Post # 1
FI had told me a while back that his mom really wanted us to have a good photographer and would be willing to help pay to get one. Well, FI and I found a great photographer for within our price range and we’re really happy with our choice. I thought we were good. Apparently not. I found out today that actually, she plans on hiring her own photographer to get all of the shots that she wants at our wedding. In case you missed it, we’ve already signed a contract with a photographer stating we’ll have TWO photographers at the wedding. Now she wants to add another photographer into the mix. I’m also fairly certain it goes against our contract to bring in another photographer. I don’t know what photos she’s looking for that our photographer won’t capture. If she has specific requests that we’re able to accommodate, I have no problem doing so. How do we address this? She’s one of those people who holds grudges and won’t hesitate to shun you. I don’t want to deal with that stress leading up to the wedding, but I also don’t want her to hire her own photographer for our event. It’s bad enough telling family not to take pictures with their phones during the ceremony. Try telling a hired professional not to get in the way of the ones we chose. I don’t know how to go about solving this problem. As far as I know she hasn’t hired a photographer yet, but that’s her plan. Advice is greatly needed.
Post # 2
I would just have your fiance tell her it’s against your contract and that’s the end of discussion. An emphatic No.
Post # 3
HonoraryNerd: Tell your FMIL to get off Pinterest. Joking. (sort of) Seriously, what kind of elaborate shots does she want that the photographers you chose can’t get? Will she listen to your FI (or any other ally within the family she will listen to?)
She needs to be told that you’ve already picked a photographer and signed a contract. No other pro photographers will be allowed.
Post # 4
If you let her walk all over you now, that is what gives her reign to do it for the rest of the marriage. (babies,purchases,moves) set her straight now, or its only the beginning…
Post # 6
emstar168: FI’s already on her shit list at the moment. We’re moving out of our parents’ houses (FINALLY!! We’ve been waiting a year for this) on Wednesday. And his only sibling is moving out a few days later. She’s not happy with either of them about it. She’s taken to being rather passive agressive about it.
Post # 7
DewB59: The last time I did that with her, she didn’t talk to me for months, didn’t allow me to go to their house (where FI was living at the time), and ignored any attemps from me of reconciliation. Like I said, don’t want to deal with that nonsense leading up to the wedding. What I really need is a way to make it clear to her that she cannot hire her own photographer without her thinking I’m attacking her. Easier said than done.
Post # 8
Let your FI tell her that you’ve signed a contract and can’t get out of it and that you are not permitted to have another photographer as per your photog’s request.
This isn’t her wedding. You two need to stand your ground and if she makes a big deal out of it, let her, and let it all blow over.
Post # 9
I agree with PPs. You need to tell her that you love her initiative but you have final say, as this is YOUR wedding.
Post # 10
Your FMIL is thinking “Noooooooooo my reign cannot be over! I will show them and myself that I’m still in charge! Bend and bow to my will!”
Please don’t let her be right.
Post # 11
You tell her that it’s your wedding and you have it handled. OMG how annoying!!!!
Post # 12
Honestly, any decent photographer wouldn’t sign a contract with her without first speaking with the couple getting married .
Post # 13
HonoraryNerd: … which is why your FI (not you) needs to be the one to pull her into line.
He should tell her that another photographer is not allowed at the wedding and he/she will be asked to leave. If she wants to get her own shots done at a different venue (without you and FI) that’s her business.
Post # 14
Spark up a conversation with her and go on telling about what you’ve already got down so far on the wedding, and slide in that you and your fiance has already hired and signed with the photographers for the wedding. Put it some stuff like, I have found the right flowers, choosing between this and this, I’ll probably go for this. Just to not make it as obvious but be firm and make sure she listened and acknowledged to what you said about the photographers. (Like a nod or a response) Wouldn’t want her to delibrately miss that!
Post # 15
Is it possible that she wants to take this opportunity to get family photos done? So her photographer would only be there possibly before or after the ceromony to take photos of individual family groups while you take photos with you+ whoever? That would at least make some sense and it’s nice that she’s. It trying tot take your photographer away from you to do so, but if this conflicts with your contract then you obviously have to bring it up and talk to her about it.