend a lot of time together; in the beginning, we were spending 6 nights a week together. I don’t see there being any surprises as I honestly feel we know each other very well. Things we’ve learnt about each other include:

    He likes to sleep with the window open. I’m a freezer, and like to be nice and warm. So, he has the window open initially, and I use an extra blanket, and then close it later in the night when he’s fast asleep.

    I have a terrible habit of leaving wet towels on beds :-s He blimming hates it but just moves them.

    I’m much messier than him, and he’s slightly OCD about things eg the TV has to be perfectly in line with the edge of the coffee table. I understand this, so if I move something, I put it back.

    He leaves the toilet seat up when he pees. It annoys me, but I just put it back down. No biggie.

    He leaves the tap running when he brushes his teeth. For some reason this really annoys me. Likewise leaving the fridge door open. But, what I don’t know doesn’t hurt me, and if I catch him at it, I just turn the tap off/close the door.

    He cannot cook, at all; I will be doing 100% of the cooking.

    I cannot iron; he’ll be doing the ironing (though TBH most of my stuff doesn’t need irnoning anyway, so I think that’s fair)

    We have completely different taste in TV shows and films. We compromise by watching things we both don’t mind, even if they might not be our first choice. When we get our own place, we’ll have some ‘us time’ though so we can watch things independently.

    The list goes on. There are loads of little things we’ve learnt about each other, but none of them are a big deal; you just work around them/compromise. However, I’m glad we know these things now and that they won’t come as one big sudden shock when we marry lol

    Post # 5
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Well we kinda lived together since day one (same floor Freshman year and so I slept in his room every single night the second we started dating, all the way through college, officially on the same lease by senior year, but still we basically shared a living space since the second we started dating), so I knew everything about living with him very quickly, there were no surprises by the time we officially moved in together 3 years later…

    Post # 6
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @TwoCityBride:  at this point I can’t think of anything because we lived together before we got married, although I discovered many weird things about him before marriage and I continue to do so lol. I just wanted to say that your husbands OCD IS worth discussing. You shouldn’t just bite your tongue so it’s not a fight, it doesn’t have to be one but the day you have had enough it will turn into one. I’d definitely discuss boundaries with him. This would drive me absolutely insane, and my husband actually does this to a mild degree with glasses and stuff something’s and it makes me crazy! Youre not a child, he doesn’t need to a)make all the rules regarding where things go or b) pick up after you like you are 5

    Post # 7
    8387 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My husband and I moved in together after a few weeks of dating long distance, so we lived together for over 4 years before we got married.  If anything, I’m surprised by how smitten I still am with him, especially since I got sick of every other person I was with after a year or so.

    Post # 8
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    He unpacks all the crap after I pack it for our move. That..IS UNACCEPTABLE!

    Post # 9
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Like BookishBelle, there were no surprises for me since we dated for 6 years before officially signing a lease together. However, in the past 3 years since we moved in together, I’ve noticed that he’s all too happy to let me take the lead on deep cleaning. He has literally NEVER initiated a deep clean of our home, which I like to do once a month, though I often will hire a cleaning service to move the furniture and clean.

    I figured we’d be on the same cleaning schedule, but we are not. Dust on the baseboards don’t phase him.




    Post # 10
    1194 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Yeah, let’s just say there’s a reason we have a two-bedroom. two-bathroom apartment. I know his bathroom is messy and I can’t handle it. I’m just lazy messy, like I leave my clothes around, but he’s gross messy, like toothpaste all over, doesn’t wipe down the kitchen counters or anything. He watches TV a lot louder than I do, so when I come home after he’s been watching TV and turn it on it blasts my eardrums. He’s gotten better at turning on lights. His old apartment was like a dungeon. The lights were never on, the blinds were always drawn shut. He can’t cook either. The one thing he can do is boil water for pasta. That’s his specialty lol. But I do the other 99% of the cooking.

    Post # 11
    809 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    My husband Farts. All. The. Time.  I get out of bed to take a shower, come back into our room and it smells awful.  I’m not sure what goes through his head.  It’s like, “Tara left the room, I’m going to lay in bed and fart and she will never know.”  Ughhh!  Drives me crazy!  Smelly Husband.

    Post # 12
    1801 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @MsJ2theZ:  +1000000 

    OP, you should really deal with this annoycance before it becomes a serious problem, because it’s obviously not something that will just resolve it self. It definitely sounds like he has OCD, and if it’s to the point where he feels compelled to throw out your food and clean your plate when you leave the room for 1 minute, both of you could definitely benefit from him getting therapy. 

    I’m thrilled to say that the only surprise I’ve encountered when I started living with my FI is that he’s extremely patient with my living habits, and he is a great sport about doing the laundry all the time and dishes most of the time. Unfortunately he also prefers a lower temperature than I do, but so do most people, so that wasn’t really a surprise. 

    Post # 13
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I didn’t realize he was so obsessed with his shoes! One little scuff (keep in mind these are work boots and are expected to get dirty) and he throws them away and buys a new pair. WTF! It drives me nuts. No one should be buying a new pair of Timberlands every 3 months. 

    Post # 14
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @luluvohn:  I would call that like 99.99999% of the time that you do the cooking if he can only boil water LOL! 🙂

    Post # 15
    820 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    DH and I had a pretty smooth move-in transition, but there is one thing he does that KILLS ME!

    Everytime we sit down for dinner, he gets up a MINIMUM of 2 times, usually 3, because he “forgot something,” had to pee, wanted more salt/pepper, etc. It drives me nuts! By the time he is actually ready to eat, I’m almost done!

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