Post # 1
Ok, so I have been thinking about how to handle this one for years! My fiance and I have been living together since 07 and don’t really need anything to fill a home we already own and filled, you know, the normal things people would register for. Becuase we will be paying for a lot of the wedding ourselves, I would much rather just have the amount people would have spent on a gift in cash. I know it may sound really rude but it would really help us out. Do you think if I just don’t register anywhere people will get the hint? I don’t know how to handle this one without sounding like a money-hungry jerk! Please help me!
Post # 3
I think that is the consensus – if you don’t register any where the MAJORITY of the people will give you money!
However, there will be people who will want to give you a physical gift and so beware that you may end up with something you really don’t want and won’t use!
Post # 4
We’re in the same boat… we’ve lived together for almost 2 years. Everything we have it new. We don’t need gifts. We’re not going to put anything in the invitation but when people ask our parents, we’re going to get them to tell people we’d just like money towards our honeymoon. OR if you want to put something in the invitation, you can google wording for it. There’s different rymes and stuff that would be cute.
Here’s a link with some…
Post # 5
Have you considered a honeymoon registry? or registering for gift cards to favorite restaurants, etc through a site like Amazon?
Post # 6
Same situation! My fiance and I talk about it all the time – we have all of the things we need. I really like the advice above, though. One friend advised me that most people will give cash anyway, and that most presents you’d receive would be at a shower.
Post # 7
Unfortunately, if you do not register, people will buy you gifts that you didn’t get to pick out. For this reason, I would register so that you can have control over the gifts. Try spreading through word of mouth that you would prefer to receive cash.
Post # 8
If you have a shower, they will definitely want to buy you a gift, not money. But if you have your home set up, maybe you won’t be having a shower. (Since that’s why they’re traditionally held.)
But for the wedding, most people will probably give you money anyway. And without a registry, they’ll be even more inclined.
Post # 9
@sunshine – thanks for the link!! It has great ideas and I am sure I will use one of those scripts suggested!!
I am sure what you guys said is true, there are some people out there whom will just want to give us a physical gift, no matter what, and I am thinking that it would probably be a good idea to register a few items, no more than ten, to give those people some ideas.
Thanks for all the help! glad I am not alone and am feeling more at ease already!!
Post # 10
No matter what, people will buy you stuff, so it’s best (IMHO) to have one registry of stuff you’d want, even if it’s “silly” stuff – for example, hubby doesn’t like gifts at all, and we didn’t need a lot of stuff either, but we do have a Keurig coffeemaker so we registered for the little k-cups. Plus, if you register for stuff from a brick and mortar place that is convenient to you, you usually have the option of taking the gifts back for store credit to buy stuff you want – again, we got this cake stand we really didn’t need from Kohls (where we registered) so we were able to get a gift card in its amount and hubby was able to buy some new workout clothes. =D
Post # 11
I think having a small registry with some things that you need would be a good idea. Don’t have any bridal showers (since people get gifts for those) and ask your parents to say that you would like cash when people ask where you are registered or what you want for gifts. Just have them say that since you have been living together for 3 years, you don’t need a lot of the normal stuff anymore. That is what we did and we got mostly cash.
Post # 12
Well, the point is, people will give gifts whether or not you WANT them. I would suggest doing a small registry, filling it with things you will may always need. Like, fluffy towels, an extra set of sheets, Brita filters, swiffer wipes, that sort of thing. People may give cash if there isn’t a lot of on there. ALso, word of mouth is a great way to pass on the message that tangible gifts aren’t necessary.
Post # 13
Don’t register and don’t say anything else about it. If someone does buy you a gift, which many people will do, you accept it graciously and then send out thank you notes. Be aware though that if you don’t register, you will end up with gifts you don’t want and may not able to return anywhere.
Post # 14
Same situation here. No registry and no bridal shower. Case closed? Hardly, now guests who are not able to come to the wedding are asking “Regretfully, we can’t attend your wedding. Where are you registered? We’d like to send you a gift”. Talk about being bit in the @$$.
Feeling kinda bad about it now. FMIL was right all along. Darn it!
Post # 15
I wanted to specify no gifts on the wedding invites but was told it was a no no to do so. However, I did have the wedding web site URL on the reply cards as well as the STD cards and on the web site it was clearly stated that the only gifts we wanted was the “honor of your presence” on our wedding day! I should add that only half of our guests listened to us and the other half gave us money.
Post # 16
I don’t know if it was because of our age or because it was well known that it wasn’t the first wedding for either of us, but we had no registry and only ended up with two gifts that were not money.