- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Okay so my best friend (who is one of my bridesmaids) is expecting her second baby any day now. They are going to be surprised by the sex and when I asked her a few weeks ago if they had picked out names I was SHOCKED to hear that if it was a girl they would be naming her Scarlett...which has been the name I've wanted to use since I was old enough to speak...and she knows this. At first I shrugged it off and said it's cool, I mean hey...I don't own the name and it's not like we're five years old. I jokingly said something along the lines of "well I hope you're cool with two Scarlett's in your life one day!" No need to fight over a name especially since I'm not even married yet, much less expecting a daughter, right? Plus, I don't even know that she'll give birth to a girl! She didn't even seem that attached to the name, but said that her husband has always liked it. However, the more and more I think about it, the more I know it will CRUSH me if she has a girl and names her Scarlett :-(
How would you ladies take it if your bff "stole" (man I feel like a five year old saying that) your name?
Been there and done that.
I always wanted the name Jacey for a girl. I said it passing to my cousin. My cousin then used it for her Boys name. I was a little peeved by it all, but Im like, Im not even ready to have kids yet so why am I worrying!
You could always use it as a middle name? :S It sucks but it isnt the end of the world :)
Jacey is TOTALLY a cute girl name! Please tell me she at least spelled it differently for a little boy?
nope.. totally used the spelling and all. boo huh! Poor kid, I think he will revert to spelling his name JC bit more manly :P
My BFF doesn't want to have kids. But yeah, I admit I was a bit crushed when I heard that FH's cousin and wife named their second girl Sonia Marie and I've been wanting to name my child Marie for years. But oh well. At least it's a second name.
I am a part of two camps, 1. it is a free country, so they can name their baby what they want and 2. I would definitely be peeved but only if I was expecting. My hubby and I have chosen a name for our DD and for quite some time we were so worried about someone taking it that we refused to "release" the name especially since I have 3 cousins due in May & June and all expecting girls, right before me. But we have come to the point where we just don't care too much about it. If someone would take the name (it's pretty unique so if someone chose it, they really would have "stolen" it), we would still give our DD that name because that is the name we chose. I am not going to change the name of our daughter because someone else had a lack of creativity and noone "owns" a name anyway. Plus we came up with a plan, lol... The name will be released at the shower and there will be a lot of people there (my family is huge) so if someone took the name, many people would know where it originated from, that's for sure.
I would be upset. But you can't stop her...so maybe talk to her, let her know your concerns, and if she doesn't seem like she will back down easily, let it go. Not much you can do, cause, like you said in your poll, it's a free coutry.
I wish you had another option in the poll :) Yes I would def be upset/disappointed but also think there's no 'claiming' of names. There's a strong chance you guys won't always live in the same area too and then it REALLY won't matter.
yeah - i may be in the minority - but i'd be crushed. i'm not going to lie...course in my situation - the name I have picked out is my great aunt/godmother's name - and it's a family name. my bff would never use it - but if she did I would be upset.
btw - the name is Polish and it's "Casimira" - the female version of "Casimir" (my great-aunt's grandfather/my great-great grandfather...) but my aunt always went by "Kay" and I never even knew her "real" name until after she'd died and I found all of her old paperwork when I was doing my geneaology...
but yeah - we are going with "Casimera Suzanne" - my husband's real mom's name was suzanne. :)
I would be upset and I learned to keep my mouth shut. But who knows you may change your mind or find a name you like even more. I learned this the hard way with my wedding talking out of excitement and my FSIL who wasn't even engaged when I started planning my wedding had a shot gun wedding and took every detail I had mentioned.
My FI and I have already decided on girls names (we can't decide on a boys name) and have vowed to not tell anyone the name evern when I am pregnant. People will learn our baby's name when they arrive at the hospital. Also my FMIL has this thing of telling me a horror story of every child who has had any name I mention (she used to me an ER nurse)
I'd be pretty crushed too actually. I know, I know, its just a name, you can't claim it. But if you've told someone about your plan to use a name, I feel its off limits! It's a respect thing I guess. My closest friends and I have all discussed what our childrens names will be, and we've said YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, jokingly... but not really lol.
Guess I'm a 5 year old :)
I'd be bothered too!! My MOH and I have discussed names and I guess there is always that implicit understanding that you won't "steal" the name from someone else. Although I do think there is a difference depending on how common the name is. I mean if you want to name your daughter Jennifer... well thats pretty common. But Casimira is not. Scarlett... I dunno. Falls in the middle. I'd still be peeved though :)
I would be upset, but there's really nothing you can do. I am sure that your bff KNEW that you had "dibs" on the name when she and her husband chose it. I also have a senaking suspician that her husband only liked the name after she put it on the table as one of the choices. You can talk to her about how much you really wanted the name and see if that sways her but other than that....it's out of your control.
I would be mad. My sister's friend did this to her. they haven't talked since.
I'd be crushed too. My cousin almost stole my girl name, but then changed to something else. I think my Mom was more relieved than I was.
It's always best not to discuss baby names for this reason as well as people raining on your parade. Most expecting couples I've known when asked what they are thinking as far as names give a VERY vague answer like "Oh gosh, we haven't thought about it!" Really?? Yes you have. But that's an appropriate response b/c it's not anyone's business.
I'd probably be disappointed, too, and maybe would mention it to her (not in an angry confrontational way, but just in a "hey, so I have to be honest, I'm pretty disappointed that you chose a name I've wanted to use for a long time" way) and see what she says.
But in her defense, maybe her husband HAS loved that name for a long time. My husband has a couple names he's pretty attatched to, so it could be true. And if I were here, what my husband wanted to name our child would matter more to me than even what my best friend wanted. It's hard to judge.
And even if she does use it, you still can too (and you already hinted to her that you planned to). And come up with an awesome middle name that makes it even more unique :-)
I agree with Moderndaisy. Nobody with any close ties to my life will know the names of our future children until it's on the birth certificate! However, if a friend DID use it, I would definitely be disappointed, but not crushed. I actually get slightly disappointed even when I see random strangers who have the same name as us :p I read once that our girl name is supposed to be a popular name this year, and that definitely had me reconsidering. But then I realized that they are names WE like, and if other people like them too, that's ok! If I wanted them to have a name that nobody else had, I'd make up something, or call them Donut or something :p So yes, I would be disappointed for a minute, but then carry on with my life.
Now, if a FAMILY member "stole" our name (a first cousin, sibling, etc. someone close), then I would be peeved and would change it because I don't want there to be two people in our immediate family with the same name.
I would be upset! I have loved the name Lorelai for as long as I can remember and have always said I want to someday name my daughter that. I remember when my sister was pregnant with her second daughter and was thinking of names, one of her friends suggested Lorelai and she said she couldn't ever do that because it's my favorite name - even though I was only like 15 at the time. It was sweet of her, and I (obviously) still remember it...I just think it's thoughtful to avoid names that you know friends or family want to use!
it is just in bad taste - I would [maybe not so secretly] judge their choices for a while until i could put my big girl pants on. i would never do this - gag. But i'm not going to lie and say it wouldn't piss me off! I wouldn't really tell anybody besides my closest friends names if I was seriously planning on having a child, though. I wouldn't want any copying or criticism..
I would be upset, especially since she knew this. I try to avoid telling people names that I really like just so that they won't steal them. Although it came up in conversation yesterday when my sister, her husband and my mom were all together. They asked what names I like, and my sister actually voiced her dislike of my girl name :(
It's Taymar, an the reason she said she dislikes it is because Taymar is a character in the bible, and she gets raped. But I liked her because she's an incredibly virtuous woman in the story. And I love the name.
For a boy I like Asher, I heard it's starting to get popular again and I'm sad to hear that :( I don't want popular names.
btw @ccrane, I can't believe she named her son Jacey!
Scarlett is getting really popular right now. It seems to be one of the hot names on my "birth board".
Having said that, we haven't told anyone our name. That way if anyone "steals" it, we can't be mad because it was just a coincidence. Besides, I made the mistake of telling one of the nurses and she was quick with a negative comment. Now we just smile and tell people that they'll find out when she's born...
I mean she could have red hair and then we might have to change the name to Ruby (or Scarlett) (tee hee, I kid, I kid).
@Mrs. DG, I agree! People can't really bash the name so much when you're already named your child! The family I used to work for, they did that too. They told no one the names they were considering for their baby until he was born and named. that way they don't have to try to defend themselves.
I know what you mean..I definitely don't want someone to "steal" my babies name though. I've only told close friends what I want to name my little girl, and NO one else. I would be upset, though, if I found out one of my friends took the name I had been saving up to use for when I had a little girl. But, then again...what can you do. I would never "steal" a good friends name, though...no matter how much I liked it!
I've been in love with the name Lily ever since I found it in my maternal family geneology. My aunt on my Dad's side was expecting, and said if she had a girl she liked Lucia. I said 'How beautiful, I love 'L' names. I hope one day I can name my daughter Lily.'
Fast forward a few months and my cousin Lily was born. Hmm.
I got over it, but learnt my lesson, now my favourite names are discussed only with FI.
Same here I loved the name Ava forever and one of my close friends named her daughter Ava. but you know what as much as I liked the name after I met a child named Ava that I actually knew I wasn't so attached to it anymore. Obviously I want the name we pick to relate to the child so I feel like when I'm pregnant it will come to me.
I would be a little upset if the friend KNEW I had wanted that name for a long time. But, in the end, I would get over it because I wouldn't be able to change my mind, and it would make me look stupid if I argued about it.
When we found out we were having a girl we announced her name to the world. My SIL was also pregnant and I wanted to make sure that I kinda had "dibs." I met with my BFF and she mentioned that her FI really likes a boy's name...THE boy's name, as in the one we would have used if we found out we were having a boy. I had no idea what to say, I was conflicted. I kept it to myself but that night I texted her that if we had a boy, that had been our choice. I never heard back from her. It's still our choice for a boy's name and if we have a boy, we will still use that name, even if she uses it too. I feel bad, but really it just shows how like-minded we are. And in the end I would change the name if it were a close family member, but not for my BFF's kids.
I would be extremely upset- I would actually stand up and say something.
We're due Dec 2nd and aren't telling the names bc husband is set in his ways that people steal baby names-- however teh one we have picked out for a girl I WOULD BE IRATE if someone else used it before we had ours this year that we knew
If you never tell anyone your baby name and then they use it, can you still be upset? We told everyone early so that they knew it was "taken" but I don't get the reverse logic?
I'd be upset too! This actually happened to me! I told my friend that FI and I decided if one day we have a little girl we would name her Oliva..dont you know that was on of her top names! Thank the good lord she decided to go with something else:)
I understand you don't own the name, but the fact that you are the one who told her you liked that name and she is gonna use it..thats kinda messed up!
Thank for the input ladies ;-) I know I'm being a five year old and I could never say anything to her other than what I've already said. It still just sucks. I mean the amount of Gone With The Wind memorabilia I have at my house is downright embarassing! I love the name Scarlett so much that I'll still use it one day regardless. She's due next week and I get to be present for the birth! Hopefully, it'll be a boy and all this worrying will be for nothing ;-)
Ehhh... I don't know. It's a name. It sucks that she used that name. HOWEVER, you aren't pregnant, you're not having a baby right now, and if and when you DO have a baby, you don't know that you're having a girl. It would be a little meaner if you were due to give birth to a baby girl and your best friend knew that and then "took" your name.
That being said, there is no law saying that you cannot name your baby Scarlett when the time comes. It's not all that strange. I mean, FI's two cousins who are sisters had babies within 8 months of one another and both little girls are named Jaqueline (after their grandmother). Talk about confusing :)
I just read your update- she doesn't even know if she's having a boy or girl???
I always tell my FI, "Don't worry until you have something to worry about. Otherwise it's just a waste of energy." Stop worrying, girl! :) It's going to be ok!
I would be upset, but I also agree that the name Scarlett is getting really popular! MY wedding photographer and co-worker have both had daughters in the last year and named the kids Scarlett!
@Mighty - that's a great point you bring up.
Personally, I cannot be mad about it. Maybe disappointed not so much at the person but at the idea that the name is used. This should not happen to the hubs and I as we picked a fairly unique name. I honestly cannot wait to reveal it at the shower. Now, if I only knew when my shower will be, lol :)
I'd definately still name your future daughter Scarlett no matter the outcome. And I'd be somewhat upset but not mad. We're just talking about when to have a baby and names stress me out already. It seems like every name is a name of an ex (or ex crush or ex friend), a family member (and neither one of us have a tradition of naming after family so if we do other people who the baby wasn't named after are going to be offended) or some name that's already been called - whether it's been friends that already have kids or who have kinda been like oh this is what name we're going to use. So the whole name thing stresses me out because I have no idea what name to use besides some really uncommon name use, so to an extent I sympathize with her too.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 94 |
| ndreighton | 64 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 56 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| akp0702 | 42 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| MrsBlueSeptember | 41 |
| MrsPom | 37 |
| Beckster329 | 37 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| joy2011 | 4 |
| bostongirl27 | 4 |
| roxy821 | 3 |
| Running Elley | 2 |
| DHillwig | 2 |
| flamingred | 1 |
| BirdofaFeather | 1 |
| bunny | 1 |
| hergreenapples | 1 |
| trugem | 1 |
