Post # 1
Im having an emotional day and have been wondering for a few days now: what if no one comes to my wedding?
We are from St. Louis, MO and having a destionation wedding in St. Augustine, FL. Sounds exciting but I sometimes wonder about how much my friends and family care.
I just sometimes feel that I am a better friend and family member to everyone else than they are to me. I will do anything for my friends and family. Meanwhile, I cant even get my friends and family to vote for me in any silly contest I enter to win free wedding stuff that relies on FB votes.
Anyways, that made me think, what if no one cares enough to come to my wedding? I try and convince myself that even if its just me and my fiance it will be a special day, which it will, but I want to have my friends and family there.
Oh well thats just my vent session. Sorry im ovulating and its raining…lol
Post # 3
I don’t think voting for someone in silly online contests is a practical judge of how much you care about someone. I have a friend who’s always posting coupon stuff and “join this to help me!” stuff on FB… she’s one of my best friends, but I just don’t like doing stuff like that, so I almost never click on any of it. I was in her wedding 3 years ago, though, and it was one of the most amazing times that I’d always do again.
I know sometimes it’s easy to get down, but remember that your friends and family DO love you! Maybe try and reach out to a few of them without involving wedding talk? Sometimes brides get a little too wedding focused and forget most people just don’t care as much. Call up one of your friends and chat about the latest movies or their last vacation. I’m sure you’ll both appreciate the talk (:
And frankly… the problem is, while you might go to the ends of the earth for someone, it’s not a points system where you earn favors in return. If you’re happy to self-sacrifice for people, great! But you have to accept that they aren’t always going to return the favor – not everyone has a service-oriented personality (my mom is like you, I’m not and we have this discussion a lot b/c she does WAY too much for people sometimes and gets hurt when they don’t return in kind).
Chin up, I’m sure your wedding will be BEAUTIFUL and everyone will love it (:
Post # 4
Don’t worry! People will come to your wedding for sure. And since it’s still more than a year away, they will have plenty of time to save/plan! Florida is a much easier place to get to than some other places outside the U.S. and many people travel throughout the US for weddings!
As for the FB poll thing, I definitely would NOT take that as a sign that no one cares! Many of my friends do stuff like that on FB and I love them to death but I don’t vote (mostly because I have to sign up for stuff or register for a website in order to vote). So as much as it stinks you may not be able to get free wedding stuff, that doesn’t mean no one cares or loves you!
Post # 5
Something like this happened to my family a few years ago. I had an uncle pass (mom’s brother), and people who we didnt even know from 100’s of miles away showed up to support us, mean while my parent’s congregation didn’t even bother give my mom (who suffered a miscarriage at the same time) a call or sign of support.
But when I complained to a teacher of mine, that people who should have been there werent, she gave me the wisest advice ever. She told me: Don’t expect anything from anybody. Because those who you expect most from, will disapoint you, but those who you never expected will surprise you.
Don’t feel down! I’m kinda on the same boat, I’m having a road trip wedding about an hour drive from town, but whoever shows are those who really care!!
Post # 6
@LuvMyBunny: I’m sure that you and your Fiance matter very much to your family members and friends. Regarding voting on FB, I personally work off of FB’s secure server, so I cannot load any FB applications and generally cannot vote for anything for which my FB friends ask me to vote. I just don’t want to compromise the security of my account by switching from the secure server to the regular server to be able to do that. Perhaps some of your family and friends feel this way as well.
As for your loved ones attending your destination wedding, that may be an issue of genuine concern. Those who decline your invitation may be doing so simply because of the fact that you are having a destination wedding. Some may truly wish they were able to celebrate with you on your big day but may not be able to afford the cost of the airline tickets, hotel accomodations, meals out, etc. that would be involved in making such a trip, along with giving you a gift. Others may not be able to arrange for time off from work or child care. If you do not have a large number of guests attending, I would not assume it is because people do not care about you.
Finally, I see that your wedding date is more than a year away. Have you already committed to your venue and vendors? If not, and if being surrounded by family and friends is extremely important to you, perhaps you may want to reconsider your thoughts about having a Destination Wedding.
Post # 7
Not everyone takes online contests seriously, so I dont think that is in anyway related to how much people care about you. I’m sure some people will be able to travel to your wedding and even if others cant afford to or arent able to that doesnt mean they dont care about you.
Post # 8
First of all, *hugs.* I know that is a stressful thought, but I feel like it is one everyone has at some point. But I’ve never heard of those fear being realized. Even if you don’t have a huge wedding, the people you love the most will be there. And, like you said, your one greatest love will DEFINITELY be there 🙂 Try not to worry dear, things will be okay!
Post # 9
@LuvMyBunny: Sweetie, I know what you mean!! I kind of feel the same way you do. But you know what, at the end of the day you have your FH who loves you dearly. You can only focus on things that you have control over – which is yourself, and your own actions and reactions. You don’t have control over other people. If people aren’t as supportive as you want, or if they aren’t as nice as you want – unfortunately there’s nothing you can do about it. You can only “kill them with kindness” and be the best person you can be and focus on that.
Post # 10
I never vote for online contests because they require too much personal information. In other news, I had a dream last night that no one came to my wedding!
Post # 11
@debher: That advice is pretty accurate. I just vented about how with our wedding, the people who i think should care the most, dont really seem to and the people who i feel shouldn’t really care all that much are the ones who have been the most supportive and it’s really surprised me. Work friends and even wives/girlfriends of some of my fiance’s friends have shown the most interest and said over and over again how excited they are to celebrate with us. It thrills me to know they’re looking forward to it, but then it also bums me out that certain family members and good friends don’t really seem very enthusiastic or supportive. And I’m not trying to say everyone should be fired up about our wedding, but I’m one of those people who like to think they go out of their way to make others feel good – and I always tell everyone how excited I am for them, etc.
But to the original poster — people will show up – people you probably wouldn’t even expect to show up will…. so try not to worry about that! If I’ve learned anything with this whole wedding planning process, it’s to expect the unexpected!
Post # 12
Only three people need to really be present for your wedding, you, Fi and the preacher.
Post # 13
Hey, I NEVER do those stupid online contest things. Ever. Doesn’t matter who asks me and what it’s for. But, if someone I knew and loved was getting married, you better believe I’d be coming to their wedding (finances permitting).
Post # 14
1. know this, having a destination wedding will cause some people who do love and care about you very much to not attend.
In my case I am not having a destination wedding, but a lot of my family lives far away. So I know many close relatives won’t attend, including my own grandfather. It hurt me at first but I finally came to terms with it.
2. people will come and know that those who do really care about you
3. if for some reason truly no one comes, then look at it as a very intimate setting for you and the love of your life. When it comes down to it a wedding has nothing to do really with the guests it’s about two people joining their lives and making a life long commitment to eachother, and that’s beautiful and perfect with or without guests.
4. I love the last line “Sorry im ovulating and its raining” and I totally totally relate I get the same way!! =]
Post # 15
I got married in St. Augustine! My wedding was just us and our parents.
Did you do RSVPs? That shoud tell you who’s coming.
Post # 16
If people care they will come. I’m having a destination wedding in mexico and I know the people I’am most close to will be there and thats all that matters!