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How do I get my mom to stop being so mean to me?

what i can say.....

posted 2 years ago in Family

Member

360 posts

Helper bee

bimba May 28, 2010 Boston, MA

to dont offend my mother??? last june my mom and dad came to visit me and we took the opportunity to go dress shopping... she is paying for gown, weil, bolero, alterantion..pretty much everything.. and when we found my dress she was super excited that she picked up also jewelry to match my gown... now... i really dont want to wear that jewelry and i dont know what to say to her! the jelwery is pretty but i think it is too much with the dress and everything and it is not really what i wanted... i wanted something simple and this necklace is all crystals and really sparkling!(it is crystal because my mom doesnt want me to wear pearls since she says "pearls bring tears" LOL) anywho, i kinda asked her few months ago if i could exchange the necklace with another one at the bridal store, and she didnt really say much, but the bridal store wont take it back! so now im stuck with this necklace that i really dont want to wear, that i can not return and i dont know what i can say to my mom...it also was 100$ value so, i really dont want to waste this money... i know we could seel it back, but i dont want to hurt my mom's feeling since she picked it out...i mean she is pretty easy going,sometimes she has good days and sometimes she has bad ones...it can go either way, either she can yell at me or she can just say do whatever you want, but is it a really jerk thing to do? should i just wear it or should i tell her that i would like something different?

i dont have a pic of the jewelry but it looks similar to these..the earring are simple though

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Oru85PggvJw/ShanTUFFuxI/AAAAAAAAB_w/oF-xxs4qUyc/s320/NL764large.jpg

http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-13659688824768_2090_14836911

http://www.bridalfashionmall.com/images/JS-560-mod.jpg same idea but bigger

2 years ago

14,581 posts

Honey
Beekeeper

ejs4y8 June 20, 2009

Well, pay her back and say you've decided to want to wear something else. She may be dsiappointed, but I know my mom would be more disappointed if i wore something I didn't REALY want to wear because her own good intentions got the better of the situation.

Are you a "real jewelry" kind of girl in general? I know I am, so I'd be able to feasibly pull out the excuse that I wanted to wear real pearls/diamonds/gold versus crystal and it wouldn't be weird since I don't generally wear that kind of stuff.

I don't think it's a jerk thing to do...if anything, your mom didn't take what YOU wanted to wear into consideration. And for $100, you could've gotten a really nice string of real pearls. Just let her know she didn't take your own feelings into consideration and you want to wear something else. I'm not sure what else to expect when you jump the gun, you know?

2 years ago

Member

360 posts

Helper bee

bimba May 28, 2010 Boston, MA

ejs~~ im not really a jewelry girl..i just wear my cross necklace that my parent bought me and my engaement + promise ring..thats it... if i go out i might wear earrings but nothing else.. i love jewelry dont get me wrong, but im very sentimental and what i wear are items really important to me... i was thinking to wear bigger earrings and skipp the necklace since i will be wearing a bolero and i dont like really wearing necklaces that much... yeah i might give her money back, even though i dot think she will take it, or now if i think about it i can give to her to wear on the day of the wedding... i just dont know what to say and how to approch her..

2 years ago

Hostess

7,632 posts

Bumble
Beekeeper

MightySapphire

Yikes, you'd think your mom would know better than to buy you big glitzy jewelry knowing you don't wear jewelry in the first place! I think you should time it, and just keep the conversation on the back burner until she is having one of her "good days." Then tell her how you never wear jewelry, and you're not comfortable wearing that big hunkin necklace on your big day. (Maybe even say it'll "strangle" you...) No matter how she takes it, that's how you feel, and it's better to be honest than spend your life looking at wedding pictures of yourself and wishing you didn't have on the necklace.

2 years ago

Member

410 posts

Helper bee

DemoDreamer May 2011 Ohio

Is it something you could wear to the rehearsal dinner instead..... Then have her wear it the day of the wedding?

2 years ago

Member

360 posts

Helper bee

bimba May 28, 2010 Boston, MA

ladies~~ i just talked to her...soooo i told her"ma, dont get mad, and please dont take it personally, but i really dont want to wear that jewelry you got me.." ouch i was expecting her to yell at me,(jeez it sounds like im a little kid, how old am i again???) but she was ok with that... i knew though she will get pissed about the money spent on it! i know her too well... so i convinced her wearing it instead since she has some sparkles on her dress, and she loves bling bling..so i guess we fixed the issue...BUT she still wants me to wear a necklace..grrrr!!!! i dont want anything! but i guess i can find something really simple...i have already found some earrings i liked in a little jewelry store by my office..sooo we will see.. any suggestions?

no pearls( so ill make my mother happy), not to bling, but 1 1/2 2 inches long for earrings and very simple necklace!

thnaks!

2 years ago