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Girls,
Tell me what you would do if your fiance slept in a bed with another girl who is "just one of the guys". If nothing happened between the two of them, what would you do?
NO. It's that simple. He can sleep with the guys for the rest of his days, since I will not.
He would need to have my foot surgically removed from his ass.
I would definitely NOT be happy with that! Can you explain the circumstance though, where that might happen? My guy is way past his days of sleepover parties! :)
@Lindsay12.31.2010: Ditto.
He's a married man. It is not okay for him to share a bed with any other woman, I don't care who she is.
Laugh at the situation and not worry about it any more. I would expect FI to be okay if I slept in a bed with a guy who was "just one of the girls" if you know what I mean.
I think it depends on the circumstance and who its with. FI and I have a really close group of friends. If we were having a house party or something and we crashed in a bed with one of them neither of us would have a problem with it. But outside of that group I would not be cool with it. My guess is if you're asking though it was inappropriate
Maybe it would be ok if she was like 1 of 5 people that passed out drunk and fully clothed on a bed… but wait, college is long over…
Honestly, I can't think of a single scenario that doesn't end with a bloody, violent death.
I'm assuming you weren't enlightened until after the fact?
My FI and I are in graduate school aka we're poor so when he's wanted to go to a workshop in Florida with 3 other students (total 3 guys, one girl who I'm super close too) I told him he could share a bed with her so neither of them felt obligated to sleep on the floor for a week.
When one of my besties got married my guy was gone on a research boat. My other BFF also couldn't attend due to a conflict with a conference and only her guy could go. I shared a room and slept in the same bed with her boyfriend but of course, I asked my guy and my friend.
These are all mutual friends of both me and my FI. If it was a girl I didn't know I'd be peeved but in these cases we both agreed beforehand that it was totally cool.
Depends on the circumstances, but bottom line, I trust my partner. If he thinks it is ok, then I'm (probably - like I said, depends on the circumstances to a certain extent) ok with his choices.
@MissTurtle27: Well, okay. He would be spared death in this instance.
Thank you!
He doesn't see anything wrong with it. Circumstances are; night at the casino with the guys, the girl who is "one of the guys", and a BF and GF. Everyone gets drunk, FI goes back to the room and passes out on the bed. Infamaous girl decides to sleep on the bed with FI. Apparently there were blankets in between, nothing happened, and I believe it, but FI sees nothing wrong with it because "nothing happened". Am I crazy or is it just innapropriate?!! What do I do? He's also been making innapropriate comments about girls in front of me lately. I need advice.
Definitely NOT OK!!!! There is never any excuse to be in the same bed as a woman....."one of the guys" or not...it is completely inappropruate! I have many girlfriends who are "one of the guys" with certain friends but I know a few of them only play that role because they can get closer to the guy they like. It is NEVER OK!!!
You're an adult, how do you feel and what do you want to do about the situation?
it all boils down to communication with your guy.
Although if he fell asleep and she hopped into bed with him, then it's not like it was his decision. He should still feel bad about it in the morning, but it would be worse in my mind if he opted to climb into bed with a girl, rather than being asleep and having it happen to him.
I'm not really okay with it. Regardless of intention, I think it's disrespectful to your partner and inappropriate.
She is not a mutual friend, so I thought it wasn't right. Call me old fashioned, but I would never sleep in a bed with another man, whether he was just one of the girls, or a friend. It's just not right, and shame on her for thinking it was ok to crawl into bed with someone else's man. RESPECT. I feel there is a lack there of on his part and hers.
I would not be okay with him sharing a bed with a women unless she was related to him. There are NO circumstances I can think of that it would be okay with me, Were the tables turned I would sleep on the floor rather than in a bed with another man, luckily I know my bf feels the same way.
I'm a firm believer in going with your gut instinct. You need to tell him how you feel and he needs to understand where you are coming from.
drunk? not okay at all.
If she's one of the guys and if 3 people were in the bed and fiance was 1 person removed from her, then it's okay. (ie. if the hotel was supposed to give 2 double beds but they ended up in a room with 1 king bed and no rollaways)...But never if they're drunk.
@Miss OBG:true, I understand if she crawled in when he was passed out but but it's him thinking it's ok to be sleeping next to another woman and her lack of respect. The other guys slept on the floor purposely so they wouldn't have an issue. They have girlfriends and wives and apparently know whats appropriate.
I think you should be honest with him about how you feel. If she's really "one of the guys" I doubt you have anything to be concerned about....but if you have doubts about that...then maybe there is reason for concern.
I do think it's really dependent on the circumstances!
@msgraphics: Exactly what I was thinking...We aren't in college anymore.
@lillikins611: Make sure he understands how this makes you feel, along with the other inappropriate behaviour you mentioned. Hopefully the situation is that he just isn't hearing what you are tring to say to him, and when he does he will listen and take note. Make sure you talk to him honetsly.
MUTUAL friends (as in, within our crew) yeah... cuz everyone's married and we're all comfortable with each other.
Outside of that, and if I found out AFTER the fact, that would be the end - bottom line.
@lillikins611: Respect. Exactly. I'll admit, I used to be "One of the Guys" and it's not until I fell head over heels in love that I realized that I acted inappropriately or pushed envelopes on occassion with guys I was buddies with that were in serious relationships or marriages.
When you are in a relationship (or you're around someone who is in one) there are things ya don't do, places you shouldn't go (....like a bed....), things ya shouldn't say, etc. Trust is fantastic, but respect is very important as well.
@brandylynnp:I did talk to him, and it turned into an argument. I did also speak to his friend who told me I have nothing to worry about,( he also thougt it was innapropriate) and I know nothing happened, but just can't shake the fact that he sees nothing wrong with it.
Am i making an issue bigger than it needs to be, is it cold feet? I don't know.
I find it disrespectful no matter the circumstance. I wouldn't be okay with it...at all!
I wouldn't mind. Especially if he told me about it beforehand and there was good reason.
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