Weddingbee boards

Longtime lurker here who felt moved to post. I was in a somewhat similar situation--and honestly, I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I know you see all these images of tons of happy, glowing bridesmaids and hear about crazy bachelorettes and it sounds really exciting and you feel jealous. But then you also hear the horror stories of BMs not getting along, difficulty coordinating everything, girls who don't order dresses in time, etc. So take comfort in knowing that you won't have to deal with the logistical and emotional complications of a large wedding party.

On a more fundamental level, remember that this is about you and your FI, not about living up to some standard invented by the WIC so they can sell extra overpriced BM dresses. Your FI can always honor his friends by asking them to be ushers/including them in the rehearsal dinner/whatever makes sense for you guys.

I personally, being a bit of a recluse, took far more comfort and pleasure in the quality time I spent with my two attendants than I would have if more people had been involved. Plus, having just the two of them allowed me time to reflect on my own emotions and anticipation and really think about the significance and wonder of what my FI and I were about to do in a way that probably wouldn't have been possible with a whole posse of bridesmaids surrounding me.

I am in a very similiar situation, but neither of us of friends. We had my son at a young age, so we lost contact with most of them because we couldn't go out and drink every weekend. I only have one best friend but she lives 6 hours away, other then that I may ask my cousin but I haven't decided that yet.

I am having a somewhat similar issue in that I have plenty of people about. But I don't want just anyone in my party. I feel it's such an honor, and I want people who feel honored, not just fair weather friends who are just wanting to be a part for the sake of being a part but won't be there for life, who will just dissapear after the wedding. The FI and I want people who will be in our lives to share honor on our special day.

I am having just a MOH and FI is having a best man for similiar reasons (he had to choose between 2 very close friends-love him). I am worried now that there will be more FIL family friends at the wedding than actual friends of ours. A bridal party of 2 is fine and think of the great time you 3 could have together on the bachlorette party. I know my MOH and I are super excited to plan a weekend trip for the 2 of us for my bachlorette party.

I am going through the same thing. My sister is way older than me and we just are not close. If I was going to have anyone up there with me it would be her, but when I am around her I turn into this shy quite little sister girl and I just don't want that for my wedding. I have a cousin and maybe one or two friends I could of asked, but I felt that no one really knows me and FI's relationship. And I know myself, if I had a bridal party, I would be so wrapped up in making sure they are happy and are having a good time and to cater to their needs. So I just said no party for me.

My FI wants his best friend as a best man and I am all for it but he keeps saying if I am not having anyone then he can't have anyone. I am going to find a special job for his best friend that he can do so that way their friendship can be honored.

Sometimes I feel like I missing out on having a posse of girls to experience this with, but then I think about all the things I don't have to worry about like dresses or gifts or making sure they aren't spending too much money, or the logistics of having out of town bridesmaids who don't know each other.

@ohmybears48:  My FI has 4 brothers and 5 best friends who he has participated in all of their weddings.  Although also not a loner, I had a close group of friends in high school that made some bad choices (got into drugs and became swingers) thus I don't have a large group of friends either.  Most of my family has been estranged all of my life so it would be awkward to ask my cousins.  We discussed it and decided based on our intimate wedding (65 guests) what made the most sense was for us to forgo a tradition wedding party and instead enlist special tasks to ensure we could include all these people in other ways.  My sister will assist her kids (flower girl and ring bearer) in walking down the aisle.  Our brothers will help seat people.  His friends will pass out programs and assist in getting people to the next room for cocktail hour and run a cocktail hour mixer activity.  As an added bonus, none of these people had to pay to rent a suit or a tux, so we were able to save them some money:).

I'm glad someone started a thread like this.  I searched for one months ago, but it seemed like everyone was overloaded with friends and couldn't narrow thier list down, lol.  We aren't the most social couple as far as parties and bars go, so we don't have huge groups of friends. My fiance had three high school friends he wanted as groomsmen, but now they don't talk to us... and I had one high school friend I wanted to be my MOH, but she doesn't talk to me now either. (all for stupid reasons) I'm an only child and my fiance only has half siblings who are a lot older than us, so no family options.  We were starting to think it would just be us up at the alter.  We thought about it for months and asked some friends that we didn't see all the time, but were always there when we needed them.  We are certain that they are not just fair weather friends.... they are people just like us who have busy lives and just aren't always around to hang out!  My MOH is wonderful and is married and has a baby and is way past the drama stage.  She lives in Hawaii and I'm in Virginia, but will be here for the wedding and the distance hasn't been a problem since we are always emailing and facebooking ideas back and forth.    We are going to have two bridesmaids and two groomsmen and I think that will be plenty.  Hopefully things will come together in the end for you too!  

OP, don't be afraid to ask the friend that lives in another state! If you want to even out your ladies with the number of groomsmen, maybe see if your fiance would be okay with some of the men being ushers, but not standing up during the ceremony?  Are any of his friends married to really nice women that would want to participate?  I had to consider that myself before everyone stopped talking to us, lol.