Post # 1
Short version: I’m turning 28 this year, and it worries me that I have no baby fever at all. NONE. I have puppy fever, but zero baby fever.
Expansion: Having kids has always been in my “life plan”, and SO and I have talked about kids. There was a pretty bad waiting period for us because it was really important to me that we enjoy a few years together as a married couple before having kids. I also realize, though, that if we have kids, it should be within the next few years. I’m worried, though, that I don’t have any desire for a baby right now. Our lives are going well, I’m only 2 years into working in my field and establishing myself. My concern is that I’ll never really truly want a baby. I can’t grasp the thought of being pregnant. The thought of having a dog is a FAR more appealing option to me. Have the rest of you gone through this? Did something just “click” inside you one day, or did you say “screw it”, went ahead and got pregnant, and maternal instincts kicked in? Or did you see those feelings as a sign you shouldn’t have a kid at all? I’d really appreciate hearing your experience.
Post # 3
@abirdword: I feel the SAME WAY. I see the future of having a baby, but I don’t see a pregnancy, don’t see having a teenager, don’t see being a grandma, etc.
It’s SO WEIRD. I understand your feelings COMPLETELY!
Post # 4
Same boat as you. 26, zero desire to have children. I am incredibly maternal, towards sick people or animals. Give me a baby and I’ll just look at a drooling puke ball and give it back.
I always said I wanted children, I told my husband that when we began dating. It was always in my idea of my life to have kids, but now I think back that it was because that’s what people do. You’re “supposed” to get married and have babies.
Not so sure I want children. Give me a kitten, puppy, pony or toad any day, but at this point in my life, the idea of a child is not appealing.
My husband wants children, so I’ll probably cave and have children, but I really don’t have any desire to.
I raised my godson — I love him more than the stars in the night’s sky, and the child is absolutely wonderful. I’d give my left arm for him if needed… but seeing him didn’t make me want “my own child.” I did the 4 AM feedings, the colic, all sorts of baby medical issues… I went through it all and I never once thought, “Gee, this is for me.”
No real help to you, but just letting you know that you’re not alone.
Post # 5
@Hyperventilate: hey, knowing I’m not alone’s real help!
Post # 6
@abirdword: You are not alone. I never got baby fever, never had children and I have many friends who did the same. You don’t have to have children just because most of the population does it.
Post # 7
@abirdword: It definitely “clicked” for me!
One week I was fine just working with toddlers, the next week I started bringing my todds out to the playground early to see the infants, I got promoted into the infant department…
And somewhere in there, baby fever beat me over the head with a baseball bat.
But I say, if you want a puppy–get a puppy! Don’t have a baby if you don’t want one. You have 7 years before things even START to look bad fertility-wise! And I’m not 38 and pregnant saying this–I’m 23 (but still pregnant)
Post # 8
You have a lot of time- I know more women almost in their fourties having children that almost in their thirties. Do a little research and you’ll be absolutely surprised. A lot of the data we have and use on fertility is outdated and just plain wrong, because it is also from a time where we died near 40. Don’t worry, enjoy your life,and it’ll come when you feel like it. And if you never feel like it? Oh well. There’re worse things than not having children
Post # 9
I have this worry too! All of my friends are at the point in their lives where they’re having babies and I’m thinking “they’re adorable, but I really like sleeping all night or going on vacation”
I know I want to have a family someday, but having that all consuming I-see-babies-everywhere-fever seems like it’ll never happen.
I’m not sure what to give as far as advice. Just saying I’m another one in the same boat.
Post # 10
Post # 11
I don’t have baby fever currently. I’m about to be 30.
i love kids and I want to have kids I always have, but somehow I feel not right now. I don’t feel jealous of those who are pregnant or have newborns at all. No baby fever for me now
i had my share of baby fever when I was 21 and when I was 25. The longer I put off having kids the less I become interested… But I will have the fever back in a few years again, I guess.
Post # 12
@abirdword: I only got baby fever mayyyyybe a few months ago. I dont really know what triggered it, but it was like my mind and body said “now is the time, woman!” I’m 29, turning 30 in a few months so I dont know if 30 being so close triggered it. Or maybe the fact that I’m fairly established in my career. Or maybe its that the nights out and the partying and the “just the two of us” bliss is getting a bit stale. Who knows. But even now TTC I go through waves of “WTF am I thinking?!? I’m too young for this!”
We did get a dog first and I had major major major puppy fever waay before baby fever. Go with that and see if you springboard to baby fever after that 🙂 And if you don’t, that’s fine too. It’s not a bad thing and I think its pretty normal. You’re ready when you’re ready and if you’re never ready then you are never ready.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@abirdword: If you’re husband is colol with it, why worry? You really have until 35 to really start worrying if you want kids. But there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all. Some people just don’t want kids and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Post # 14
Starting from when I was a teenager, I always wanted kids. My “baby fever” really started when I was 21 and my younger sister had a baby. Her stay at home mom/wife role seemed a lot more appealing than my role as a working college student.
Then, as life got harder for her it seemed a lot less appealing. I spent a few years questioning if I even wanted children. Recently my desire to have them came back. I think it happened when I moved in with FI and I could really picture us living together with a family.
Post # 15
@abirdword: I just turned 29. When I graduated from college I had dog fever badly, I wanted a boyfriend and children eventually…but I mostly wanted a boyfriend and a dog.
I got a boyfriend at 26 who turned out to be scum, then at 28 I met my FI who has me very excited about babies and kids. You don’t have to want everything at once…plus you’re 28 and not 38….you have another 5 or so years to decide.
Post # 16
I can totally relate. That was me up until I got pregnant. We weren’t trying persey but now that I’m pregnant I’m so excited! I always said that although I wanted kids I don’t know that is ever consent to having them as in ok today we are going to actively try to conceive. I always felt I’d need it to happen by accident (though unprotected sex when not on BC isn’t exactly a total accident!) my point is I’m not sure of ever have felt totally reAdy but that feeli g does change when you get pregnant.