What if he doesn't want to own a home?

posted 3 years ago in Home
Post # 3
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

What if you could compromise? It sounds like a home or townhome in a community with an HOA that handles yard maintenance may be a good middle ground. You get someplace to call your own that you can paint at your whim, but your HOA fees cover the outside maintenence. You would still be responsible for interior maintenance, which he may not want. And if you looked for one of the new “town center” style communities, you could still be in walking distance to shops and restaurants, giving it the flavor of city living with the safety of suburbia.

Post # 4
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Macsgirl14:  Unless homeownership is right around the corner, I think it’s a good idea to save money with the goal of buying “a home” and then waiting until you’re ready to buy to decide whether it will be a house with a yard or a deluxe apartment in the sky. You might change your mind, he might change his… so don’t worry about it right now. 🙂 This reminds me of how my DH and I once had a fight about baby names… we aren’t even TTC yet! After a little back and forth, we were like, let’s save the arguing for when there’s actually a baby on the way. Lol.

Good luck with the savings! I’m sure you guys will be able to work out a good compromise. 🙂

Post # 7
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@KatieBklyn:  I think this is a good idea as long as you agree on the basic issue – are you going to own a home or rent? Deciding on the type of home can wait, but it is important that goals match up. It’s the same with arguing about baby names – so long as you are both on the same page about having kids, it can wait.

Post # 8
3948 posts
Honey bee

i agree with the PP that you should continue to save for a while before making any decisions on what kind of home to buy. A few years ago I HATED the thought of yardwork, gardening, etc. but now I love working in the yard! You guys sound like a young couple so give it some time and your priorities and wants might change.

Post # 9
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Maybe you guys could rent a home in the city – same concept as the townhouse, as far as less maintenence responsibility, but still in the city? My husband and I were always talking about owning a home & shopping for houses a few years ago, now we’ve both changed our minds and really want to either rent a house, or buy a townhouse instead. Neither of us persuaded the other, it just kind of worked out that we changed our minds (prob due to $ circumstances) Anyway, I’d save up for a “Future Fund.” Maybe he’ll change his mind and then you can use the $ for downpayment. Either way you need to be ok with the idea that he might not change his mind. Maybe the promise of a man cave could sway him in your direction…Smile

Post # 10
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Macsgirl14:  I did the whole house and marriage thing and while I loved being married and am starting my second marriage this fall, I have zero desire to own a house because it was too much work and responsibility.  Things broke all the time and I had to spend money, time, and energy fixing them or hiring someone else to do it.  There was always yard maintenance to do and I felt trapped in that damn house (probably didn’t help that my first marriage was failing at the time we moved into the house either.)

I love the idea of renting so someone else can take care of everything but I also like the idea of possibly buying a condo or townhouse some day with the idea that I could sell it or rent it quickly should I need to move (I want to have flexibility in my life so I can take a job offer in a different city if necessary; I have to move to make more money at this point in my career.)

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