(Closed) What? I'm whining ALREADY?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9614 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i get frustrated already about planning, and barely doing any since it is so far away. already worked on seating plan, bridal party, etc and it is a nightmare at times! but when it gets bad i just stop planning stuff for a while, then i get excited about it again

Post # 4
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

When someone made suggestions to me that were just not in the budget, I’d smile and say “That sounds lovely, unfortunately I can’t afford that.”

I did compromise on our meal though- we did want a sit down, plated meal, but I couldn’t afford dinner prices for almost 200 people.  So- we’re serving lunch instead. 

I bought my dress off the rack about 10 months in advance, and took it to an independent seamstress for alterations since bridal salons charge out of the wazoo.

I demanded fake flowers for our receptions, but as part of a compromise I agreed to spring for the real deal for the ceremony.

Our centerpieces are doubling as favors- they are bowls of candy.  Instead of having floral centerpieces AND a candy buffet, we’re kind of killing two birds with one stone (no actual birds are being killed!)

Good luck sweets!

Post # 5
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MissBoPeep:  I found a catering hall where we can have an open bar and sit down meal for about $85 per person (this is with taxes and gratuity added) plus an open bar. I work with this place for other events so I know the food is good.  Is Reading PA too far for you?

Post # 6
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think most people either don’t understand, or have forgotten how far in advance you need to make a lot of these decisions. Therefore, when you are planning stuff a year + in advance, they just don’t get into it……for me with some people it almost felt like they weren’t taking it seriously yet because it was too far away.

Just own your choices: if you want a food truck, get a food truck. Don’t let people bully you into something you don’t want.

The advantage of having a longer engagement (a year or more) is that you have the time to take breaks when things get overwhelming. Take that luxury!

Post # 7
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I actually got burned out like 2 weeks in, trying to find a venue and caterer in my little (6-7 k) budget. Ridiculous, because thing being booked up wasn’t even an issue, but there was still nothing reasonable that I liked! Then FI saved the day with an amazing idea that I had actually already vetoed before, and turned out he was totally right. Good thing I’m marrying him… Now my biggest source of burnout is the ceremony planning, and I honestly can’t promise we won’t just elope. I’m sorry I don’t have any constructive ideas for you, but I kind of know how you feel. 

Post # 8
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@MissBoPeep:  Yes, yes, yes!

I’m finally two months out from the wedding, but it’s been about a year and a half of planning and I hate it. I love reading wedding blogs, looking at pictures, etc. But when it comes to actually planning my day, I am miserable. I hate being the center of attention, I hate working with a “small” budget (about the same as yours), and I hate trying to make everyone else happy. Everyone keeps saying “Oh its your day, do what makes you two happy”, but that hasn;t been the case at all.

I cried every time I went dress shopping. I stopped caring about things that I cared about at the beginning, and I am just generally over it.

Anyways…sorry to vent there…I completely understand what youre feeling. What helped for us was to just not plan anything for a month or two. We luckily had the time to do that, but it really helped. Also, plan some date nights where you can NOT talk about the wedding. It’s a constant stress and sometimes you need to actually make an effort to leave it behind and focus on you as a couple.

Take some time away from planning and it will help you feel refreshed 🙂

 

Post # 9
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Aww, Bo Peep! I sympathize; I was really slammed at work when we got engaged, and it was hard not to feel overwhelmed, especially with parents e-mailing/calling/texting about wedding plans ALL the time.

I classify some wedding tasks as “necessary but tedious and/or evil” and some as “surprisingly fun.” We had a blast registering for gifts and cake tasting was fun, too. Sometimes we just make decisions without hemming and hawing too much over them, and then we can move on. If we had a longer engagement, maybe we could stress about smaller details, but that was making me crazy because of the sheer volume of To Dos. So try to figure out what is MOST important to you and your FI (and your parents) and start from there.

I hope planning goes smoothly and becomes more enjoyable! Hang in there! Smile

Post # 11
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

(hugs) I hope it gets better/easier for you.  I burned out quickly myself and I still hate planning it.  I have no motivation to finish.

Post # 12
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m in almost the exact same position. Engaged roughly three weeks, just want the planning to be over with. I’ve been especially frustrated because my parents offered to foot the bill, but won’t give me a budget. I’m guessing 10K is probably their limit, but it’s become a situation where I go to them with everything and they won’t commit to anything because they think the date is too far away and we don’t need to decide anything yet (it’s in MAY). So I tried to point out that I was making some inquiries about transportation (I don’t particularly want my wedding party to be driving drunk after the wedding) and a few places already had what I wanted booked and my mom freaked out about how I wanted things to be super extravagant and I couldn’t get everything I wanted. But if I had a budget, I would make it all work! It’s not knowing what I’m working with that is making me crazy.

Post # 13
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Achk. 🙁  I’m so sorry…  I hate to say it, but reading how stressed out some brides get (and I have a wee bit of anxiety about such things) I am more and more at peace with our decision to do something small and/or elope!

Hang in there!

Post # 14
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ugh! I’m totally feeling this thread…

Engaged three weeks… Been planning 2 engagement parties and I swear, if the difficulty of planning these parties are anything to go by, I am totally screwed!

Every time I even think of anything wedding related and the stress, issues and money involved it makes my head hurt.

Honestly, there are times where i’ve secretly wished I could go back to waiting!

Post # 15
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m right there with you Bo Peep… I spent an hour whining to FI last night about things I was disliking already with how wedding planning was going… and it’s only been a little over a week for me!!!

Eloping looks more and more like a suitable option

Post # 16
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

we’re feeding 100 for less than £5k!

canapes for 70% of guests, main course, wedding cake for dessert, cheese buffet for 70% of guests in the evening.

just those little changes saved us £3k! Smile

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