What in the WORLD is my FMIL thinking?!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just have your fiance tell her it’s against your contract and that’s the end of discussion. An emphatic No. 

Post # 3
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

HonoraryNerd:  Tell your FMIL to get off Pinterest. Joking. (sort of) Seriously, what kind of elaborate shots does she want that the photographers you chose can’t get? Will she listen to your FI (or any other ally within the family she will listen to?) 

She needs to be told that you’ve already picked a photographer and signed a contract. No other pro photographers will be allowed. 

 

Post # 4
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: mountain venue

If you let her walk all over you now, that is what gives her reign to do it for the rest of the marriage. (babies,purchases,moves) set her straight now, or its only the beginning…

Post # 8
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Let your FI tell her that you’ve signed a contract and can’t get out of it and that you are not permitted to have another photographer as per your photog’s request. 

This isn’t her wedding. You two need to stand your ground and if she makes a big deal out of it, let her, and let it all blow over. 

Post # 9
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I agree with PPs. You need to tell her that you love her initiative but you have final say, as this is YOUR wedding.

Post # 10
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Your FMIL is thinking “Noooooooooo my reign cannot be over! I will show them and myself that I’m still in charge! Bend and bow to my will!”

Please don’t let her be right.

Post # 11
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You tell her that it’s your wedding and you have it handled. OMG how annoying!!!!

Post # 12
Member
3351 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, any decent photographer wouldn’t sign a contract with her without first speaking with the couple getting married .

Post # 13
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

HonoraryNerd:  … which is why your FI (not you) needs to be the one to pull her into line. 

He should tell her that another photographer is not allowed at the wedding and he/she will be asked to leave. If she wants to get her own shots done at a different venue (without you and FI) that’s her business.

Post # 14
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

Spark up a conversation with her and go on telling about what you’ve already got down so far on the wedding, and slide in that you and your fiance has already hired and signed with the photographers for the wedding. Put it some stuff like, I have found the right flowers, choosing between this and this, I’ll probably go for this. Just to not make it as obvious but be firm and make sure she listened and acknowledged to what you said about the photographers. (Like a nod or a response) Wouldn’t want her to delibrately miss that!

Post # 15
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Is it possible that she wants to take this opportunity to get family photos done? So her photographer would only be there possibly before or after the ceromony to take photos of individual family groups while you take photos with you+ whoever? That would at least make some sense and it’s nice that she’s. It trying tot take your photographer away from you to do so, but if this conflicts with your contract then you obviously have to bring it up and talk to her about it.

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