(Closed) What I Wish I Knew Before I Started Planning

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Getting married is about you and your FI joining your lives and nothing else, the rest is extra credit!  Oh, and wedding cakes are confection extortion!

Post # 4
Member
5557 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

That no matter what the industry tells you, a wedding is still just a party and the only important thing is that you end up married (be it legally, religiously or spirtiually) to the person you love. The rest is fluff. Fun fluff, but fluff none the less. 

Post # 5
Member
4609 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

That even an intimate ceremony can get expensive quickly. 

Post # 6
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Everyone (and I mean everyone) will drive you insane with their input/opinion – so come up with a rehearsed line to keep you sanity.  Something like:  (smile, pause) “Thank you for that suggestion, I’ll keep it in mind” – and then do whatever it is you and FI want to do!

Post # 7
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

Plan early if you want a weekend wedding. Especially if its in June/ July or Sep/ Oct. 1 year before is late for the choice venues :/

Post # 8
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Elope!  I wanted to from day 1, but FI was worried that we would regret not having a more normal, traditional wedding.  We now lament almost daily on why we didn’t go with my first instinct.  Weddings cost way more money than I ever could have imagined, there’s a lot more details that go into wedding planning than I ever thought, and there’s always going to be some drama.  You have to get really good at rolling with the punches and letting go of expectations, control, and those childhood dreams of being a princess during the entire engagement.

Post # 10
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Zusie:  Optimizing your prospective vendor appointments.  Make a long list of questions, whether your own or from suggested ones online before meeting with vendors.  It’s amazing the things you can learn that way.  Be sure to listen carefully when the prospecitve vendor is speaking, sometimes a bad one will accidentally reveal something telling. I avoided a major disaster wtih a photographer because they accidentally revealed that the best photos in their portfolio were shot by someone else!

Post # 11
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am eloping and so happy to be doing so. It is really all about my fiance and I. However, I know that this isn’t for everyone. I guess I would tell them to not get overwhelmed with the suggestions and opinions of everyone else. Don’t do something for your wedding because it would make so and so happy even though you hate it. Keep what is important and matters to you and your fiance and throw the rest aside.

Post # 12
Member
7318 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Make sure that there is someone who knows your wedding day/weekend plan inside and out just as well as you do. Maybe it’s your planner, DOC, bff, sister, etc. … it really does not matter who it is, as long as it is someone you can rely on 100% to be fully supportive of you and your vision, to speak up for you if you can’t do so for yourself, and to fully take the reigns if you need to hand them over.

My grandfather died just days before our wedding. I spent the 3 days leading up to his death by his side. I spent the days after his death greiving, choosing a casket, helping to arrange viewings in 2 different states, and generally being a wreck. I needed Mr. Lk to be 100% there to support me, and I honestly just stopped caring about the wedding. But long before that happened I had hired a month-of coordinator. She was in my head, she knew my vision, and I was able to hand everything over to her 10 days before the wedding and know that it was in good hands. I had no idea when I hired Pheebs that she would become my wedding angel. But I am forever greatful to myself for having the foresight to hire her, and to her for being awesome. Life doesn’t stop just because you are getting married, so plan ahead and make sure that you have someone to be your back-up.

Post # 14
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Don’t waste your money on Save the Dates.

I wish we hadn’t. In between when we sent ours our and when it was time to send out invitations, I changed jobs and my fiance moved from his home town in with me. There were a lot of people we sent Save the Dates to, such as bosses and FI’s “friends,” that if we hadn’t sent STDs to, we wouldn’t have invited them, as we haven’t talked to them in 9 months. 

 

Post # 15
Member
9147 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Set a budget and stick to it.  It’s easy for costs to get out of control when you keep adding on one little extra here and there.

Also, don’t over commit to DIY projects because you are going to be busy and stressed.  I ended up completing only half of the DIY projects I had planned to.  Some things are worth DIYing and others are worth buying, don’t overextend yourself or your abilities.

Post # 16
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If you think you have enough time to plan – add a few more months! EVERYTHING takes longer than expected!

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