What if I never get baby fever?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@abirdword:  I feel the SAME WAY. I see the future of having a baby, but I don’t see a pregnancy, don’t see having a teenager, don’t see being a grandma, etc.

It’s SO WEIRD. I understand your feelings COMPLETELY! 

Post # 4
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Same boat as you. 26, zero desire to have children. I am incredibly maternal, towards sick people or animals. Give me a baby and I’ll just look at a drooling puke ball and give it back.

I always said I wanted children, I told my husband that when we began dating. It was always in my idea of my life to have kids, but now I think back that it was because that’s what people do. You’re “supposed” to get married and have babies.

Not so sure I want children. Give me a kitten, puppy, pony or toad any day, but at this point in my life, the idea of a child is not appealing.

My husband wants children, so I’ll probably cave and have children, but I really don’t have any desire to.

I raised my godson — I love him more than the stars in the night’s sky, and the child is absolutely wonderful. I’d give my left arm for him if needed… but seeing him didn’t make me want “my own child.” I did the 4 AM feedings, the colic, all sorts of baby medical issues… I went through it all and I never once thought, “Gee, this is for me.”

No real help to you, but just letting you know that you’re not alone.

Post # 6
2701 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@abirdword:  You are not alone. I never got baby fever, never had children and I have many friends who did the same. You don’t have to have children just because most of the population does it.

Post # 7
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@abirdword:  It definitely “clicked” for me!

One week I was fine just working with toddlers, the next week I started bringing my todds out to the playground early to see the infants, I got promoted into the infant department…

And somewhere in there, baby fever beat me over the head with a baseball bat.

But I say, if you want a puppy–get a puppy! Don’t have a baby if you don’t want one. You have 7 years before things even START to look bad fertility-wise! And I’m not 38 and pregnant saying this–I’m 23 (but still pregnant)

Post # 8
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You have a lot of time- I know more women almost in their fourties having children that almost in their thirties. Do a little research and you’ll be absolutely surprised. A lot of the data we have and use on fertility is outdated and just plain wrong, because it is also from a time where we died near 40.  Don’t worry, enjoy your life,and it’ll come when you feel like it. And if you never feel like it? Oh well. There’re worse things than not having children

Post # 9
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have this worry too! All of my friends are at the point in their lives where they’re having babies and I’m thinking “they’re adorable, but I really like sleeping all night or going on vacation” 

I know I want to have a family someday, but having that all consuming I-see-babies-everywhere-fever seems like it’ll never happen. 

I’m not sure what to give as far as advice. Just saying I’m another one in the same boat. 

Post # 11
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I don’t have baby fever currently. I’m about to be 30.

i love kids and I want to have kids I always have, but somehow I feel not right now. I don’t feel jealous of those who are pregnant or have newborns at all. No baby fever for me now

i had my share of baby fever when I was 21 and when I was 25. The longer I put off having kids the less I become interested… But I will have the fever back in a few years again, I guess.

Post # 12
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@abirdword:  I only got baby fever mayyyyybe a few months ago. I dont really know what triggered it, but it was like my mind and body said “now is the time, woman!” I’m 29, turning 30 in a few months so I dont know if 30 being so close triggered it. Or maybe the fact that I’m fairly established in my career. Or maybe its that the nights out and the partying and the “just the two of us” bliss is getting a bit stale. Who knows. But even now TTC I go through waves of “WTF am I thinking?!? I’m too young for this!”

We did get a dog first and I had major major major puppy fever waay before baby fever. Go with that and see if you springboard to baby fever after that 🙂 And if you don’t, that’s fine too. It’s not a bad thing and I think its pretty normal. You’re ready when you’re ready and if you’re never ready then you are never ready.

Post # 13
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@abirdword:  If you’re husband is colol with it, why worry?  You really have until 35 to really start worrying if you want kids.  But there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all.  Some people just don’t want kids and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Post # 14
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Starting from when I was a teenager, I always wanted kids. My “baby fever” really started when I was 21 and my younger sister had a baby. Her stay at home mom/wife role seemed a lot more appealing than my role as a working college student.

Then, as life got harder for her it seemed a lot less appealing. I spent a few years questioning if I even wanted children. Recently my desire to have them came back. I think it happened when I moved in with FI and I could really picture us living together with a family.

Post # 15
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@abirdword:  I just turned 29.  When I graduated from college I had dog fever badly, I wanted a boyfriend and children eventually…but I mostly wanted a boyfriend and a dog.


I got a boyfriend at 26 who turned out to be scum, then at 28 I met my FI who has me very excited about babies and kids.  You don’t have to want everything at once…plus you’re 28 and not 38….you have another 5 or so years to decide.

Post # 16
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can totally relate. That was me up until I got pregnant. We weren’t trying persey but now that I’m pregnant I’m so excited! I always said that although I wanted kids I don’t know that is ever consent to having them as in ok today we are going to actively try to conceive. I always felt I’d need it to happen by accident (though unprotected sex when not on BC isn’t exactly a total accident!) my point is I’m not sure of ever have felt totally reAdy but that feeli g does change when you get pregnant.

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors