Post # 1
This came up in a conversation with a close friend yesterday about how our father’s are helpess regarding household tasks as our mothers hve enabled them to get to this point.
Just curious and yes I know it’s not they “can’t” do them, mentally they are capable but they don’t know how to or refuse to do them.
Post # 3
I guess I am pretty lucky! My FI is not afraid to do household chores alongside me, especially because we are in an apartment (I’m not living there yet, but I help out quite a bit), so there’s no “man work” outside to be done. :] He is actually better about doing laundry than I am, although I’m better at everything else. He is perfectly capable of doing everything besides taking care of children on his own, just because we don’t have any and he hasn’t had any baby-sitting experience aside from watching our three little cousins with me… And I do everything like changing the little one’s pull-up and getting them ready for bed when we’re there, just because I know their routine really well.
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
Dh can’t cook aside from steak or burgers, do laundry, wash dishes, vacuum, dust lol he’s useless in the home! He can take care of our doggies but he favours one over the other though >.> oh well
Post # 5
My SO does all of the above just fine. Maybe not the taking care of children part since he is never around children and we don’t have any just yet! But he is going to be an amazing father to our children one day 🙂
Post # 6
I add a last vote for “he CAN do everything listed above.” I also added “Can’t” to each poll question, but the last one since I think it’s confusing to read and people might be checking what their S.O does around the house.
Post # 7
I don’t live with FI but I know for a fact he sucks at ironing his clothes lol. He also doesn’t shop.
Post # 8
My dearest love can’t cook much (he can make, like, mac and cheese and steamed veggies, but he doesn’t ever season anything, lol) and he thinks he can vacuum, but he takes foreeever and it still doesn’t look as good as when I do it. He also can’t clean the bathroom!
He is also INCREDIBLY absent-minded. He is seriously like your typical head-in-the-clouds smart person–he has no common sense at all and is very dreamy. So I’m in charge of all of our finances, taxes, bills, savings, traveling/long-term planning… lol, but I love doing that stuff and I’m a control-freak so it works out well for us.
On the plus side, he does ALL of the dishes, cleans the cat box, runs to the grocery store for me all the time, and does probably 3/4 of the laundry. He also always drives because I detest driving.
Post # 9
He can do all that except take care of children (we don’t have any yet and he doesn’t know how yet, but he is eager to learn and has already committed to cleaning at least half the diapers because he really wants them to be cloth), but so far he hasn’t learned yet so he alarmed a mutual friend by bouncing their baby in a way that was a little too close to shaking for the friend’s comfort (womp womp). The baby is fine and he felt bad…he had no idea that he had to be careful about that. He’ll be a great dad though because he really wants to be one and will learn what he needs to know.
He may not know how to use a microwave, I’m not sure. We don’t use them. He was also not familiar with dishwashers at first (his family does them by hand) and in his first condo, he flooded his kitchen by putting in regular dish detergent, lol.
Other than these teeny limitations he’s super capable. He cooks from scratch, does dishes, can do the laundry, can fold, can iron, knows how to use all the accessories on the vacuum for a spotless home, has his own power tools and knows how to use ’em, knows enough not to get the run-around from the auto mechanic, is very responsible with our pets, takes care of elderly relatives, is great when I’m sick, can be relied on to pick up the right things from the grocery store, and has great taste in his clothes, my clothes and furniture for our home (he has an artist’s eye). All the while he holds down full time employment and regularly gets wage increases and awards.
Basically, he’s a machine… I try to keep up with him 🙂 I do have some specialties he doesn’t have (e.g., I can sew, darn, remove stains and make delicate repairs that baffle him. I research options regarding everything so that we get the best bang for our effort. I have a green thumb; his is black) but many of the household tasks I do, he could do and will do if I wait too long to do them. Maybe the thing he’s worst at is knowing how not to burn himself out. Not only do I have to beat him to certain chores, I also have to sometimes block him from a household chore/late night work preparations and sternly send him to bed, or to a hot bath. I have to remind him to eat. I have had to place video game controllers into his hands. In a big way it is a blessing to be with someone who wants to give his all to our family, but it is also a worry that he doesn’t pace himself and I have to keep an eye on how he’s doing all the time.
Post # 10
I am very lucky that my fiance is adept at and more than willing to do all household chores! However, I will say that I’ve banned him from doing my laundry, with the exception of sweats. I’m very picky with separating colors and delicates, and he has accidentally shrunk a couple of my things before!
We are both very clean and neat, but he is much more organized than I am. I think I’m “cleaner” though, in the sense that my threshold for dirtyness is lower than his. For instance, I like to clean the bathroom and kitchen at least once a week. If it were up to him, he would wait a month. I don’t mind it though, cleaning is my favorite way to procrastinate.
Post # 11
@aliciapdx: The only thing I put as can’t is taking care ok kids – but nit only do we not hav children but he’s e=never had the opportunity to look after kids on his own. I think once he gets more comfortable (after we have kids probably) I think he will be fine 🙂
Post # 12
@aliciapdx: FI can do many things, but cooking isn’t one of them. Even if I give him detailed, explicit instructions he still messes up one or two steps (even if there’s only 3 steps!) Example, I asked him to lower the heat to 4 and take the cover off. I came in 20 minutes later to find dinner cooking away with the lid on. Sauce doesn’t thicken with the lid keeping all the steam in. I barely got to eat before I left for work. Or I could ask him to julienne whatever vegetable, he chops it. I ask him to slice the beef thin, 1/4 inch and it’s over 1/2 an inch thick. He tries, but he sucks.
He is also constantly using the wrong items for cleaning. As in cleaning the trash can with a dish cloth. Dude, dish cloths are only going to touch things we will eat off of or cook food in. I have an entire set of BRIGHT RED cleaning cloths that he can use for whatever dirty, nasty, non-food touching item he wants to clean. They are located under the sink with the cleaning products. I really can’t make it more obvious!
Also, I have white scrubbies for household cleaning and green ones for dishes. He will take a green one, clean -oh let’s say- the bathroom with it, then leave it in the kitchen sink. As if my teenage son is going to be able to tell the difference when he washes dishes! We’ve had to re-wash the dishes more than once. I appreciate his effort, but he cannot pay attention.
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church
He fails SO HARD at loading the dishwasher. It’s like he has no idea how to Tetris it. It’s insane. I load the dishwasher and he unloads it.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I put he *can* do everything above, however when we are living together fully, I will NOT let him do the grocery shopping or the laundry haha. He has to grocery shop for himself now, but he definitely is a “go into the store and grab what he wants regardless of health or cost options” kind of guy….
And for laundry? He does his laundry, and then just lets the clean clothes sit, UNFOLDED, in the hamper. Then he will just pull out of the hamper for a few days/week, and pile the dirty clothes in a pile on the floor. Eventually, he will dump out the remaining clean clothes and fold them, to re-fill the hamper from the dirty pile on the floor. Or, sometimes, they get mixed up by accident, and he no longer knows whats clean and whats dirty, and so he will re-wash already clean clothes.
It’s not that he can’t fold, or doesn’t understand separating lights/darks, its just he’s ok with this system LOL.
Plus, I actually love doing laundry. I will take the laundry, he can vacuum!!!
Post # 15
@thejucheidea: This is my husband too!! He cannot load a dishwasher properly and after 4 years of living with him, I’ve given up. I load and he unloads.
I also don’t let him do laundry. The last time he did it, he put ALL my handwash sweaters (that I keep in a separate bag in the laundry room) in the same load and washed them on normal cycle – gahh!!
He does take care of our dog – he takes her out 80% of the time. He also cooks and cleans and can actually vaccum very well. He has never tried dusting though. He can also grocery shop, but he spends too much money and doesn’t bargain hunt, like I would. Oh well!
Post # 16
My SO can do all of those things. I wouldnt marry him if he couldnt figure out how to use the dishwasher I mean come on really? Its not that hard