Post # 1
On the phone today my cousin who lives 8 hours away asked if she should rsvp my mom as well because she is the one bringing her down to my wedding. It occured to me at that moment that since they are bringing all three of their children under 5 yrs old down with them, were they planning on bringing them to my mostly child free wedding?(only other children are those in my wedding). What actually got me thinking is the fact that they’re not from here and I can’t imagine who they would know to babysit. Now I couldn’t bring myself at the moment to ask as the situation is a little complicated. Here’s why.
She actually called me to tell me that they hope to be invited to the wedding and to not count them out assuming they couldn’t make it because of the drive, work, or kids. I was so glad because she IS my favorite cousin. She told me she couldn’t imagine not seeing me get married and that her Darling Husband was planning his vacation time around it.
She also offered to bring my mom, who is mentally handicapped because of an accident, when I had just started to think that getting my mom down here didn’t look realistic considering I can’t take the time to fly up, get her, make her arrangements for care during crunch week.
Lastly her mom and I LOATHE each other. Her my mom which is my aunt was livid that my cousin was planning on attending my wedding. and my cousin basically told her to grow up, and that her problems had nothing to do with her.
So given that, would you just leave the kid subject alone? I mean she’s going out of her way for me so much, is this a “let it slide” scenario?
Post # 3
I normally would say no children to a mostly child free wedding but after reading your post I changed my mind. For one, she seems super excited, her husband is revolving his vacation around your wedding and she’s your favorite cousin. Most important is she’s bringing your mom down and to me that gets a ‘free pass’.
I do want to ask… how well behaved are her children? Is there a baby? If having them there won’t be an issue for either you and your Fiance, I say let it go and thank her for bringing your mom to share your special day with you.
Post # 4
If there will be a few other children there, and it is safe/appropriate setting then I would let it slide. She is making arrangements for your mom to be able to attend and that would mean more to me than having a couple extra kids.
Post # 5
I’d let it slide. It would be worth the trade to have your mom there!
Post # 6
I’d hope she doesn’t bring the kid, but considering she’s taking a lot off your plate for your convenience by bringing your mom, I’d want to make her trip as convenient as possible as well. I say if she asks in advance mention that it’s a child free wedding, but if the kid actually shows up and is the age where they can be counted on not to be completely disturbing the ceremony, let it go.
Post # 7
Unfortunately the kids she has and the ones in question if they might rsvp them are ages 5, 3, and 4 months. Ya. She is though a very considerate person and probably wouldnt mind sitting in the crying room or close to it in case of fussiness. I just hope there’s some chance she has arrangements for the kids. Also the kids that ar in the ceremony are both getting picked up by grandparents so it will be a child free reception.
Post # 8
Rather than be surprised, you should talk it over. And if she wants, I say you should let the kids attend.
I can tell you from experience that getting babysitting you can trust in an unfamiliar town is difficult if not impossible. In the unlikely event that anyone grumbles, explain that they had an 8 hour drive and are doing you a huge favour by getting your mother. If they still grumble, tell them you’re the bride and you make the rules :). Or tell them if they want to drive 16 hours and get your mom they can bring their kids too.
p.s. Even if she can get a sitter for the two older ones, she probably can’t for the baby, due to the need to breastfeed. (Pumping is incovenient and not everyone can). Besides, a 4 month old won’t run around and disrupt. I think it’s always ok to make an exception for babies who aren’t mobile (i.e. under about 6-8 months); and parents of older children understand that (or they should).
Post # 9
I would just talk to her about. Maybe approach it like you’re more than welcome to bring the kids, but if you want to have a night with hubby sans kids I’d be happy to help find a sitter. Stress that you’re fine either way, but since she’s going out of her way to help you thought it might be nice for the two of them to get out together.