What if, less were more??????????? Weigh in on this one

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@creeative1:  My wedding was definitely a less is more event.

I mean, I did the regular catering, but we had soup, salad, sandwiches & sheet cake.

I did have an open bar, but I stocked it myself & found my bartender on Craigslist.

I wore a very very simple wedding dress that I found on ebay.

& at the end of the day, the pictures were the most important to me, since they will be the things that last. & the commitment was always the first thing on my mind.

If I had it to do over again, I would probably hold a very small event only for our nearest & dearest & save myself the stress of trying to make 100 people happy. & you’re right, I’m sure pretty much everybody forgot about the whole day almost as soon as it was over.

Post # 4
Member
752 posts
Busy bee

@creeative1:  Well said lady!  I wonder all of that myself!  

As an example: My mom’s wedding dress was straight off the rack from Penney’s, 35 years ago.  Something like 70 bucks at the time I think.  I got married in her dress 9 years ago, and I looked and felt beautiful.  Since I’ve become a regular Bee poster I am AMAZED at how much women pay for dresses – thousands of dollars!  Hoop skirts!  Handmade lace!  and I wonder how much my head would have spun if I would have bought into all of that 9 years ago, and when my subsequent breakdown would have been over money.  :/

Good luck to you, and to your lucky FI, on your journey towards marriage!  It’s the relationship that’s important – not so much the day!  

Post # 5
Member
2912 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

America goes over the top for pretty much everything. It’s good and bad.

In my circle we don’t have things like 250 person weddings, bridal showers, rehersal dinners, expensive favors etc. We just have the wedding (between 25 – 100 people is standard) then sometimes the following day there will be a byo picnic/bbq at the beach or somewhere nice. Its much less stressful. 

We do have a hens night (bachelorette party) but they are never to expensive like a whole weekend in Vegas. It’s always just a lovely lunch or boozy dinner. My girls are all going to an outdoor boutique brewery to drink and watch a band play under the stars. Easy peasy.

Post # 6
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

Girl, you need to be reading A Practical Wedding. The blog, and the book

I think the answer is: marketing and sales. Weddings are a huge money-maker in this country, and as soon as someone got the idea that telling brides “it’s YOUR BIG DAY!” would get them to spend all kinds of crazy money…that idea took hold. And now it’s kind of spiraled out of control. Check out this post on the WIC (which, unfort, the Bee is a part of)

This all sounds very hypocritical coming from me, bc we are having a big, formal, fancy wedding. 

I don’t know. I’ve stopped trying to defend my seemingly incongruous decision. 

Embarassed

 

Post # 8
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@creeative1:  I totally hear you on that! My parents had an elobarate wedding. Compared to theirs my wedding is “quaint” and I am having a back tie affair…. lol 

Post # 9
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I had a fairly  elegant and expensive wedding by Bee standards,  something the parents wanted and were able to do for us. I’m not sure that planning HAS to be stressful or that the meaning gets lost just because the wedding is expensive.   For the most part, I really enjoyed the process.  We kept it as  simple as possible.  We had a relatively short engagement.  We dispensed with a large bridal party and all the inconvenience, expense and  drama that can go along  with them. My close friends and family members all had roles in my wedding, but they were able to dress as they wished and show up on the day as a guest. I wanted no showers, registries or  bachelor or bachelorette parties. We chose a well known and reputable venue that we could totally rely on for everything.  We did it locally,  so that it was convenient for the people who meant the most to us, and invited everyone we felt deserved to be there.  

But really, I agree in principle with everything you just wrote.  

Post # 10
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@creeative1:  As other bees have said, it’s definately a money making marketing scheme. But I think it’s also  part of the America way of “keeping up with the Joneses”.  Women have been made to feel that their wedding will not be good enough if it’s not huge and over the top. We have glamorized psycho bridezillas. Quite frankly, I am having 175 people and I think we did an awesome job with our budget. Some of the best weddings I have been to were not glitzy and over the top.  They were filled with love, emotions, sentiment, and good times with friends/family. No one is ever going to rememmber that you spent $2000 on special chairs for your wedding reception. I tried to keep that in focus because it is so easy to get swept up in the “everything has to be top of the line and perfect” feeling.

Post # 11
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@creeative1:  I totally agree. Eventhough we are doing a wedding it is the bare minimum and just simplified down from other weddings we’ve been at. If we dont get something we like we just move on and dont stress but both of us have been trying to write our vows for the last few months and its probably the most stressful thing for the wedding for us, expressing how we feel and our commintment. Its the most important part and we both are feeling the pressure to get it right, we care so much less about the festivities. 

Post # 12
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My sentiments exactly. To me the details will not be remembered (I don’t remember them from other wedddings) so why worry about it. Yes I am still having some “nicer” things, but we are really happy with our decision. I only spent $350 on my dress, we’re using a regular restaurant at $10/person for dinner, and we’re not doing any additional decorations to the venue. Keeping it simple makes it a lot less stressful, and much easier to focus on the marriage ahead. Sometimes I wonder why I’m on this site because majority want the big extravagant wedding and are willing to spend a LOT of money, and stress over every detail..

 

Post # 13
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Haha, our parents and grandparents’ weddings were way bigger and fancier than ours. Sometimes “the old days” weren’t actually simpler/cheaper/better! My mom’s dress cost more (thirty-five years ago) than mine did this year!

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