(Closed) What is a bigger Deal? Baby or Wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Which is a bigger life event?
    Getting Married : (11 votes)
    20 %
    Getting Pregnant : (44 votes)
    80 %
  • Post # 3
    2634 posts
    Sugar bee

    They’re both HUGE in seperate ways.  I don’t think it has to be either/or.

    Post # 4
    7082 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I want to choose “other”, because I think they are both equally important life-changing events.

    I know that when I called family to tell them I’d been accepted to medical school (my biggest life event up to that point), I got trumped by family baby news.  No one was even excited about my news because the first grandkid was coming!

    Babies are amazing and life changing, but so is starting a new family when a couple comes together to get married.  Plus, some opt not to have children.  Does that make them any less of a family?  I don’t think so!

    So I select “other”!

    Post # 5
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think it depends on where you are in your life. Weddings are more important but once you have kids, I think that becomes a “bigger” deal. Most people don’t say getting married was a better/happier day than having babies (ok that lady on Platinum Weddings said that!) and say that the day they had their kid was the best. But I think people who are married get a “been there done that” attitude and let the baby deal overshadow it. Babies are “more” permanent I guess? “More” life changing? a majillion more factors, lol. 

    For me, now, the wedding si more important. In 5 years it will not be. But I would be upset, too, if everybody’s pregnancies were bering announced> It’s natural to feel a ilttle overshadowed.

    Post # 6
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    I think they’re both huge life events and that they really can’t be compared! I vote that they’re pretty equal.

    Post # 7
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Both, but in different ways. They both require a lifetime commitments.

    Post # 8
    1982 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If I HAD to choose, I’d choose baby. I mean, getting married is a big deal but marriages can be annulled/ended with divorce. You’re kind of stuck with a kid for life, like it or not–that’s a MAJOR difference!

    Anything that comes with a socially acceptable “out” versus no socially acceptable “out” is probably going to be a little more flexible and thus maybe not as life-altering.

    (Note: I am not sure we’ll ever have kids, either. We want kids, but we want them much later, and want to achieve certain goals first. So I’m with you– we may miss out on that experience.)

    Post # 9
    2462 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    i think they’re both huge. but if it’s an either/or, in terms of lifestyle changes, i think pregnancy is bigger. but i say this because most couples in my social circle already live together before marraige, so the wedding really just formalizes a commitment that is already there and celebrates joining the families. but really–i’m already a part of my fi’s family, he’s part of mine, and we’ve been committed to one another and our joint future for long before we were engaged. but kids change everything about your daily life and your worldview.

    Post # 10
    1207 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I guess if you are doing baby vs wedding, then baby because it’s not just getting pregnant; that part is easy ;-).  It’s the actual raising of the child, the nurturing and care for another human being.  It’s being responsible for someone else’s life wholly and totally that makes having a baby such a big deal.  But I think getting married is a big deal too.  It’s a semi-unpopular opinion (but one the Catholic church oddly agrees with) that when/if you have kids then you should always love your spouse more than your kids.  So I agree with pp that they are both big deals in different ways.  And if you don’t plan on having kids, then yes, your wedding will probably be the biggest life event for you.  But then again maybe not.  Maybe you will win the lottery some day ;-).

    Post # 11
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I do think that both are very big life changing events, but the baby wins out for me. I’m not a mom (yet), but I feel that when you get married, yes, it’s an adjustment. But, I also think that while it’s your comittment to each other to love them for the rest of your life, you can always undo it legally. With a baby, you are responsible for a person. An actual human being…and to me, I think that’s a much bigger deal. Was my wedding a huge deal? Absolutely! But I think the baby trumps that b/c you’re responsible for raising a little person.

    Post # 12
    2475 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    If I had to choose, I would say having a baby.  Basically because once it happens, there’s no turning back.  As far as getting married goes – people get divorced every day…

    Post # 14
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I think they are both huge milestones, but the baby changes your life so much more. 

    Post # 15
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    To me, getting pregnant is a way bigger deal… I feel it will totally change my life and probably also our relationship, and there is no going back.  Getting married will be a slight change (I’m guessing) – since we already live together the day to day will be very similar to how it is right now.  The change will be emotional/mental, it will not affect how I spend every waking minute the same way having a little baby does.

    Post # 16
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Well, since I’ve done both, I have to say – the wedding is not as big of a deal as giving birth, BUT the marriage has to be as big of a deal as having a child for the family to work.  The wedding is the icing on the cake of getting married.  It’s a big day, a big deal, and a great event to share your love with your family, to be sure.  But giving birth – being pregnant and having your child – is a bigger deal.  (As in, you can’t have a child without the event of “giving birth,” but you can have a marriage without a wedding.)

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