Post # 1
I know this is kinda morbid, but Bee and I talk about this kinda thing all the time. What would you do if your SO died tomorrow?
If I died tomorrow, Mrs. Bee would probably move in with a girlfriend… but keep the same job. But she’d most probably stay in NYC rather than going home to LA, where her family lives.
If I had died when we first got married, she probably would’ve moved back to LA (she hadn’t started Weddingbee yet, so she didn’t have an income after she quit her job and moved to NYC so we could be together).
How about you: what would you do if something happened to your SO?
Post # 3
well, me and FH aren’t quite married yet, but everyone says we act like it. We spend so much of our down time together, it’s hard to imagine what I would do if he wasn’t there. Since we are planning on staying in the area where our families live, I would probably turn into the girl version of "failure to launch" haha….
Post # 4
Unfortunately, this is something I have thought about on several occasions because it is a serious concern for my fiance. His father passed away when he was in his 40’s from a heart attack; same for his grandfather on his mother’s side. We were in early high school and his mom never remarried and has only recently started casually dating (so she’s not lonely is her reasoning- understandable.) It has been around 8 years. I tell my fiance that we are exercising and eating better for both of us to try to lessen the scariness of the situation. I think we would both want the other to move on like his mom has; we would want the other to be happy, even if we weren’t there to be part of it. You know, this is quite morbid, but I think it’s important to discuss for the other’s well being and hopefully nothing ever comes of it!
Post # 5
My husband and I are both serving in the Air Force, if one of us died- we would continue to serve and live where the Air Force needed us to live. Once our commission is up and we return to civilian life (in five years) if one of us died, I think we’d stay in the same area. We’re both from Michigan, and my husband has learned to really love the small town I’m from (and I have little desire to move back to the city/suburbs).
My husband hates having morbid talks, especially since we’re in the military. I’ve asked him several times what he would like me to do if died regarding funeral prepartions and he refuses to answer… it drives me insane! Neither of us are in any immediate danger, but still, it would be nice to know. Mrs.Bee is lucky you’re open to the morbid stuff!
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)
We talk about it …. just really havent gotten to the point of who will be doing what. Its pretty simple for us, in the sense we didnt move city to be together.
I think I would just keep on living (alone)… maybe make a few adjustment in my career (cause im planning on starting my own company)
Post # 7
I have lost a couple of very close family members in the past few years and I have a lot of residual anxiety that all funnels towards my fiance and dying. So, this issue hits close to home. I can’t think all that rationally so I have no clue what I’d do.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
Mr. MagPie (half) teases me that he’d go into the priesthood — since he wouldn’t want to be with another woman.
I’d most likely make some drastic life changes — you know, do things I always dreamed of doing, but never go around to — but then again, who knows how I’d act in that situation?
Post # 9
My fiance and I have talked about this a few times. He is in the Army, so everything from funeral arrangements to future plans have come up in conversations. I would probably move if anything happened to him. I have a horrible habit of running, so I would attempt it. I think I would end up back in CA.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay
We talk about this too. Mr. Quiche says that if he dies, he wants me to sell our condo and get something smaller and more affordable so that I wouldn’t have to worry about making the mortgage payment. It makes sense, as I wouldn’t need a place as big as ours with just me. I really don’t think I’d move back home, but you never know!
I would also take a sabbatical and travel across Europe or Asia. I would not be able to just lurch back into my normal day-to-day life. I think it is healthy to talk about it, though!!
Post # 11
I told my FH if i die … he better upgrade and get himself a hot young chick, so that way i can look down and be like… ah, so THAT is one step up from me… and feel good about myself… lol! But it is in jest… if he were to pass tomorrow… i think i’d find a way to procreate so i can continue his legacy…
Post # 12
Well strangely enough this happened to me… 10 years ago, 3 months before our wedding my fiance passed away after being diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer only a month earlier. So now ten years later, despite my heart being broken in two and the wind being knocked out of my sails I have met a wonderfully fantastic and gorgeous caring man and we are due to marry in April this year.
Yes, in the back of my mind I think ‘could it happen again? will I lose him? would I survive this time? but I’m sharing this in the hope that if anyone should ever experience the horrific loss of their SO there is still hope for the future.
Sorry to sound so serious! On a lighter note, should I every lose my SO I would consider working for a non-profit organization abroad or become a missionary, failing that…join the circus!
Post # 13
My FI and I talk about this bc well I love to talk …. I’d adopt children and instill the values we hold so that his legacy will still live on. I’d take care of his parents and anyone in his family in need and expect the same =) I love him and now we are one! (even though we’re not married yet lol)
Post # 14
we talk about this all the time, like nearly every other day really. i have personal health issues, so it’s inevitable that we’ll have these convos. we both agreed to pull the plug if it came down to it because neither of us can bare to see the other suffer, even from a measily little paper cut.
FH was born and raised in DC and that’s where his family is, so he’d stay. i grew up in TX and that’s where my family is, so i’d probably move back assuming i could find work over there that was as equivalent to what i’d be doing here.
as far as finding someone else, that part has been touchy. we both want nothing but happiness for the other, but right now, it hurts to think that there is that possibility that either could find someone else to love, even if either were gone. we’ve both said the "i really cannot imagine living the rest of my life without you" thing, but how true it will be if/when either of us passes before the other… who knows. we agreed to get to that if/when the time comes. hurts my heart right now to even think about it…
Post # 15
Oh I don’t know. I guess I would probably travel b/c I work to help support us/secure our future together. If he suddenly wasn’t here I probably wouldn’t see the point in my day-to-day.
And while this is morbid, it’s really good to talk/plan for these things. In fact, FH and I just signed papers for life insurance. I’d highly recommend looking into it if you haven’t already. The younger you are the cheaper the policy, esp if you are under 30.
Post # 16
yikes. i would probably sell everything i own and move to an ashram. i hope he can wait 30 or 40 years to pass.